Oh no! So sorry. That sucks. Skin heals pretty quickly though, not like hearts. And the scars are smallish and sometimes look cool. Wishing you the speediest recovery. And another great story to share.
Childhood trauma, hoo boy. Teetering on senior citizenship I just fully realized that BOTH my parents are narcissists, true definition of the word narcissists. In my whole life I never knew that label, but more importantly, didn't understand how the patterns played out, or that this was a whole world of therapy and partners in the trenches who have dealt with the exact same thing. Somehow (?!?) I thought it was just my own little obstacle course to work through on my own.
Flash forward and I've watched a thousand YT vids, read books, and am now an expert on narcissism. And you know what? It doesn't matter. It almost feels like a lot of people use the label as an excuse to break ties, opt out and just shunt the whole problem away from themselves to avoid the mental anguish and punishment. No judgements either way, and I can't imagine anyone else's lived experience. But for myself, I can't do that at this stage of life. I have to take care of them and their physical disabilities. I have to find a way right through the middle. And it's shitty. It's made me who I am, some for the better, some for the worse.
This theme that you wrote about today has been top of mind for me the last few months. You've given me even deeper insight and certainly more courage to muscle through and look for the lessons. I'm really grateful I found my way here to your little corner. Such great writing. Thank you!!
t almost feels like a lot of people use the label as an excuse to break ties, opt out and just shunt the whole problem away from themselves to avoid the mental anguish and punishment. No judgements either way, and I can't imagine anyone else's lived experience.
THAT. Lots of folks bandy the term about without recognizing that they also have 100% responsibility for THEIR part. Well said,. Heidi.
What a gorgeous response Heidi, and thanks. I want to write more but just sliced my finger open and am back from urgent care and need to lie down..ow....
I needed to see this today. I was starting to sink into an Ooh, no! Not again; not now!” moment as a slow moving storm of approaching death and derailment engulfs my family. Snapped out of it and got to work. This is life.
I needed this today. Beautiful and useful. I noticed when I went to my NA mtg today after what felt like a shit storm of a day, (it wasn't--just my response to it) I immediately felt better because the focus was off of myself and in the moment with other fellow travelers.
It's one thing to learn/grow/speak your trauma, and something else to let it define and become you. I see too many people who live in the past with that latter condition.
FYI: Also enjoyed Damsel. I know it's not getting great critical reviews, but I wasn't expecting Oscar material anyway.
Deep perspective -- and GORGEOUS crystal desk dragon. What a great reminder. I once wrote a Medium article about the question "Why Me?" It could have been a three-word article because the only answer, IM (never H)O, is "Why not you?"
Oh no! So sorry. That sucks. Skin heals pretty quickly though, not like hearts. And the scars are smallish and sometimes look cool. Wishing you the speediest recovery. And another great story to share.
Childhood trauma, hoo boy. Teetering on senior citizenship I just fully realized that BOTH my parents are narcissists, true definition of the word narcissists. In my whole life I never knew that label, but more importantly, didn't understand how the patterns played out, or that this was a whole world of therapy and partners in the trenches who have dealt with the exact same thing. Somehow (?!?) I thought it was just my own little obstacle course to work through on my own.
Flash forward and I've watched a thousand YT vids, read books, and am now an expert on narcissism. And you know what? It doesn't matter. It almost feels like a lot of people use the label as an excuse to break ties, opt out and just shunt the whole problem away from themselves to avoid the mental anguish and punishment. No judgements either way, and I can't imagine anyone else's lived experience. But for myself, I can't do that at this stage of life. I have to take care of them and their physical disabilities. I have to find a way right through the middle. And it's shitty. It's made me who I am, some for the better, some for the worse.
This theme that you wrote about today has been top of mind for me the last few months. You've given me even deeper insight and certainly more courage to muscle through and look for the lessons. I'm really grateful I found my way here to your little corner. Such great writing. Thank you!!
t almost feels like a lot of people use the label as an excuse to break ties, opt out and just shunt the whole problem away from themselves to avoid the mental anguish and punishment. No judgements either way, and I can't imagine anyone else's lived experience.
THAT. Lots of folks bandy the term about without recognizing that they also have 100% responsibility for THEIR part. Well said,. Heidi.
What a gorgeous response Heidi, and thanks. I want to write more but just sliced my finger open and am back from urgent care and need to lie down..ow....
Another masterful post! Amor fati!
Thank you!!!
YES! This piece is a great assist!
I needed to see this today. I was starting to sink into an Ooh, no! Not again; not now!” moment as a slow moving storm of approaching death and derailment engulfs my family. Snapped out of it and got to work. This is life.
Don't we all! And it's perfectly fair to have shit days. Or weeks or years, too. They all serve a purpose.
I needed this today. Beautiful and useful. I noticed when I went to my NA mtg today after what felt like a shit storm of a day, (it wasn't--just my response to it) I immediately felt better because the focus was off of myself and in the moment with other fellow travelers.
that's what Nature does for me. That's why my weekly trips to the Coast are hallowed times. Thanks so much.
It's one thing to learn/grow/speak your trauma, and something else to let it define and become you. I see too many people who live in the past with that latter condition.
FYI: Also enjoyed Damsel. I know it's not getting great critical reviews, but I wasn't expecting Oscar material anyway.
Precisely. Everyone is allowed a perfectly justifiable pity party....then the party needs to end already.
Deep perspective -- and GORGEOUS crystal desk dragon. What a great reminder. I once wrote a Medium article about the question "Why Me?" It could have been a three-word article because the only answer, IM (never H)O, is "Why not you?"
She's lovely. I found her at the first part of the year before Chinese New Year. Hadda have her!