Thank you for this. I will be 72 next month. During covid I managed to take off 50 pounds through revamping my eating habits and daily walking. After having a hysterectomy 12 months ago, five pounds have creeped back on. I have been making myself crazy trying to lose them, to no avail. It's time to just stop my foolishness. Yesterday I caught myself thinking "well, no pumpkin coffees for you this autumn, too much sugar." Then the thought surfaced wondering how many autumns I had left in my life. Do I really want to die while still trying to lose weight? So l will stop writing this right now, get into my car and go buy the damn coffee!
Sharing two ‘life checks’. 1. My mom lives a day’s drive away. I see her about once a year. One day I thought to myself ‘she’s 75. At this rate I MIGHT get to see her 10 more times and that’s not enough’. It was almost like a gut punch. 2. About a year and a half ago I decided to myself I was ‘going to be kinder to my body’. I literally said it out loud to myself. I started doing yoga to maintain (and hopefully gain) mobility and sound movement. It’s been a life changer. Thank you for another ‘life check’.
Greatly appreciated this post, because living to vote for Kam/Gus's Dad, is what I am doing right now. At 87 yo, born in 1937 and remembering the day FDR told me & my family in Arlington, VA, while gathered around our radio, re the DAY OF INFAMY! There is no way to ever be ANYTHING but a DEMOCRAT (I think, therefore, I AM). I am here to tell you that politics is in my blood. Renewed my NV driver's license last year, many stints in my heart, still walking a mile, at least, every day, and enjoying my very important 4 careers in the past and voting DEMOCRATIC PARTY for the first time in 1955 when I turned 18. The best thing I offer here is Laughter is the Best MEDICINE; DON'T TAKE yourself too seriously... OH, wait, one more: #HOPEAnchorsTheSoul. I understand why Gus's Dad and & Gwen named their first child, HOPE! Loving and rescuing animals (cat's Rule, though) has GREAT merit.
GOOD LUCK TO US ALL this last year of our CHANCE TO SAVE AMERICA.
I think we should be less concerned about thick or thin and instead focus on whether or not our body functions are sufficient to keep us going, and focus on those.
I love this post, which I needed to read. Yes, I need to lose weight, but screw the supermodel-body goals. It's about health for me, but I also have to understand that post-menopause, the body holds onto weight more. The line "We are terribly cruel to the one person who most terribly needs our love and acceptance: ourselves" really hit home for me. Thank you for this.
I guess the key is to accept ourselves for who we are and to practice self-love.
I agree-that line also hit home for me. I try to remind myself to practice self-love for my body when those icky thoughts creep in, but I'm from now going with "fuck it, I'm strong and healthy!"
I absolutely loved reading this! I also lost one of my best friends to cancer a while ago and it was SUCH a wake up call. Our time is short and we have to make the most of each day and "play" as you say. Thank you.
Oops, I just saw that other commenters have noted the same correction, which you said you made -- but I don't see it in the version I received. Maybe I'm late to the party, or Substack didn't upload the revised version?
I made the correction after it got published, so not sure, Jan. It’s corrected on the site. I appreciate the input and as soon as someone pointed it out this morning I changed it, but the story had already gone out to quite a few folks. Not sure how it all works but I edited it immediately.
I'm sure that explains it. Easy mistake to make -- both those women occupy an exalted place in my inspirational pantheon, and their messages resonate with a lot of similarity.
I wrote this late (for me) last night after a very long and frustrating drive home from Portland, stuck in traffic for extra hours due to accidents. So I was tired.
I have to disagree. I am 84 years old. I am fit and look very attractive in my clothes. I intend to keep it that way because it makes me feel good and the most important thing for me, is to feel good about myself. As a young woman, I seemed to always be pregnant!! Now is my time to shine!
I'm not sure there's anything to disagree with here, Suellen. All I am addressing is the compulsive focus on our bodies when life calls us to live it. I am also very fit. I also look good in my clothing. That's lovely, but it's not the primary thing in life- and that was my point. Feeling good about ourselves varies broadly from one person to another and there is nothing in the article that says don't feel good in your clothing or don't be fit. Just don't let societal messaging about how we look rob us of time to be joyful. That's all.
LOVE this. But I do feel compelled to gently point out that while the incandescent Ms. Lamott may have certainly written a poem or two in her life, she's more known as a novelist, memoirist, and essayist. And the poem you quote from about our "one wild and precious life" is by the late and oh-so-great Mary Oliver.
I am 64 and I just climbed Mt. Whitney, the tallest mountain in the lower 48, with a friend who is much younger. However, two days before our hike she was on chemo for breast cancer, and two weeks after our hike she was scheduled for surgery for a related issue. She talked about how her medical issues had caused her to lose her ego about her looks. I wrote about my last article on my own substack.
In my view, there is a big difference between caring how society views us and how we view ourselves. Aging is inevitable. It is ridiculous and pointless to worry that you look different at age 60 than at age 20. The issue becomes if you use that as an excuse to not exercise or eat well or do the things that can keep you feeling as healthy as you can be.
One of the people who joined us on the climb was 72. You wouldn't look at her and think she was a model. But so what, she was in great shape, and able to use her body to do the things she wanted.
it amazes me that young people don't realize how beautiful they are.
I was like that, back then, as well.
women's world magazine had a picture of Richard Simmons on the cover, and a new diet every week.
I felt fat, and unattractive. single mom with small children. a busy job plus school led to brief anorexia. maintaining my very brief size 6 period, meant 2 hours hard exercise daily.
doctor asked me: " do you want to be doing an hour of aerobics plus an hour of walking every day when you're 65?"
I'm 65 now.
actually, I do still walk an hour a day but no time for aerobics.
no longer size 6, but jfc! now there is a size zero!
Thank you for this. I will be 72 next month. During covid I managed to take off 50 pounds through revamping my eating habits and daily walking. After having a hysterectomy 12 months ago, five pounds have creeped back on. I have been making myself crazy trying to lose them, to no avail. It's time to just stop my foolishness. Yesterday I caught myself thinking "well, no pumpkin coffees for you this autumn, too much sugar." Then the thought surfaced wondering how many autumns I had left in my life. Do I really want to die while still trying to lose weight? So l will stop writing this right now, get into my car and go buy the damn coffee!
I absolutely love you for this comment: "how many autumns do I have left?" PRECISELY. Oh my god. Precisely. Buy the damn coffee. Thank you, Elizabeth.
Also, may I quote you, Elizabeth?
Absolutely!
Good for you, Elizabeth! While it's important to aim for good health, self-deprivation isn't worth it.
Sharing two ‘life checks’. 1. My mom lives a day’s drive away. I see her about once a year. One day I thought to myself ‘she’s 75. At this rate I MIGHT get to see her 10 more times and that’s not enough’. It was almost like a gut punch. 2. About a year and a half ago I decided to myself I was ‘going to be kinder to my body’. I literally said it out loud to myself. I started doing yoga to maintain (and hopefully gain) mobility and sound movement. It’s been a life changer. Thank you for another ‘life check’.
WONDERFUL. Thank you, Pamela.
Greatly appreciated this post, because living to vote for Kam/Gus's Dad, is what I am doing right now. At 87 yo, born in 1937 and remembering the day FDR told me & my family in Arlington, VA, while gathered around our radio, re the DAY OF INFAMY! There is no way to ever be ANYTHING but a DEMOCRAT (I think, therefore, I AM). I am here to tell you that politics is in my blood. Renewed my NV driver's license last year, many stints in my heart, still walking a mile, at least, every day, and enjoying my very important 4 careers in the past and voting DEMOCRATIC PARTY for the first time in 1955 when I turned 18. The best thing I offer here is Laughter is the Best MEDICINE; DON'T TAKE yourself too seriously... OH, wait, one more: #HOPEAnchorsTheSoul. I understand why Gus's Dad and & Gwen named their first child, HOPE! Loving and rescuing animals (cat's Rule, though) has GREAT merit.
GOOD LUCK TO US ALL this last year of our CHANCE TO SAVE AMERICA.
🥰
I like the idea of saying ‘healthy and functionally fit’ when people ask you how you’re going too. Thank you.
You are so welcome.
I think we should be less concerned about thick or thin and instead focus on whether or not our body functions are sufficient to keep us going, and focus on those.
Precisely, Gary.
Hi Julia,
I love this post, which I needed to read. Yes, I need to lose weight, but screw the supermodel-body goals. It's about health for me, but I also have to understand that post-menopause, the body holds onto weight more. The line "We are terribly cruel to the one person who most terribly needs our love and acceptance: ourselves" really hit home for me. Thank you for this.
I guess the key is to accept ourselves for who we are and to practice self-love.
The hardest possible thing for us.
I agree-that line also hit home for me. I try to remind myself to practice self-love for my body when those icky thoughts creep in, but I'm from now going with "fuck it, I'm strong and healthy!"
Self-love is essential.
I absolutely loved reading this! I also lost one of my best friends to cancer a while ago and it was SUCH a wake up call. Our time is short and we have to make the most of each day and "play" as you say. Thank you.
Hard truth. I was so grateful for this reminder.
Oops, I just saw that other commenters have noted the same correction, which you said you made -- but I don't see it in the version I received. Maybe I'm late to the party, or Substack didn't upload the revised version?
I made the correction after it got published, so not sure, Jan. It’s corrected on the site. I appreciate the input and as soon as someone pointed it out this morning I changed it, but the story had already gone out to quite a few folks. Not sure how it all works but I edited it immediately.
I'm sure that explains it. Easy mistake to make -- both those women occupy an exalted place in my inspirational pantheon, and their messages resonate with a lot of similarity.
I wrote this late (for me) last night after a very long and frustrating drive home from Portland, stuck in traffic for extra hours due to accidents. So I was tired.
It was Mary Oliver, not Anne Lamont, who wrote about your one ‘wild and precious life’. just to give credit - otherwise I’m 100% w/you on this
Just corrected. Thank you so kindly for the edit. I really appreciate it.
And I also gave you credit at the bottom of the article.
Gawd., thank you, I wrote this last night after a long drive. Correcting right now and I appreciate it!
I have to disagree. I am 84 years old. I am fit and look very attractive in my clothes. I intend to keep it that way because it makes me feel good and the most important thing for me, is to feel good about myself. As a young woman, I seemed to always be pregnant!! Now is my time to shine!
I'm not sure there's anything to disagree with here, Suellen. All I am addressing is the compulsive focus on our bodies when life calls us to live it. I am also very fit. I also look good in my clothing. That's lovely, but it's not the primary thing in life- and that was my point. Feeling good about ourselves varies broadly from one person to another and there is nothing in the article that says don't feel good in your clothing or don't be fit. Just don't let societal messaging about how we look rob us of time to be joyful. That's all.
I never have.
Too many have, and so have I. So that is who this is largely addressed to.
Love this! I’ve been feeling a little “fat” lately. But I’m healthy, strong, and my body supports me so fuck it. 🫶
Precisely.
me too! I'm gonna take yours as my mantra this week! healthy, strong so fuck it!
Woot woot!
LOVE this. But I do feel compelled to gently point out that while the incandescent Ms. Lamott may have certainly written a poem or two in her life, she's more known as a novelist, memoirist, and essayist. And the poem you quote from about our "one wild and precious life" is by the late and oh-so-great Mary Oliver.
I don’t have time for that shit anymore either.
AMEN.
I am 64 and I just climbed Mt. Whitney, the tallest mountain in the lower 48, with a friend who is much younger. However, two days before our hike she was on chemo for breast cancer, and two weeks after our hike she was scheduled for surgery for a related issue. She talked about how her medical issues had caused her to lose her ego about her looks. I wrote about my last article on my own substack.
In my view, there is a big difference between caring how society views us and how we view ourselves. Aging is inevitable. It is ridiculous and pointless to worry that you look different at age 60 than at age 20. The issue becomes if you use that as an excuse to not exercise or eat well or do the things that can keep you feeling as healthy as you can be.
One of the people who joined us on the climb was 72. You wouldn't look at her and think she was a model. But so what, she was in great shape, and able to use her body to do the things she wanted.
May I quote you? I love this.
Of course. I'd be honored.
We are too old for this, no matter what our age. None of us are guaranteed tomorrow. Thank you for sharing these words of wisdom.
And thanks to you as well.
it amazes me that young people don't realize how beautiful they are.
I was like that, back then, as well.
women's world magazine had a picture of Richard Simmons on the cover, and a new diet every week.
I felt fat, and unattractive. single mom with small children. a busy job plus school led to brief anorexia. maintaining my very brief size 6 period, meant 2 hours hard exercise daily.
doctor asked me: " do you want to be doing an hour of aerobics plus an hour of walking every day when you're 65?"
I'm 65 now.
actually, I do still walk an hour a day but no time for aerobics.
no longer size 6, but jfc! now there is a size zero!
anyway enough of that.
live.
no longer care.
What a journey this is…that it takes a lifetime, Judith.