Julia, I am humbled, yet again by your kindness. I do have something to say about ageism and aging in general ... it's attitude. I don't think about "getting older" or "being older". I am just about BEING. Being who I came here to be. Being all I can be for those around me. Being myself (still figuring that one out). Being ... because, when I focus on that, there isn't time to think about being old, older, or getting old or older. I'm busy being. And, I love how you write, what you write and especially, the understanding that I'm getting about you from what you write.
If you haven't already, Nurit, find Dr. Becca Levy's book Breaking the Age Code. I love how it emphasizes all the research around attitude and how we frame the aging process. At this point we really don't have the luxury to obsess about age. Just go out and live.
Yup. Which is what you're doing. What I'm doing. And, hopefully, what your readers are doing. Stop counting and start living. Don't waste the days. Feel them, live them, cram them full or rest fully, but don't count!!
I've found that one handy way to deal with ageism is to refuse to give it attention, thereby depriving it of oxygen. It's surprisingly effective in many situations.
That's a great strategy. I use it differently, obviously, but to deflate it just the same. So often, we don't realize we're ageist against ourselves. It's so ingrained in our society I didn't even notice it in my own vernacular, pointed at myself. It's useful as a foil- sometimes calling attention to it is like finding out we have garden pests which are well-camouflaged. Like being called "honey" or "sweetie," that cloying, annoying infantile language used by medical professionals which communicates such utter condescension.
I am just so grateful to see so many older writers speaking their truth and adding value to the conversation. Societies are doomed to collapse without the weight of earned wisdom. If there's one thing I value about social media, this would certainly be at the top. Thanks for commenting, Jan.
A well-arched eyebrow is often an excellent deterrent for being referred to as "honey" or "sweetie" -- if they keep it up, I address them as "my dear." They usually get the message.
All right that got a hearty laugh. My previous dogs were Blue Heelers; they are well-known for the doggy equivalent of the well-arched eyebrow. We ACD owners call it the stink eye. I hope this works: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/stink-eye--1829656072574189/
That's a classic example. I will use it next time someone calls me sweetie.
This strategy also works well with misogyny, patriarchy, and anything that says women aren't as great (or greater) than men 😁 Just snuff out its flame and make it irrelevant.
This is so good! As a primary school teacher, I’ve spent years telling young children that the struggle is where the learning happens, that mistakes and hardship are part of the struggle, that they’re not there ‘yet’ but they’re on the journey... But it all goes out the window when I’m the one learning! I expect it to happen breezily, without effort. What a helpful article for reminding me (though I’ve only just slipped into my thirties) of the importance of being prepared to make a fool of myself in learning something new (or continuing to learn the same old thing I’ve been trying to learn for a long time!).
I did, but there's an equally good chance that I saw it elsewhere and forgot, and want to claim that for myself. However I did come up with this on a fam trip. Our press group were talking about grapes, to which I said, "raw wine." That broke them up. Thanks for the kind words.
Back in my long-ago high school days, when all of us were itching to leave and make our mark on the world, we were told that we would spend our entire lives learning. In our youthful naivety we assumed that would mean memorization and tests, to which we would respond with a snide "Yeah, right!" I'm now older than I ever expected to be, and maybe 1% wiser than I was then. And even that 1% failed me this morning, when I failed to put grounds in the basket of the coffee maker before mashing the BREW button. Yes, I had one job...
Julia, you are a great role model! I love this reminder. I plan to emulate your learn forever mindset
Many thanks Tim!
Julia, I am humbled, yet again by your kindness. I do have something to say about ageism and aging in general ... it's attitude. I don't think about "getting older" or "being older". I am just about BEING. Being who I came here to be. Being all I can be for those around me. Being myself (still figuring that one out). Being ... because, when I focus on that, there isn't time to think about being old, older, or getting old or older. I'm busy being. And, I love how you write, what you write and especially, the understanding that I'm getting about you from what you write.
If you haven't already, Nurit, find Dr. Becca Levy's book Breaking the Age Code. I love how it emphasizes all the research around attitude and how we frame the aging process. At this point we really don't have the luxury to obsess about age. Just go out and live.
Yup. Which is what you're doing. What I'm doing. And, hopefully, what your readers are doing. Stop counting and start living. Don't waste the days. Feel them, live them, cram them full or rest fully, but don't count!!
I've found that one handy way to deal with ageism is to refuse to give it attention, thereby depriving it of oxygen. It's surprisingly effective in many situations.
That's a great strategy. I use it differently, obviously, but to deflate it just the same. So often, we don't realize we're ageist against ourselves. It's so ingrained in our society I didn't even notice it in my own vernacular, pointed at myself. It's useful as a foil- sometimes calling attention to it is like finding out we have garden pests which are well-camouflaged. Like being called "honey" or "sweetie," that cloying, annoying infantile language used by medical professionals which communicates such utter condescension.
I am just so grateful to see so many older writers speaking their truth and adding value to the conversation. Societies are doomed to collapse without the weight of earned wisdom. If there's one thing I value about social media, this would certainly be at the top. Thanks for commenting, Jan.
A well-arched eyebrow is often an excellent deterrent for being referred to as "honey" or "sweetie" -- if they keep it up, I address them as "my dear." They usually get the message.
All right that got a hearty laugh. My previous dogs were Blue Heelers; they are well-known for the doggy equivalent of the well-arched eyebrow. We ACD owners call it the stink eye. I hope this works: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/stink-eye--1829656072574189/
That's a classic example. I will use it next time someone calls me sweetie.
Oh, yeah, that's the look to practice!
:-)
This strategy also works well with misogyny, patriarchy, and anything that says women aren't as great (or greater) than men 😁 Just snuff out its flame and make it irrelevant.
This is so good! As a primary school teacher, I’ve spent years telling young children that the struggle is where the learning happens, that mistakes and hardship are part of the struggle, that they’re not there ‘yet’ but they’re on the journey... But it all goes out the window when I’m the one learning! I expect it to happen breezily, without effort. What a helpful article for reminding me (though I’ve only just slipped into my thirties) of the importance of being prepared to make a fool of myself in learning something new (or continuing to learn the same old thing I’ve been trying to learn for a long time!).
It's a lot easier to give advice than to live advice.
That sounded like a great article title.
And it's also so very true, Holly.
"Failing Forward" is one of the best terms I've ever come across. Did you come up with that one? It is brilliant 👏
I did, but there's an equally good chance that I saw it elsewhere and forgot, and want to claim that for myself. However I did come up with this on a fam trip. Our press group were talking about grapes, to which I said, "raw wine." That broke them up. Thanks for the kind words.
Back in my long-ago high school days, when all of us were itching to leave and make our mark on the world, we were told that we would spend our entire lives learning. In our youthful naivety we assumed that would mean memorization and tests, to which we would respond with a snide "Yeah, right!" I'm now older than I ever expected to be, and maybe 1% wiser than I was then. And even that 1% failed me this morning, when I failed to put grounds in the basket of the coffee maker before mashing the BREW button. Yes, I had one job...
I did the same thing with three different coffee makers on my trip to Arizona. Oh well....
Your titles are gold. Nev r too old. We just get better 🫶
Many thanks. It gets a fair number of laughs!