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Jan M. Flynn's avatar

That is sad news indeed about your friend's diagnosis, but the life lesson is clearly not lost on you. I got this lesson loud and clear when my first husband, at age 54, came home early from work one day feeling tired, took a nap and never woke up. Plans are great, as long as you know they're only plans, not contracts with the Universe.

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JULIA HUBBEL's avatar

Thanks Jan. It’s a hard reminder of how susceptible we are, and how tentative. For all our wanting to be all that, we aren’t. Very sorry about your husband. I can’t imagine how painful that must have been at the time.

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Beth L. Gainer's avatar

Julia,

I am so very sorry about your friend. She is facing a real fight.

We can't predict our future. Shit happens to us, and, like you said, "We are promised nothing." We must act and live the way we want when we can. As you know, I was diagnosed with breast cancer in my 30s, so mortality was on my radar pretty early on. And get this: I was a non-drinker, fit, healthy eater. What the hell?

For me, living my best life involves creating art. This is what I've been doing with my life since cancer, and my goodness, what a great way to live.

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JULIA HUBBEL's avatar

Even our best efforts aren't always rewarded. Honestly....all we can do is our best and have a sense of humor with the rest.

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KB in AZ's avatar

Sad news about your friend. Stage 4. 😳

I’m a retired RN, mostly adult and pediatric oncology and also hospice. I learned - young! - that there are NO guarantees of anything. Seeing 5 year olds dying after horrible treatments and ghastly surgeries changes you. Now at 70, I insist we travel and experience as much as we can, while we can. Don’t put things off. Tomorrow is definitely NOT guaranteed to anyone.

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JULIA HUBBEL's avatar

So very true, KB. These moments are such great reminders. I’m putting more life and joy into my days, more time with my dog, more time on the deck of the house I plan to sell, taking in the gorgeous surroundings. WE are in such a damned hurry and we notice so little of the miracles around us.

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Erika Andersen's avatar

Julia, this is powerful on so many levels; thank you.

An incredibly wise man once said to me: “every moment, remember death and life.” Meaning, be aware that death is a possibility in every instant, and that right now you have this astonishing gift of being alive. Take full advantage.

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JULIA HUBBEL's avatar

It is an astonishing gift. Thank you.

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Marlo Leaman's avatar

I'm sorry about your friend. Tomorrow's are not promised, they are gifts. I agree with that and that you are your best health advocate! Live your one big, beautiful life however you choose! I choose things that bring me joy-travel is one!

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Jenn Woltjen's avatar

So sorry to hear about your friend. I recently lost a friend unexpectedly and I have come to the realization that I must take advantage of every single day.......go places, meet people, have more fun, explore and try out things with a "leap of faith."

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William Carter's avatar

Great post. I hope that lung spot is nothing. You are right about living for tomorrow, because it might not come. I am 70 and was diagnosed with Parkinson's 8 years ago. My future tomorrows may be bleak. I try to live for today. Your post reaffirms that is time for me to plan that next trip, Thank you for writing this piece.

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Avivah Wittenberg-Cox's avatar

amen.

Love your pushing back at all the doctors and VA blocking. Absolutely essential.

Listen to your body telling you to listen.

As for travelling, I've travelled a ton. Now, I just want to get a puppy and hike the hills and admire the seasons passing...

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Michele Linehan's avatar

Julia, I'm right here with you. Five surgeries is less than four years. I'm alive, thank God and my fabulous doctor, I can walk. But I regret not traveling sooner. I'm not waiting any longer. It will be Argentina and Uraguay, Colorado, Florida, Georgia and Alabama by the end of the year. Fingers 🤞 Egypt next year. Life is to be lived! I'm starting now.

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Bill Vann's avatar

You're so right. Play while you can.

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Nancy Stordahl's avatar

Hi Julia,

I'm sorry to hear about your friend. Ovarian cancer can be so brutal. And sneaky. Hopefully, her treatment will be effective.

"Health isn’t guaranteed. Longevity isn’t either." Truth. We all know it. And yet...

Post-cancer diagnosis, I try to control what I can. Of course, I wasn't living recklessly before either. Much of it is bad luck. In my case, a gene mutation was involved. I try not to beat myself up for whatever unknown factor(s) played a role in my case.

Thank you for the reminder that we are promised nothing. Not even one hour from now. (That's a scary thought)

I plan to keep trying to live my best life.

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JULIA HUBBEL's avatar

It’s hard to stay so present but honestly, it’s a gift to be asked to constantly be grateful for this very moment.

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Kathryn's avatar

Once again, I am you in so many ways.

Thank you for giving me an echo of my own experience.

Namaste 💜

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Dominus Owen Markham's avatar

I resonate with this, massively. I am 65, and have noted some "changes", though my brain still says I am in my twenties, my physical shite kinda says, "maybe not"...and to quote: "What are you doing with the time you are given?", I am at a stage where I am working on that more than ever.

All the best

Dominus Owen Markham x

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