I love Beryl too - I once bought 30 copies of West With The Night and gave one to anyone who said they hadn't read it yet. I wish Charlize Theron would buy the rights and be the star!
Omigod. She would be perfect. Out of Africa only gave her a perfunctory nod as the character "Felicia," when to give her the real acknowledgement would have eclipsed Karen Blixen. She was amazing .
Oh yeah I loved to tell people that the movie Out of Africa, good as it was, contains a whole movie - a whole world - in that one little interaction where she sees Blix at the club with Felicia.
Yes!! Dare I say that there's different kinds of wisdom, too? Life comes at us and teaches us differently. I've so much to learn as well as so much to teach. Thank you for this!
Thanks Ren, and thank you. Each of us carries a different kind of fertile ground. Some lessons I didn't get until sixty, some I'm, still waiting on. May never get. Wish I had gotten. All I can do is stay porous.
Wisdom doesn't just fall on you!! We earn it. And...it just IS NOT available too early in life.
We must not pretend anything. A good amount of bravery is necessary for wisdom to arise. Thank you for your bravery, Julia.
As one of us, the very brave and wonderful, Bonnie Bainbridge Cohen has said many times: "If we want to learn anything we need to stop thinking we know something,"
Ha ha! Yes, damn it is basically what I feel too!! As I sit here this morning and just play with it a bit more, I do notice there is a wonderful vast release into freedom in those very fleeting moments when not knowing anything is real.
An old mentor of mine— one of those VERY rare people who always saw truth— once said, we all know the underlying truth. Moment by moment we—as she said— reconstitute our personal selves and blur out what is much larger and more comfortable underneath it all.
Me nearly one whole lifetime later: "Great! Thanks. Will do!" (Ha!)
This is such a powerful piece. One I will return to again. Our wisdom is born in us, from us and it takes time to LIVE from that. An accumulation of love and sorrow that marinates.
Thank you, Julia. This piece really stirred up something in me (as I approach my 46th bday). The best may be yet to come. 💖
I so appreciate, and I mean this with my entire being, Kim, the inspiration from your challenge. It was both a force of nature question and an invitation to ask some very hard questions. I also got a lot of responses that I didn't see coming. What a terrific gauntlet. It really allowed me to go deeply, and appreciate more fully the path that I've gotten to walk, and further appreciate that frankly I didn't much appreciate how long it took, either. What a wonderful community here.
The question I asked is for research I'm doing for an article I'm currently writing, as I wanted to hear from more. I will share the essay once it's done, along with the answers I received and a link to your post as well :) I so enjoyed reading what you had to say, and I know many others will, too.
I'm not sure if any woman truly knows herself until she goes through the menopause, it certainly changed my mindset, not just my body. I don't know why anybody so young is looking for answers on how to live life, there's no text book, the fun is in learning as you go along.
Julia, I loved LOVED this manifesto, it made me want to skydive myself! I needed to hear this with my 64th birthday around the corner, to see the ABUNDANCE of life and not SCARCITY dictated by the number of years left to me--no one knows the answer to that, so we might as well live with gusto NOW. I love every one of your essays but this one really fired me up. Thank you for being you Julia!
I don't know where you live, Amy, but I wholeheartedly suggest taking on a skydive. Most of us never go beyond a tandem, but at least you'd have done it, and it would be worth it. Skydiving is vastly safer than driving (your jumpmaster isn't texting or putting on makeup) and it really does change your perspective about yourself. I'm a fan ! Thank you for all the kind words. Enjoy Oregon!
YES to all this. Beautiful beautiful piece as ever. I kept highlight bits I wanted to quote back to you, then realised it was the whole damn thing so gave up. As ever you have perfectly encapsulated a hunch I’ve felt for a long time - that life gets better as you get older simply because you’ve been through more shit and have more reference points. And I realise now I’m only at the starting get of that process in mid-40s. So rather than panic at all I’ve not achieved (that bullshit society tells us we need to have done by 35 for some bizarre reason), I can be excited about the future. Thank you for this very timely reminder and an entirely gorgeous read. Bookmarking to come back to… bravo to your hard-won wisdom.
Back atcha, Annie. Thanks for all the kind words. Every time I see something that begs for a shortcut I get reminded how much I have learned to embrace and value the pain and effort invested in my journey. A shortcut is a cheat-I know it appeals, but man, on the other side of that work, it's worth it.
I have to say it again after I posted my comment on your note: This is your tour de force! So many gems here, each to be savored again and again. It's so true that wisdom and freedom must be earned, often through tears, sweat and blood.
This is my absolute favorite of all: "Mourning takes years. It’s the process that teaches us to walk through life with pain, loss, bouts of depression, and failed hopes and dreams so that we can make new ones.
You and I cannot hurry sacred work."
My Chinese name is a homophone of "smooth road." My life is anything but. That in itself has taught me a hard lesson--that to become mature, wise and emancipated from my own mental prison, I must walk through the rugged path all on my own, no matter how many heartbreaks, failures and losses it takes. No shortcuts. It's also like the fermentation process... eventually it produces nutrients that are beneficial.
BRAVO JULIA! You nailed it on this one. It has been said that folks in their 70's are the happiest and enjoying life the most (there is research on this I just don't know where I read it) and I believe it's for the exact reasons you listed here.
Donna, I keep hearing from women much older than we are and they say the same thing. It really does get better, albeit things might be creaky, our brains and hearts don't need to be!
That was an amazing book and I nearly memorized it. I ran into the title again recently. I was all of seven when I got it, and I inhaled the story. What a heroine she was...and it was a true story. Bare weeks after she was "rescured," she died of dysentery like all her relatives who were moved to the mainland to missionaries. Don't get me started....
Thank you, totally agree. Couldn’t help the smile etch across my face, your affirmation re the hard work and the wisdom coming from the lived experience. Your advice re learning to love the problems, thank you. At 58, my hard work as enabled myself to fully harness the inner child, for she too came on this journey and has waited patiently to express herself again, through the eyes of this grateful elder woman.
Yes, quite a journey and l am only getting going too. I am totally embracing this stage of my life, my 50s have certainly afforded me the getting of wisdom! 🤦♀️😂🤗. I have become a better listener, to my intuition and for others, as they navigate the confines of cultural conditioning. As you say, they too have to experience it, no short cuts.
It certainly does! I have started posting some of my learning on my Substack, for the purposes of sharing in a safe space. I appreciate the encouragement, thanks.
Yes, there are no shortcuts to wisdom and you cannot hurry up sacred work, Why would you want to anyway? Some of the best part is getting there, not necessarily arriving. Remember what's been said, and experienced, thousands of times, "It's about the journey, not the destination." The original quote, the other way around, "It's not the destination, it's the journey" is from Ralph Waldo Emerson. I consider Emerson among the wisest so we're in good company there.
Amen. Honestly one of the greatest gifts of aging is precisely this. I wished for a lot of things. Now I am deeply grateful for all the hard stuff. Without all that, I couldn't be who I get to be now, as flawed as that may be, but still, what a life.
I love Beryl too - I once bought 30 copies of West With The Night and gave one to anyone who said they hadn't read it yet. I wish Charlize Theron would buy the rights and be the star!
Omigod. She would be perfect. Out of Africa only gave her a perfunctory nod as the character "Felicia," when to give her the real acknowledgement would have eclipsed Karen Blixen. She was amazing .
Oh yeah I loved to tell people that the movie Out of Africa, good as it was, contains a whole movie - a whole world - in that one little interaction where she sees Blix at the club with Felicia.
Loved this thought-provoking piece. It’s all right on target & a great reminder for us.
Thanks so much Tina. I have to remind myself, hell yeah!
Yes!! Dare I say that there's different kinds of wisdom, too? Life comes at us and teaches us differently. I've so much to learn as well as so much to teach. Thank you for this!
Thanks Ren, and thank you. Each of us carries a different kind of fertile ground. Some lessons I didn't get until sixty, some I'm, still waiting on. May never get. Wish I had gotten. All I can do is stay porous.
This is so good! Thank you, Julia!
Wisdom doesn't just fall on you!! We earn it. And...it just IS NOT available too early in life.
We must not pretend anything. A good amount of bravery is necessary for wisdom to arise. Thank you for your bravery, Julia.
As one of us, the very brave and wonderful, Bonnie Bainbridge Cohen has said many times: "If we want to learn anything we need to stop thinking we know something,"
That's very Socratic, Patty. The less I think I know something, the more easily I learn how true that really is. Well, damn it.
Ha ha! Yes, damn it is basically what I feel too!! As I sit here this morning and just play with it a bit more, I do notice there is a wonderful vast release into freedom in those very fleeting moments when not knowing anything is real.
An old mentor of mine— one of those VERY rare people who always saw truth— once said, we all know the underlying truth. Moment by moment we—as she said— reconstitute our personal selves and blur out what is much larger and more comfortable underneath it all.
Me nearly one whole lifetime later: "Great! Thanks. Will do!" (Ha!)
Love this, and thanks for some great thoughts this morning, Patty
Thank you, too!! 🧡
This is such a powerful piece. One I will return to again. Our wisdom is born in us, from us and it takes time to LIVE from that. An accumulation of love and sorrow that marinates.
Thank you, Julia. This piece really stirred up something in me (as I approach my 46th bday). The best may be yet to come. 💖
Love this 👏
Beautiful. Thank you for this. There are no short cuts.
I so appreciate, and I mean this with my entire being, Kim, the inspiration from your challenge. It was both a force of nature question and an invitation to ask some very hard questions. I also got a lot of responses that I didn't see coming. What a terrific gauntlet. It really allowed me to go deeply, and appreciate more fully the path that I've gotten to walk, and further appreciate that frankly I didn't much appreciate how long it took, either. What a wonderful community here.
The question I asked is for research I'm doing for an article I'm currently writing, as I wanted to hear from more. I will share the essay once it's done, along with the answers I received and a link to your post as well :) I so enjoyed reading what you had to say, and I know many others will, too.
I love that. What a great way to get some research done!
Thank you :) https://kimkimberlin.substack.com/p/empowered-older-women
I'm not sure if any woman truly knows herself until she goes through the menopause, it certainly changed my mindset, not just my body. I don't know why anybody so young is looking for answers on how to live life, there's no text book, the fun is in learning as you go along.
That passage sure marks an incredible moment in life, Lindsey. It releases us from so very much! Thank you.
Julia, I loved LOVED this manifesto, it made me want to skydive myself! I needed to hear this with my 64th birthday around the corner, to see the ABUNDANCE of life and not SCARCITY dictated by the number of years left to me--no one knows the answer to that, so we might as well live with gusto NOW. I love every one of your essays but this one really fired me up. Thank you for being you Julia!
I don't know where you live, Amy, but I wholeheartedly suggest taking on a skydive. Most of us never go beyond a tandem, but at least you'd have done it, and it would be worth it. Skydiving is vastly safer than driving (your jumpmaster isn't texting or putting on makeup) and it really does change your perspective about yourself. I'm a fan ! Thank you for all the kind words. Enjoy Oregon!
YES to all this. Beautiful beautiful piece as ever. I kept highlight bits I wanted to quote back to you, then realised it was the whole damn thing so gave up. As ever you have perfectly encapsulated a hunch I’ve felt for a long time - that life gets better as you get older simply because you’ve been through more shit and have more reference points. And I realise now I’m only at the starting get of that process in mid-40s. So rather than panic at all I’ve not achieved (that bullshit society tells us we need to have done by 35 for some bizarre reason), I can be excited about the future. Thank you for this very timely reminder and an entirely gorgeous read. Bookmarking to come back to… bravo to your hard-won wisdom.
Agree 100% Annie!
Back atcha, Annie. Thanks for all the kind words. Every time I see something that begs for a shortcut I get reminded how much I have learned to embrace and value the pain and effort invested in my journey. A shortcut is a cheat-I know it appeals, but man, on the other side of that work, it's worth it.
I have to say it again after I posted my comment on your note: This is your tour de force! So many gems here, each to be savored again and again. It's so true that wisdom and freedom must be earned, often through tears, sweat and blood.
This is my absolute favorite of all: "Mourning takes years. It’s the process that teaches us to walk through life with pain, loss, bouts of depression, and failed hopes and dreams so that we can make new ones.
You and I cannot hurry sacred work."
My Chinese name is a homophone of "smooth road." My life is anything but. That in itself has taught me a hard lesson--that to become mature, wise and emancipated from my own mental prison, I must walk through the rugged path all on my own, no matter how many heartbreaks, failures and losses it takes. No shortcuts. It's also like the fermentation process... eventually it produces nutrients that are beneficial.
So glad to see your writing lifted here, and I loved your comment, Louisa! No hurrying the sacred work, as you and I both know so well.
Thanks so much, Amy! Yes, the sacred work takes time, which is why I often spend time in silence, brewing... fermenting... cocooning.
That's your article's heart right there, Louisa. Thanks for the kind words, but you just wrote the beating heart of your next piece.
Agreed, Julia!
❤ Heartfelt thanks for your inspiration ❤
BRAVO JULIA! You nailed it on this one. It has been said that folks in their 70's are the happiest and enjoying life the most (there is research on this I just don't know where I read it) and I believe it's for the exact reasons you listed here.
Donna, I keep hearing from women much older than we are and they say the same thing. It really does get better, albeit things might be creaky, our brains and hearts don't need to be!
So true. So awesome!
Yes, yes, YES. There is no shortcut on the path to becoming real. Just ask the Velveteen Rabbit (who, if you ask me, should have been female).
I still haven't read that...instead of that book my mother bought me this book which had a profound effect on my life:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Island_of_the_Blue_Dolphins
That makes total sense, come to think of it.
That was an amazing book and I nearly memorized it. I ran into the title again recently. I was all of seven when I got it, and I inhaled the story. What a heroine she was...and it was a true story. Bare weeks after she was "rescured," she died of dysentery like all her relatives who were moved to the mainland to missionaries. Don't get me started....
Thank you, totally agree. Couldn’t help the smile etch across my face, your affirmation re the hard work and the wisdom coming from the lived experience. Your advice re learning to love the problems, thank you. At 58, my hard work as enabled myself to fully harness the inner child, for she too came on this journey and has waited patiently to express herself again, through the eyes of this grateful elder woman.
Thanks so very much Simone. It really is quite the journey, isn't it? And for so many of us late in life, heavens, we're just getting going!
Yes, quite a journey and l am only getting going too. I am totally embracing this stage of my life, my 50s have certainly afforded me the getting of wisdom! 🤦♀️😂🤗. I have become a better listener, to my intuition and for others, as they navigate the confines of cultural conditioning. As you say, they too have to experience it, no short cuts.
The long way teaches us so well Simone. Write about all of it! let's share what we've learned!
It certainly does! I have started posting some of my learning on my Substack, for the purposes of sharing in a safe space. I appreciate the encouragement, thanks.
Yes, there are no shortcuts to wisdom and you cannot hurry up sacred work, Why would you want to anyway? Some of the best part is getting there, not necessarily arriving. Remember what's been said, and experienced, thousands of times, "It's about the journey, not the destination." The original quote, the other way around, "It's not the destination, it's the journey" is from Ralph Waldo Emerson. I consider Emerson among the wisest so we're in good company there.
Amen. Honestly one of the greatest gifts of aging is precisely this. I wished for a lot of things. Now I am deeply grateful for all the hard stuff. Without all that, I couldn't be who I get to be now, as flawed as that may be, but still, what a life.