so many kinds of love brought out in your essay, Julia, as for me, this being single business is foreign and unappreciated, but my own doing so until I make my way back home to find my later life woman. my camera and i enjoy our time together in the forest.
why, yes, Julia, we DO have times alone and as far as I'm concerned, it sux! I have never been without a woman until I made the decision to do a grandfather stint for a few years in Chicago. I decided to be with the grands and bond with them while young; a decision I don't regret. But these women here are not my cup of tea; tried a few times, it ain't a happening thing. When I head home next year, I'll find myself a lady to my liking and until then, NO WOMAN!
I'm happily in love with my spouse, yet I'm clear that everything you say here is capital-T true. We're sold such a crock when it comes to romantic love. I shall herewith quote, entirely without permission, a six-word story that I believe was written by Margaret Atwood: "Longed for him. Got him. Shit."
This is gospel to me as a never married childless person (I’m embracing identifying as a straight up spinster). Although lately when I answer “no” to all the usual questions about hubs and kids, I’m getting far less “oh poor you” face and more “good for you”.
You can be ‘single’ too when your husband is vanishing in illness, he wishing he was no longer here - you wishing the same for him, but trying to deal with that guilt. Especially when you want to live, live, live a life you can clearly see, and he probably wants that for you too - but only sort of. Oooh dear….
This is as true, but with its own heartbreak, Georgia, as being trapped in a loveless marriage. Both are beyond my pay grade as I've not lived those experiences but I can absolutely understand. I have readers who have become caregivers, which changes everything late in life. And I cannot even imagine.
Reading this reminded me of a random movie I found on (maybe) Netflix over the weekend. It's called "I'll see you in my dreams." Here's the trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F1VbBOTXzfI&t=1s
It actually wasn't what I expected. There are a few twists throughout and it's a beautiful story of human (and dog) relationships. Oh, you also know I'm the one who would choose dogs lol. But if you like a good laugh and cry at the same time, you'll enjoy that movie. It's a pretty accurate display of what relationshipping probably looks like in your age group.
I gotta wonder if relationshipping (love that) is across the board, as younger folks opt out of marriage, return to meeting in person, eschew kids (cost of housing, anyone?). Those options have always been there, we've always utilized them but I'm not sure we looked at them with such a clear eye, no matter the generation. What is sad about too many of us is that once married, we drop our friends, and our friends are the safety net and sanity system we need when marriage goes awry.
Oh yes I've had many friends choose men over friendship and it sucks. I do have one longtime friend who is single. We have a deal to retire together in the same house and just adopt a bunch of dogs 😁
I really needed this today. I'm 59 and recently diagnosed autistic/ADHD. I'm in recovery (AGAIN!) from an alcohol relapse. I made the mistake of asking out a women I met at a support group for autistic adults--two days ago. She seemed so cool. 30-hours in, the mask dropped. Not a nice person underneath. And, here I am, a 59-year-old man crying over a woman--again. Attracting the same kind of person--again! Yikes. I love the idea that there are different kinds of love. That gives me some hope.
so many kinds of love brought out in your essay, Julia, as for me, this being single business is foreign and unappreciated, but my own doing so until I make my way back home to find my later life woman. my camera and i enjoy our time together in the forest.
We have times alone, David, mine is extended into decades, so the lessons are important. Not what I thought would happen but it is what I got.
why, yes, Julia, we DO have times alone and as far as I'm concerned, it sux! I have never been without a woman until I made the decision to do a grandfather stint for a few years in Chicago. I decided to be with the grands and bond with them while young; a decision I don't regret. But these women here are not my cup of tea; tried a few times, it ain't a happening thing. When I head home next year, I'll find myself a lady to my liking and until then, NO WOMAN!
I so appreciate the power in your writing. The words leap out of my phone.
Pardon my delayed reply, John. I so appreciate your kind words.
There are, indeed, many loves in life. Pay attention! You don't want to miss any of it.
That is so very true!
I'm happily in love with my spouse, yet I'm clear that everything you say here is capital-T true. We're sold such a crock when it comes to romantic love. I shall herewith quote, entirely without permission, a six-word story that I believe was written by Margaret Atwood: "Longed for him. Got him. Shit."
Be careful what ask for, right? I have the same story...I got what asked for and regretted it almost instantly.
This is gospel to me as a never married childless person (I’m embracing identifying as a straight up spinster). Although lately when I answer “no” to all the usual questions about hubs and kids, I’m getting far less “oh poor you” face and more “good for you”.
I've noticed that, too. Interesting shift.
Not waiting😀loving life in all its myriad ways. Love comes in so many forms💗
amen Amyl!
You can be ‘single’ too when your husband is vanishing in illness, he wishing he was no longer here - you wishing the same for him, but trying to deal with that guilt. Especially when you want to live, live, live a life you can clearly see, and he probably wants that for you too - but only sort of. Oooh dear….
This is as true, but with its own heartbreak, Georgia, as being trapped in a loveless marriage. Both are beyond my pay grade as I've not lived those experiences but I can absolutely understand. I have readers who have become caregivers, which changes everything late in life. And I cannot even imagine.
Reading this reminded me of a random movie I found on (maybe) Netflix over the weekend. It's called "I'll see you in my dreams." Here's the trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F1VbBOTXzfI&t=1s
It actually wasn't what I expected. There are a few twists throughout and it's a beautiful story of human (and dog) relationships. Oh, you also know I'm the one who would choose dogs lol. But if you like a good laugh and cry at the same time, you'll enjoy that movie. It's a pretty accurate display of what relationshipping probably looks like in your age group.
I gotta wonder if relationshipping (love that) is across the board, as younger folks opt out of marriage, return to meeting in person, eschew kids (cost of housing, anyone?). Those options have always been there, we've always utilized them but I'm not sure we looked at them with such a clear eye, no matter the generation. What is sad about too many of us is that once married, we drop our friends, and our friends are the safety net and sanity system we need when marriage goes awry.
Oh yes I've had many friends choose men over friendship and it sucks. I do have one longtime friend who is single. We have a deal to retire together in the same house and just adopt a bunch of dogs 😁
I really needed this today. I'm 59 and recently diagnosed autistic/ADHD. I'm in recovery (AGAIN!) from an alcohol relapse. I made the mistake of asking out a women I met at a support group for autistic adults--two days ago. She seemed so cool. 30-hours in, the mask dropped. Not a nice person underneath. And, here I am, a 59-year-old man crying over a woman--again. Attracting the same kind of person--again! Yikes. I love the idea that there are different kinds of love. That gives me some hope.
I hear you, and I know the feeling. I'm just going to focus on being in life, and see what washes ashore.
Thank you. I'm doing the same.