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Jan M. Flynn's avatar

Love this -- and that quote from the reader who loves her pumpkin spice lattes stuck with me too. At this point in my life I'm so grateful to have a body that functions well and has good balance and resilience that I don't care what it would look like in a bikini. Nobody else does either (well, besides my husband, who thinks I look wonderful), and there is no danger of a bikini getting on my bod anyway. And while I'd love to lose 5 pounds, I recognize that's coming from my ego. On the whole, my body has been a much better friend to me than my ego, so body wins :-)

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JULIA HUBBEL's avatar

Perfectly said, Jan. And that's the whole point.

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Sheila (of Ephemera)'s avatar

That is a very wise comment, and thank you for sharing it.💕

I f*cking HATE pumpkin anything. I was born on Canadian Thanksgiving (it’s in October) and loathed having pumpkin pie every year. Yuck.

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JULIA HUBBEL's avatar

I used to love the smell. Now it's so cloying I despise it. Pumpkin spice dog food? WHAT? We don't know when to stop already.

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Katie-Ellen Hazeldine's avatar

Odd thing. I woke up today thinking, among other things, of that poor lady, dead at her desk four days before anyone even looked in on her. What must have been her thoughts, getting up in the morning, to go and work in such a mean and joyless, soulless sh*t-hole of a place, minus contact, warmth, and even the common courtesies. She must have felt she had no choice. But when you cut loose or force the rhubarb, options have a way of making themselves visible. Life is too short. I just ate a pear. I shouldn't eat biscuits, but, should I say a mea culpa, I just ate a biscuit.

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JULIA HUBBEL's avatar

I am a fan of the rare joys when there might be some unfortunate payback (for me the Starbucks sugar bomb) but there are so many ways to feel joy. We deserve it, Katie-Ellen.

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Katie-Ellen Hazeldine's avatar

If we be not kind to ourselves, which is not the same as an excuse for limitless self indulgence, who else could trust to our kindness. Love your posts, Julia. Wise and companionable.

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JULIA HUBBEL's avatar

Many thanks. and thanks also for getting the difference. An occasional wonderfulness is not the same as constant, damaging over-undulgence wjhich is indicative of something terribly wrong. Been there. These days, my morning tea, full as it is with pure whipping cream, is my Great Big Daily Indulgence. I have learned to not need much more to be sated. Wasn't easy to get there, either.

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Debbie Weiss's avatar

I’ve been grappling with this as well, wanting to be fit and attractive but also aware of enjoying life as well. I get very cranky when I deprive myself of cookies. I’ve been balancing, saying yes to treats but also to fitness stuff that I enjoy like hiking and yoga. And basically just being kinder to myself…that’s probably the best thing I can do as a writer and a human.

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JULIA HUBBEL's avatar

It's a battle for me, too. I'd like to treat myself more often but right now, to get my numbers where they need to be, I've got to give up quite a few things and wait until after Silly Season to reintroduce them and see what I'm allowed. That said, part of my retraining is to think of treats as not just food, and boy is that a challenge. My mind goes straight to chocolate.

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Kate Sykes's avatar

Oh goodness, this one hit me. How many Septembers do I have left? How many Sunday night dinners? How many op-shopping trips with my Mum? This could not have come at a better time. No-one else thinks about my ever-expanding middle, why should I?! And my good health isn't contingent on thinner, there are myriad other things.

Spring in the southern hemisphere is a glorious burst of colour, which starts for me each day with a reminder on my phone at 6.00am that flashes: It's S*E*P*T*E*M*B*E*R! Just as a little pick me up at the start of the day! Each day is a reminder we are heading out of the cold and dark and into the warmth. I am just enjoying it day by day...

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JULIA HUBBEL's avatar

I spent four wondrous years under the Southern Cross, and remember the feeling of joy in spring in the one month I expected to be pulling out the heavy boots. I came to love it. So I keep my awareness that not all of us are celebrating fall!

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Marlo Leaman's avatar

Not a pumpkin fan, but a fan of things that bring me JOY! I've been reminded this week again as the universe speaks that we don't know how many more autumns we have, so, ba-bye, heading for a walk to go grab my favorite coffee on this beautiful day. Thanks!

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JULIA HUBBEL's avatar

My close friend and I just did the same thing on the Oregon Coast. I’m snacking on crostini. I’ll pay for it later…big time…but once in a while won’t kill me off.

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Beth L. Gainer's avatar

Julia, what a terrific, insightful post. I also was touched and inspired by that reader who was going to get herself a pumpkin drink. We live in a driven culture and, unfortunately, corporate America only looks at workers as cogs in a wheel, only caring about employees' output. So many of us push ourselves beyond our limits, and this is unhealthy and unsustainable mentally and physically. I've unfortunately spent so much time employed by businesses that killed the joy out of me.

But no more. Every week, I take the time to oil paint, which gives me unsurmountable joy. I make sure that, no matter how much work I have, I always make time for creating art. Like many, I am trying to lose a bit of weight, but I do it without sacrificing joy. An occasional treat is nice, as long as it doesn't become constant. Also, exercising is another way to give one's body joy.

Thank you for this post!

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JULIA HUBBEL's avatar

I get this, Beth, it's something marvelous when we live with permission to have joy.

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Sue Fagalde Lick's avatar

Another good one. I'm not a pumpkin spice fan either. I walked the 804 Trail on the coast in Yachats yesterday. Joyfully beautiful.

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JULIA HUBBEL's avatar

Sonja and I stayed in Yachats over the weekend. We really have to meet up!

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Sheila's avatar

Absolutely!

I grew up in a home of all the fad diets and counting of numbers. Be it calories, dress sizes, meals, grams/ounces, days till the holiday/wedding/party/christmas or days on the die/till the diet starts.

I somehow side stepped that need and thankfully I am aware dieting doesn’t work. Ever.

Five and a half years ago I got sick, really sick. Doctors were chasing symptoms round my body and I was losing weight fast. I couldn’t keep meals down and dropped all those numbers, it wasn’t scary because I was too weak and was trying to survive. I remember wanting to look thin, but not because it was beautiful but because I wanted people to see on the outside how sick I was feeling on the inside.

Thankfully we found a meds combo and got me booked into surgery. When I reappeared into the world again I got so many compliments on how beautiful I looked, that I looked like a film start and looked better than before… At the time I was eating next to nothing, taking 15 pills a day and awaiting what would be two surgeries. I was the sickest I’ve ever been in my life.

Ever since I’m conscious when people lose weight I ask if they’re okay, weight loss isn’t always healthy (mentally or physically!).

So now I can have the coffee ☕️ I do! And I enjoy every single sip. Grateful that I can drink the coffee, that I’m well enough to. Having had it taken away I have a lot of appreciation for what I can eat and I savour it.

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JULIA HUBBEL's avatar

I would love to quote you. Please advise. This is terrific.

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Sheila's avatar

I found you asking, I’m glad you used it and went ahead to write another fantastic piece. Catching up with my inbox I always save yours and not skim and delete.

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It’s never too late's avatar

I'm sat here looking at the pack of butter on the worktop in my kitchen. It's sat there for two days. I've been resisting using it to make a cake. There's just me. I'd end up eating the whole thing. But the process of making the cake and of course eating it gives me great joy. I could trip over the cat, hit my head on the side of the coffee table and be no more so I'll make the cake and enjoy every little morsel that passes my lips because you don't know when you will eat that last slice of lemon drizzle.

But in future, I might leave the butter in the fridge or wait for a time when I can share the cake

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JULIA HUBBEL's avatar

Well said, Brigitte. I'm all for the discipline it takes to take care of our aging bodies but I am no longer all in for being so damned stoic that have zero joy in the process.

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Carol A Haase's avatar

Will be the same age next month. Good to recognize limitations and what helps us feel better, also. Love your writing. All so true, and my experience as well… and living in Texas, but not dwelling there!

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JULIA HUBBEL's avatar

Thank you, Carol!

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Michelle Lindblom's avatar

I love fall, always been my favorite season because of the amazing colors, especially here in Oregon. The coast in the fall is also beautiful because there are fewer tourists and the weather can be unpredictable which I like.

I’m with you, pumpkin spice drinks are way too sweet, but candles, now that’s something I enjoy; bringing the smells of fall indoors.

Walking in fall is one of the many joys I revel in because of the full on sensory experience.

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JULIA HUBBEL's avatar

Yesterday the coast was out of this world gorgeous.

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Susan K's avatar

What a perfect stack! Thank you. I’m going to put the cream in my coffee and relax

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JULIA HUBBEL's avatar

I did the same. As long as I mind my limits, that looks like self-love.

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Wendy Martin's avatar

I treat myself with a McDonalds coke when I am driving over one hour. I love the fizziness. Due to medication I take I can’t drink. I don’t like coffee. Everyone, everyone tells me it is bad for me, it will take years off my life. You mean the extra years I’ll be spending in a nursing home? No thank you. Extra large, regular coke, please.

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Scapegoat Healing Rebecca LMFT's avatar

Precisely why I made gluten-free pumpkin, cranberry raisin, sliced almonds, monk fruit sweetened chocolate chip, oatmeal cookies this weekend, delicious! I'll save a couple for you, hopefully we can meet up Wednesday!

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TP's avatar

To die at your work desk, tragic. To not be noticed for days horrific.

I did a coaching session recently and was asked to look ahead 10 years. For some reason, thankfully, this really resonated with me.

In 10 years I will be 73 years of age (Goddesses willing I live and am in good health). I don't have time to wallow, beat myself up, work like crazy for my pension and bills.

I am doing my best every day to notice joy and really live better. 💕

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