Witnessing violence like that — especially against someone vulnerable, and even more, someone vulnerable with whom you have any kind of personal relationship — is shattering. I commend you for being able to form such an articulate response so quickly. Your reactions were measured, wise, appropriate. And your emotions, including your fury, are entirely justified and understandable. But holy shit, this is one of those situations that makes me wish I could shapeshift into a buffed, 230-lb man and do the Jack Reacher thing all over that bully's @$$ . . . then I take a breath. You're so right: we have no idea what demons bedevil the man who assaulted your friend, yet knowing that doesn't change the fact that he's dangerous. Nor does it change the reality that, no matter who we hope to be when a situation like that arises, we can't know until it happens. I've done some stupidly heroic stuff when triggered by seeing someone vulnerable in danger from a raging man (yep, that triggers me) but also some pretty cowardly things when I was good and scared. I can only hope that age has given me the discernment and presence of mind you showed in this incident. But I won't know until I'm tested in that way.
You so beautifully articulated the conundrum- and yes, Jack Reacher came to mind. We really have to be careful, Jan; we can end up in terrible distress ourselves if someone is on a rampage. Thank you for your kind words. I honestly felt such white-hot anger but at the same time the "holy shit, this guy is BIG" realization that I'd be a gnat fart in a hurricane against that testosterone-fueled rage.
Witnessing violence like that — especially against someone vulnerable, and even more, someone vulnerable with whom you have any kind of personal relationship — is shattering. I commend you for being able to form such an articulate response so quickly. Your reactions were measured, wise, appropriate. And your emotions, including your fury, are entirely justified and understandable. But holy shit, this is one of those situations that makes me wish I could shapeshift into a buffed, 230-lb man and do the Jack Reacher thing all over that bully's @$$ . . . then I take a breath. You're so right: we have no idea what demons bedevil the man who assaulted your friend, yet knowing that doesn't change the fact that he's dangerous. Nor does it change the reality that, no matter who we hope to be when a situation like that arises, we can't know until it happens. I've done some stupidly heroic stuff when triggered by seeing someone vulnerable in danger from a raging man (yep, that triggers me) but also some pretty cowardly things when I was good and scared. I can only hope that age has given me the discernment and presence of mind you showed in this incident. But I won't know until I'm tested in that way.
You so beautifully articulated the conundrum- and yes, Jack Reacher came to mind. We really have to be careful, Jan; we can end up in terrible distress ourselves if someone is on a rampage. Thank you for your kind words. I honestly felt such white-hot anger but at the same time the "holy shit, this guy is BIG" realization that I'd be a gnat fart in a hurricane against that testosterone-fueled rage.
"A gnat fart in a hurricane" -- HA! That describes so much of my anger. So yep, the carefully considered but relentless approach is best.
thank you so much Julia,nice to know there is still good people out there