Brilliant read, thanks for persevering in the challenges in writing it all for our benefit🙏
I’ve only ever seen one neurologist site our “inability to regulate emotions” as one root cause to migraine disease. It was all I needed to go hell for leather in proving that if this was a known root cause then surely the opposite was the solution.
The result? It took me further in my healing journey than is medically believed possible. I mean, c’mon people 🙃🙃🙃🙃 no, it’s not easy. But it is possible. You know what else is harder? Living with debilitating symptoms and a pain so severe you either feel Like you’re dying or you wish you were dead. And we need to (or will greatly benefit from) open up to the explore the difference between the options and be educated to understand that we actually have some. More than we realise.
I also love how you discuss age, hallelujah ! If I hear “it’s our age” one more time….!
I’m 44 and my body tells me it feels 30. I look and feel younger than my years. I’ve never - in my entire adult life - enjoyed wellness to the extent I do now. And I’ve also never been as true to my authentic self as I am now. And I wonder at the connection between the two?
I want to know more about the migraine piece. I've had them since 1973 and while I've found a med that works, there is no question in my mind at all that emotional issues and severe anxiety are the root cause. Thanks for the kind words!
Awww I’m so pleased this speaks to you and helps you to align with what you know to be true ! 🙏🦋✨
I write about my migraine journey over on warrior within and have shared a few recent posts on responses, the nervous system and trauma and I’m writing a few books to share this kind of message far and wide🙂
I’d love to connect, if you have any questions ask away.
This is one heck of a well-written, informative, and mind-blowing article. The emotional component is huge. And you really got me with Tina Turner, my all-time favorite since I was a kid. This gives me a lot to think about moving forward... and releasing stress and anger must be the first addressed. Thank you for writing this painful subject.
Here here! You’ve highlighted many things that I discovered on my illness to wellness journey.
The healthcare system is for emergencies, which is great, but we shouldn’t turn to it for health.
I totally agree with looking at your body’s numbers and working with a specialist! There’s so much crap out there, especially with social media, that can convince you that the latest diet or pills are for you.
I especially think supplements need to be advised on by an expert, no point downing all these supplements if your gut health is bad. Or you don’t even need it!
I think we have lost a lot of our intuition when it comes to eating, I found that I was craving meat before my bloods showed I was low on iron. I’ve now learned to listen to that too.
Good luck with the adoption! We’ve just adopted a greyhound and I can confirm it was a fabulous idea. We chose greyhounds for their nature but also there’s a big problem in Spain with them being abandoned or badly treated. We chose our pooch on her affectionate but hilarious character 💚🐾
Part of what is so sad about medical care is that while the VA, for example, pounds the prevention topic, when you show up asking for then demanding then SCREAMING for the right specialists, you get stonewalled. Had I not fought hard, I'd have ended up with renal failure. That is a sick system. We have to be our own best advocates.
We are our best advocates! I completely agree! I grew up with the culture of respect the doctor, even if you disagreed with them, their decision was right. I have since learnt that I can respectfully disagree and know more about my health condition than they do.
I hear a lot of women experiencing not being heard. I think sexism has a big part to play in it, but also, for whatever reasons (I could write for a long time about it) women are more likely to have chronic health conditions.
If there are any men that happen to read this and have experienced what we’re talking about, I’d love to hear from you.
I’m very glad you fought hard and with us today. Makes me wonder how many people didn’t have a voice that have been lost…
this is a huge part of the equation, Sheila. Women's emotions, pain and reality have been dismissed for aeons. To wit: I am a hemophiliac. Two doctors called me "hsyterical" until I nearly bled to death on both of them. They were all apologies later, but it would have been far better if the bastards had listened in the first place .
I just shake my head at this, wow. Even something as black and white as being haemophiliac is being ignored, this is shocking. My knowledge and experience is mainly in chronic pain or fatigue, less cuantificable but very much real, are easily dismissed. But if something so testable is being dismissed as hysteria then it’s worse than I thought!
Ayyy I failed to mention emotions!!!!! When my body crashed and burned I knew I was at crisis point and I needed to start the therapy consistently and with vigour. I’m now on the edge of taking a career break to get that cortisol down and deal with all the health traumas I’ve dealt with over the last 5 years. I need a full reset 💚
It's so wonderful that you're getting a dog. Loneliness can be such a terrible stressor, but unfortunately if we're traumatized or hurt, many of us tend to withdraw from companionship. I hope the trial run goes well!
Well she's a darling, but still a puppy, and voicing her displeasure about being crated her first night . I never had a baby, but this is very similar, my guess!
Julia, thank you for so vulnerably and helpfully and powerfully, I would add, sharing your own health experiences especially from the perspective of how emotions and relationships are linked to poor health outcomes. And how delightful to get to the end and read about you adopting Mika. What a sweetheart! She sounds like the best medicine of all.
I have been able to do so much with my health, AND. As I've aged into my seventies, I am now seeing where the eating disorders and that last relationship of 15 years did a lot of damage, especially the relationship. I have had several people on different platforms complain to me that it feels as though I'm coming from a high hatted place, or that I'm saying that all they hafta do is X, when that is hardly the case. I do bang the drum about food and exercise and all the rest, because had I not done those things, I really would have been planted a long time ago. I'm not selling snake oil, Amy. Everything I write about first and foremost applies to me. But I can understand how people can feel as though society is punishing them for not being Ms. Olympia.
Great read. I hope that you and Mika work out and that she likes to cuddle (and hug you…I had a lab-German shepherd cross who wanted to hug everyone he met some years ago; his name was Pip).
I'll post pix soon. She's already taken over the brand new dog bed in my office. And yes, she's a cuddler. She may well end up big enough to take over the couch.
Thank's for the honest and detailed description of health issues. So important to stress how each of us are different. I have finally gotten more assertive, after too many situations over the decades where I wasn't and was damaged because of it. Even the specialists didn't serve me well because they thought they knew what was going on, even thought non of them had ever encountered anyone with my particular rare underlying chronic problem called Sheehan's Syndrome. I am better as pushing for answers, and I have been better at figuring out the importance of having a primary care doctor who doesn't think she knows everything and will work with me to find answers. Doesn't mean I don't have health issues, but I feel as if I am in much better shape to deal with them. And yes, a nutritionist, I worked with helped tremendously! As a long time vegetarian, who can not longer tolerate all most of the usual sources of protein because they come with a level of carbs I can't handle, her suggestions on how to make sure I got sufficient protein with each meal were very important. Again, thanks for taking the time to write something that I know wasn't easy for you.
Thanks so much. I think it's a real challenge to find health partners these days, especially after Covid. I have a female nurse practitioner and that helps a great deal. It also takes time to develop that relationship so that you trust each other. Turnover can make that very difficult. Thanks for commenting, Louisa.
Thank you for this article. And, yes, it is those silent below the surface health issues attempting to get our attention that should give us pause. At sixty-five, I am becoming more aware of those signs. But it's difficult because I've always been in such good health and thus easily denied some of those signs. Appreciate the links you provided.
May Mika prove to be the canine companion who is your perfect partner, and may you both soothe one another's souls. But if not, there'll be another dog for you, so don't beat yourself up (as I have done!) if you and Mika turn out not to be a match. I am so sorry you're encountering health challenges in the meantime; it's not fair and despite whatever you've done/haven't done/controlled/over-controlled, it's not your fault. I know you know that. But it's so easy to blame ourselves or look for something we could have done differently — and maybe we could have, but that train has sailed — when the truth is that we're fragile, mortal, perishable beings and it's kind of amazing that our weird human bodies manage to survive in our unforgiving world as long as they often do. May you be well, happy, and at peace in your heart -- and may you keep on playing.
Jan, I am beyond grateful at this point that I didn't plant myself years ago. It would also be foolish to think that all those years of disordered eating hadn't left a trail of damage of some sort. The better habits have helped a great deal but I suspect we still have to play whack a mole as we age. I have a great deal of faith that I'll be fine, not perfect, but able to roll with whatever the waves drop at my feet. As long as I keep laughing!
Familial history is also important if it's accessible. According to the CDC, cancer is the #2 killer of both men and women. I know from my husband's cancer diagnosis and death that genes play a large role in our risk for the disease. Yes, there are other factors, but a healthy diet alone does not make one immune. There's also a false narrative that sugar "feeds" cancer because it's used to "light up" cancer cells on pet scans. Not only is this victim blaming, it just isn't true that too much sugar, in and of itself, causes cancer to grow and spread. Cancer does tend to target fatty areas in the body (breast, pancreatic, lung, prostate, colon make up 50% of all cancers), so if ingesting too much sugar causes one to gain weight, those excess fat cells may play a role in a cancer diagnosis. However, there are several genes associated with cancer, and genetic testing of tumors is often done to see if there are targeted or immunotherapies which may prove to be a more successful alone or in tandem with traditional chemotherapies and/or radiation. Knowledge is power, so it's important to get yearly physicals, and other tests based on age or family history. There are many things we can do to remain active and healthy as we age, but it's foolish to think that eating a plant based diet, (or any other diet) alone will insure a long and healthy life.
I had to add to this. The other night I watched The Judge, which garnered Robert Duvall an Oscar. In it he succumbs to some kind of gut cancer, which his doctor says happened because the judge flat refused to undergo the scopes necessary. It was a very difficult movie to watch because it really does deal unflinchingly with the results of chemo on an aging body, and the need for those around us to love us enough to not be squeamish and accept our intense vulnerability and humanness as we age and parts of us fail. I know this touches you directly, Amy, which is why I share it. This really is terrifying stuff, and I am regularly reminded about our back and forth below on this, that there is no fix, no sweet spot, but a constant give and take with life to do our level best.
I agree with you 100% Julia, this is terrifying stuff, but it doesn't have to be. Death is a normal part of life, but in many cultures we don't talk about it. Anything shrouded in mystery, and not to be spoken of makes it that much more frightening. We don't talk about grief either, but that makes it's so much harder and scarier too. We do each other a great disservice when we treat grief and death as "downers" or taboo topics. I have found a lot of comfort by following Hospice Nurse Julie on Instagram, in addition to my widow grief groups. Finding community is so important especially because grief and death already cause such loneliness. Thank you for your thoughtful responses. I feel this conversation is a step in the right direction.
I've seen the articles about sugar and cancer, and frankly for me, the jury is out. I just don't know enough and the press loves to tease out a one-liner and sensationalize it. What I dislike, and a reader brought this up the other day, was the notion that we should feel ashamed because we got a major illness because we "should" have eaten this, exercised that way...just another shame fest. Sometimes it really is the luck of the draw. In my father's case, he smoked for fifty years, so we rather expected it. The longer I've lived, the more I've experimented and the more I've read, the diet that is best for OUR body- and that really does mean eight billion different versions- will be the best to help us stave off lifestyle illnesses like metabolic disease. "Help stave off" are the key words here. Even so, if we get something awful, If we work at overall health habits, we are likely to be far, far better off in our ability to survive and then recover and eventually thrive again through something terrible. Not always, but a healthier body heading into a disease is a better predictor. Nothing is absolute, and we'd be fools to believe in., as you said, a plant-based diet as THE answer. There is no single answer. That's particularly true as we learn more about how plastics aren't just everywhere they are IN everybody, with outcomes that are very hard to anticipate, among other pollutions. The search for a single simple answer is a fool's journey.
Julia, I feel like I, and probably many others, are living your life. I'm about to have another birthday and aging hasn't been great! Lucky for me I look 'fine.' But my body seems to be falling apart. And I'm trying to figure it out as modern medicine hasn't been helpful. We'll persevere and we'll be well. Or at least better!
In I'm damned fortunate, Michele, in that years of decent overall diet and exercise have helped. The good news is that in such cases, the course corrections aren't major- for me, it's kill the cream, which is hard enough. Yogurt's hard but I can eat the occasional pickle. If the outcome is fewer or no kidney stones I'll take it!
Nothing more important than self-care, skilled help from others when we need it, healthy relationships and a sense of humor to see the absurd. Oh yes, sleeping well, eating well, walking, reading and meditating help too. "Forever Young" did not win the KY Derby yesterday although it's true we are younger now than we will ever be.
Brilliant read, thanks for persevering in the challenges in writing it all for our benefit🙏
I’ve only ever seen one neurologist site our “inability to regulate emotions” as one root cause to migraine disease. It was all I needed to go hell for leather in proving that if this was a known root cause then surely the opposite was the solution.
The result? It took me further in my healing journey than is medically believed possible. I mean, c’mon people 🙃🙃🙃🙃 no, it’s not easy. But it is possible. You know what else is harder? Living with debilitating symptoms and a pain so severe you either feel Like you’re dying or you wish you were dead. And we need to (or will greatly benefit from) open up to the explore the difference between the options and be educated to understand that we actually have some. More than we realise.
I also love how you discuss age, hallelujah ! If I hear “it’s our age” one more time….!
I’m 44 and my body tells me it feels 30. I look and feel younger than my years. I’ve never - in my entire adult life - enjoyed wellness to the extent I do now. And I’ve also never been as true to my authentic self as I am now. And I wonder at the connection between the two?
I want to know more about the migraine piece. I've had them since 1973 and while I've found a med that works, there is no question in my mind at all that emotional issues and severe anxiety are the root cause. Thanks for the kind words!
Awww I’m so pleased this speaks to you and helps you to align with what you know to be true ! 🙏🦋✨
I write about my migraine journey over on warrior within and have shared a few recent posts on responses, the nervous system and trauma and I’m writing a few books to share this kind of message far and wide🙂
I’d love to connect, if you have any questions ask away.
https://warriorwithin.substack.com/p/going-against-the-grain
This is one heck of a well-written, informative, and mind-blowing article. The emotional component is huge. And you really got me with Tina Turner, my all-time favorite since I was a kid. This gives me a lot to think about moving forward... and releasing stress and anger must be the first addressed. Thank you for writing this painful subject.
And that is very kind of you. I really appreciate the kind words. It wasn't easy, but boy did I learn a lot. Always the best out come.
Here here! You’ve highlighted many things that I discovered on my illness to wellness journey.
The healthcare system is for emergencies, which is great, but we shouldn’t turn to it for health.
I totally agree with looking at your body’s numbers and working with a specialist! There’s so much crap out there, especially with social media, that can convince you that the latest diet or pills are for you.
I especially think supplements need to be advised on by an expert, no point downing all these supplements if your gut health is bad. Or you don’t even need it!
I think we have lost a lot of our intuition when it comes to eating, I found that I was craving meat before my bloods showed I was low on iron. I’ve now learned to listen to that too.
Good luck with the adoption! We’ve just adopted a greyhound and I can confirm it was a fabulous idea. We chose greyhounds for their nature but also there’s a big problem in Spain with them being abandoned or badly treated. We chose our pooch on her affectionate but hilarious character 💚🐾
Part of what is so sad about medical care is that while the VA, for example, pounds the prevention topic, when you show up asking for then demanding then SCREAMING for the right specialists, you get stonewalled. Had I not fought hard, I'd have ended up with renal failure. That is a sick system. We have to be our own best advocates.
We are our best advocates! I completely agree! I grew up with the culture of respect the doctor, even if you disagreed with them, their decision was right. I have since learnt that I can respectfully disagree and know more about my health condition than they do.
I hear a lot of women experiencing not being heard. I think sexism has a big part to play in it, but also, for whatever reasons (I could write for a long time about it) women are more likely to have chronic health conditions.
If there are any men that happen to read this and have experienced what we’re talking about, I’d love to hear from you.
I’m very glad you fought hard and with us today. Makes me wonder how many people didn’t have a voice that have been lost…
this is a huge part of the equation, Sheila. Women's emotions, pain and reality have been dismissed for aeons. To wit: I am a hemophiliac. Two doctors called me "hsyterical" until I nearly bled to death on both of them. They were all apologies later, but it would have been far better if the bastards had listened in the first place .
I just shake my head at this, wow. Even something as black and white as being haemophiliac is being ignored, this is shocking. My knowledge and experience is mainly in chronic pain or fatigue, less cuantificable but very much real, are easily dismissed. But if something so testable is being dismissed as hysteria then it’s worse than I thought!
Ayyy I failed to mention emotions!!!!! When my body crashed and burned I knew I was at crisis point and I needed to start the therapy consistently and with vigour. I’m now on the edge of taking a career break to get that cortisol down and deal with all the health traumas I’ve dealt with over the last 5 years. I need a full reset 💚
It's so wonderful that you're getting a dog. Loneliness can be such a terrible stressor, but unfortunately if we're traumatized or hurt, many of us tend to withdraw from companionship. I hope the trial run goes well!
Well she's a darling, but still a puppy, and voicing her displeasure about being crated her first night . I never had a baby, but this is very similar, my guess!
Julia, thank you for so vulnerably and helpfully and powerfully, I would add, sharing your own health experiences especially from the perspective of how emotions and relationships are linked to poor health outcomes. And how delightful to get to the end and read about you adopting Mika. What a sweetheart! She sounds like the best medicine of all.
I have been able to do so much with my health, AND. As I've aged into my seventies, I am now seeing where the eating disorders and that last relationship of 15 years did a lot of damage, especially the relationship. I have had several people on different platforms complain to me that it feels as though I'm coming from a high hatted place, or that I'm saying that all they hafta do is X, when that is hardly the case. I do bang the drum about food and exercise and all the rest, because had I not done those things, I really would have been planted a long time ago. I'm not selling snake oil, Amy. Everything I write about first and foremost applies to me. But I can understand how people can feel as though society is punishing them for not being Ms. Olympia.
Great read. I hope that you and Mika work out and that she likes to cuddle (and hug you…I had a lab-German shepherd cross who wanted to hug everyone he met some years ago; his name was Pip).
I'll post pix soon. She's already taken over the brand new dog bed in my office. And yes, she's a cuddler. She may well end up big enough to take over the couch.
Thank's for the honest and detailed description of health issues. So important to stress how each of us are different. I have finally gotten more assertive, after too many situations over the decades where I wasn't and was damaged because of it. Even the specialists didn't serve me well because they thought they knew what was going on, even thought non of them had ever encountered anyone with my particular rare underlying chronic problem called Sheehan's Syndrome. I am better as pushing for answers, and I have been better at figuring out the importance of having a primary care doctor who doesn't think she knows everything and will work with me to find answers. Doesn't mean I don't have health issues, but I feel as if I am in much better shape to deal with them. And yes, a nutritionist, I worked with helped tremendously! As a long time vegetarian, who can not longer tolerate all most of the usual sources of protein because they come with a level of carbs I can't handle, her suggestions on how to make sure I got sufficient protein with each meal were very important. Again, thanks for taking the time to write something that I know wasn't easy for you.
Thanks so much. I think it's a real challenge to find health partners these days, especially after Covid. I have a female nurse practitioner and that helps a great deal. It also takes time to develop that relationship so that you trust each other. Turnover can make that very difficult. Thanks for commenting, Louisa.
An amazingly detailed and informative article. I relate to so much of it. Thank you!
Many thanks Nancy. Every time I do one of these I also get to learn a lot!
Thank you for this article. And, yes, it is those silent below the surface health issues attempting to get our attention that should give us pause. At sixty-five, I am becoming more aware of those signs. But it's difficult because I've always been in such good health and thus easily denied some of those signs. Appreciate the links you provided.
May Mika prove to be the canine companion who is your perfect partner, and may you both soothe one another's souls. But if not, there'll be another dog for you, so don't beat yourself up (as I have done!) if you and Mika turn out not to be a match. I am so sorry you're encountering health challenges in the meantime; it's not fair and despite whatever you've done/haven't done/controlled/over-controlled, it's not your fault. I know you know that. But it's so easy to blame ourselves or look for something we could have done differently — and maybe we could have, but that train has sailed — when the truth is that we're fragile, mortal, perishable beings and it's kind of amazing that our weird human bodies manage to survive in our unforgiving world as long as they often do. May you be well, happy, and at peace in your heart -- and may you keep on playing.
Jan, I am beyond grateful at this point that I didn't plant myself years ago. It would also be foolish to think that all those years of disordered eating hadn't left a trail of damage of some sort. The better habits have helped a great deal but I suspect we still have to play whack a mole as we age. I have a great deal of faith that I'll be fine, not perfect, but able to roll with whatever the waves drop at my feet. As long as I keep laughing!
Truth, sister, and that goes for all of us.
Familial history is also important if it's accessible. According to the CDC, cancer is the #2 killer of both men and women. I know from my husband's cancer diagnosis and death that genes play a large role in our risk for the disease. Yes, there are other factors, but a healthy diet alone does not make one immune. There's also a false narrative that sugar "feeds" cancer because it's used to "light up" cancer cells on pet scans. Not only is this victim blaming, it just isn't true that too much sugar, in and of itself, causes cancer to grow and spread. Cancer does tend to target fatty areas in the body (breast, pancreatic, lung, prostate, colon make up 50% of all cancers), so if ingesting too much sugar causes one to gain weight, those excess fat cells may play a role in a cancer diagnosis. However, there are several genes associated with cancer, and genetic testing of tumors is often done to see if there are targeted or immunotherapies which may prove to be a more successful alone or in tandem with traditional chemotherapies and/or radiation. Knowledge is power, so it's important to get yearly physicals, and other tests based on age or family history. There are many things we can do to remain active and healthy as we age, but it's foolish to think that eating a plant based diet, (or any other diet) alone will insure a long and healthy life.
I had to add to this. The other night I watched The Judge, which garnered Robert Duvall an Oscar. In it he succumbs to some kind of gut cancer, which his doctor says happened because the judge flat refused to undergo the scopes necessary. It was a very difficult movie to watch because it really does deal unflinchingly with the results of chemo on an aging body, and the need for those around us to love us enough to not be squeamish and accept our intense vulnerability and humanness as we age and parts of us fail. I know this touches you directly, Amy, which is why I share it. This really is terrifying stuff, and I am regularly reminded about our back and forth below on this, that there is no fix, no sweet spot, but a constant give and take with life to do our level best.
I agree with you 100% Julia, this is terrifying stuff, but it doesn't have to be. Death is a normal part of life, but in many cultures we don't talk about it. Anything shrouded in mystery, and not to be spoken of makes it that much more frightening. We don't talk about grief either, but that makes it's so much harder and scarier too. We do each other a great disservice when we treat grief and death as "downers" or taboo topics. I have found a lot of comfort by following Hospice Nurse Julie on Instagram, in addition to my widow grief groups. Finding community is so important especially because grief and death already cause such loneliness. Thank you for your thoughtful responses. I feel this conversation is a step in the right direction.
I've seen the articles about sugar and cancer, and frankly for me, the jury is out. I just don't know enough and the press loves to tease out a one-liner and sensationalize it. What I dislike, and a reader brought this up the other day, was the notion that we should feel ashamed because we got a major illness because we "should" have eaten this, exercised that way...just another shame fest. Sometimes it really is the luck of the draw. In my father's case, he smoked for fifty years, so we rather expected it. The longer I've lived, the more I've experimented and the more I've read, the diet that is best for OUR body- and that really does mean eight billion different versions- will be the best to help us stave off lifestyle illnesses like metabolic disease. "Help stave off" are the key words here. Even so, if we get something awful, If we work at overall health habits, we are likely to be far, far better off in our ability to survive and then recover and eventually thrive again through something terrible. Not always, but a healthier body heading into a disease is a better predictor. Nothing is absolute, and we'd be fools to believe in., as you said, a plant-based diet as THE answer. There is no single answer. That's particularly true as we learn more about how plastics aren't just everywhere they are IN everybody, with outcomes that are very hard to anticipate, among other pollutions. The search for a single simple answer is a fool's journey.
Julia, I feel like I, and probably many others, are living your life. I'm about to have another birthday and aging hasn't been great! Lucky for me I look 'fine.' But my body seems to be falling apart. And I'm trying to figure it out as modern medicine hasn't been helpful. We'll persevere and we'll be well. Or at least better!
In I'm damned fortunate, Michele, in that years of decent overall diet and exercise have helped. The good news is that in such cases, the course corrections aren't major- for me, it's kill the cream, which is hard enough. Yogurt's hard but I can eat the occasional pickle. If the outcome is fewer or no kidney stones I'll take it!
Nothing more important than self-care, skilled help from others when we need it, healthy relationships and a sense of humor to see the absurd. Oh yes, sleeping well, eating well, walking, reading and meditating help too. "Forever Young" did not win the KY Derby yesterday although it's true we are younger now than we will ever be.
Agree copletely. They tend to ruin everything.