Hubby will sometimes make a comment about something be reported on TV that the person got wrong. I always tell him, "Don't worry, at least one person, probably more, is on social media right now pointing out the error."
I can relate to this piece so much. I often feel like I don't even want to share my thoughts online anymore or write, at all, because of the constant policing.
The way I've come to understand it, Yael, is that the higher the noise, the more we've hit a powerful nerve. That's the work we do. If we back down the work doesn't get done. It's the job of the creator to force discomfort, that forces growth. The wise rise.
As a woman who has served this country in more ways than one and was raped in boot camp and still stayed in-service, my thoughts are running rampant here...yep...people need to mind theirs. 100%!
Benivia, I was also active duty and the year I went from enlisted through OCS, I was raped multiple times by multiple senior officers in several different locations. I wish I could say I can’t relate, but I can. Most people have no idea. I am so sorry for your experience.
Minding my own business is really a thing for me these days. It's freed up so much energy, that and avoiding those who drain my energy instead invigorate. Great read!
I love what this comment brings up, Patti. When indeed did we stop minding our own business to the extent that we really mind everyone elses' BUT our own? Good point.
Change brings about a myriad of reactions. Those most resistant will find ways to police and judge. I think it's more prevalent in rural places... add in the world-wide exposure from the internet and it's a recipe for resistance. Best to embrace and navigate our own side of the street, and maybe hang out a welcome sign once in a while.
Chaos. Our perception of changes. And the anxiety it can create. All leading to an intense need to control matters via policing.
Your observations and insights on these things provoked a major “aha!” THIS is may just be why some of those close to me who are aging into and beyond their mid-70’s are behaving and commenting as they are.
Thanks for this piece, a reminder to approach these relationships with a greater sense of compassion and understanding.
I had a good friend whose mother was terribly wise until she got to her mid eighties. Then she got very negative and focused all the time on how much better things were back when. Back when for her was WWII. I struggle to embrace that idea, but also understand that memory edits itself all the time. She was young, beautiful and dearly loved, and I suspect that’s what she was recalling. That said, it’s not an attractive trait to berate the way things are right now because we who are aging feel out of control of (our bodies, the world, whatever). I’d like to think that we get better at navigating, but not all of us do.
Love the Laurie Stone quote and I agree with you - the older I get, the easier it is to let things go, to not try to enforce my idea of what’s right on the world. The one glaring exception would be the Oxford comma. Apparently, a hill I’m willing to die on. 😉
Bwhahahahaha. We traditionalists. I see so many singular subjects matched with plural verbs which are attached to prepositional phrases in otherwise good articles and books that I'd like to scream. But that's just me. I like to read good English grammar, and when I see the occasional apostrophe showing up in the wrong place in my own writing I know I've been infected. GAH.
Great post and reading it I kept thinking up s as lol kinds of snarky remark to make like “Stop telling me what to do!” And of course all kinds of explanations for why we as humans are always doing this, then I remembered the rare times I managed to stop myself from (in my mind) telling the whole world how to live and I remembered his peaceful it felt as if I was somehow floating above the confusion and strife of human life because of course none of it really matters and I thought that’s how nature must feel watching the grand tragic parade of life but knowing all is as it’s supposed to be
"Above all, we are always and forever referencing ourselves." Julia, this sentence has more depth to it than you may have suspected when you wrote it. It blew my mind as I read it, and I'm still swimming in joyful feelings in the aftermath. Gassho! 🙏
Thanks, Stephen, and for the subscription, too. It was quite intentional. Someone very close to me said recently, whilst turning a noun into a verb to great effect, that we "privilege" our viewpoint above all. First, because it's the only one we have, and second, because that is the only lens through which we can experience the world. Given that, as long as I am aware of this fact, I'm better able to self-manage!
“When we police others, we are always and forever speaking to ourselves.“ gosh this is so true ! And not taking it personally, I really hope to master that some day. I find myself drawn to Buddhism too. When I went to visit the tiger temple in Thailand, I received the message “for the highest and greatest good of all” from the giant gold Buddha at the top. This is the only religion that has the interests of all at the forefront. Imagine a world where we all served for the highest and greatest good of all, instead of policing like we are the judge and the jury?
Amber, I felt the same way in Thailand. I've been drawn to Buddhism since I was in my twenties. There are a lot of Buddhas at my house and boy do I need that serenity a lot!
I'm not entirely sure how this relates directly to my article. In the future I would respectfully ask that you make sure that what you post directly supports or aligns with my message. Thanks.
Hubby will sometimes make a comment about something be reported on TV that the person got wrong. I always tell him, "Don't worry, at least one person, probably more, is on social media right now pointing out the error."
I can relate to this piece so much. I often feel like I don't even want to share my thoughts online anymore or write, at all, because of the constant policing.
The way I've come to understand it, Yael, is that the higher the noise, the more we've hit a powerful nerve. That's the work we do. If we back down the work doesn't get done. It's the job of the creator to force discomfort, that forces growth. The wise rise.
As a woman who has served this country in more ways than one and was raped in boot camp and still stayed in-service, my thoughts are running rampant here...yep...people need to mind theirs. 100%!
Benivia, I was also active duty and the year I went from enlisted through OCS, I was raped multiple times by multiple senior officers in several different locations. I wish I could say I can’t relate, but I can. Most people have no idea. I am so sorry for your experience.
'Sorry' + head-scratching for us all...thank you for being vulnerable + for sharing, also.
No easy answers for anyone and from anyone, Benivia. But it really does make a difference when people speak up.
Minding my own business is really a thing for me these days. It's freed up so much energy, that and avoiding those who drain my energy instead invigorate. Great read!
I love what this comment brings up, Patti. When indeed did we stop minding our own business to the extent that we really mind everyone elses' BUT our own? Good point.
Change brings about a myriad of reactions. Those most resistant will find ways to police and judge. I think it's more prevalent in rural places... add in the world-wide exposure from the internet and it's a recipe for resistance. Best to embrace and navigate our own side of the street, and maybe hang out a welcome sign once in a while.
Well said, Patti. l love the visual of the welcome sign!
Amen to every word you wrote.
Thank you.
Chaos. Our perception of changes. And the anxiety it can create. All leading to an intense need to control matters via policing.
Your observations and insights on these things provoked a major “aha!” THIS is may just be why some of those close to me who are aging into and beyond their mid-70’s are behaving and commenting as they are.
Thanks for this piece, a reminder to approach these relationships with a greater sense of compassion and understanding.
I had a good friend whose mother was terribly wise until she got to her mid eighties. Then she got very negative and focused all the time on how much better things were back when. Back when for her was WWII. I struggle to embrace that idea, but also understand that memory edits itself all the time. She was young, beautiful and dearly loved, and I suspect that’s what she was recalling. That said, it’s not an attractive trait to berate the way things are right now because we who are aging feel out of control of (our bodies, the world, whatever). I’d like to think that we get better at navigating, but not all of us do.
Love the Laurie Stone quote and I agree with you - the older I get, the easier it is to let things go, to not try to enforce my idea of what’s right on the world. The one glaring exception would be the Oxford comma. Apparently, a hill I’m willing to die on. 😉
Or, a hill on which you're willing to die.
Bwhahahahaha. We traditionalists. I see so many singular subjects matched with plural verbs which are attached to prepositional phrases in otherwise good articles and books that I'd like to scream. But that's just me. I like to read good English grammar, and when I see the occasional apostrophe showing up in the wrong place in my own writing I know I've been infected. GAH.
Great post and reading it I kept thinking up s as lol kinds of snarky remark to make like “Stop telling me what to do!” And of course all kinds of explanations for why we as humans are always doing this, then I remembered the rare times I managed to stop myself from (in my mind) telling the whole world how to live and I remembered his peaceful it felt as if I was somehow floating above the confusion and strife of human life because of course none of it really matters and I thought that’s how nature must feel watching the grand tragic parade of life but knowing all is as it’s supposed to be
"Above all, we are always and forever referencing ourselves." Julia, this sentence has more depth to it than you may have suspected when you wrote it. It blew my mind as I read it, and I'm still swimming in joyful feelings in the aftermath. Gassho! 🙏
Thanks, Stephen, and for the subscription, too. It was quite intentional. Someone very close to me said recently, whilst turning a noun into a verb to great effect, that we "privilege" our viewpoint above all. First, because it's the only one we have, and second, because that is the only lens through which we can experience the world. Given that, as long as I am aware of this fact, I'm better able to self-manage!
You remind me of what I've been meditating on recently and which I posted to my blog.
https://thegloss.home.blog/2024/04/24/solipsism/
“When we police others, we are always and forever speaking to ourselves.“ gosh this is so true ! And not taking it personally, I really hope to master that some day. I find myself drawn to Buddhism too. When I went to visit the tiger temple in Thailand, I received the message “for the highest and greatest good of all” from the giant gold Buddha at the top. This is the only religion that has the interests of all at the forefront. Imagine a world where we all served for the highest and greatest good of all, instead of policing like we are the judge and the jury?
Amber, I felt the same way in Thailand. I've been drawn to Buddhism since I was in my twenties. There are a lot of Buddhas at my house and boy do I need that serenity a lot!
Many thanks for mentioning my comment!
It was a beaut, Laurie, and deserved mentioning.
Wonderful piece. And peace!
This we learn why the Buddha said, and I may be paraphrasing: "this is why you clowns weren't born with a gun!"
I think that's a verbatim quote, Dave!
I'm very sorry; I asked you to please not do this, and you're not hearing me. Best of luck to you.
I'm not entirely sure how this relates directly to my article. In the future I would respectfully ask that you make sure that what you post directly supports or aligns with my message. Thanks.