90 Comments

Yes Yes Yes! I am so fired up after reading this. I had to unfollow so many influencers and my mind can finally take a bit of a breather. I try hard to concentrate on health and not how skinny I am, but like you said, the conditioning and messages never stop. Great read :)

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Thank you so much. I honestly believe that the fewer we follow the more we learn to listen to ourselves.

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There you are! Was wondering what happened to you…. Used to follow you on medium.

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Thanks Scott. I tried very hard to let people know where I went. There's just too much noise over there and lots of us disappeared, and nobody noticed. Glad to see you here!

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I quote every single line of this piece and I'm so glad I stumbled upon it. I'm constantly trying to "push back at the bullshit", but it's not easy at all. Society is us, and if we want to change society we have to change ourselves, but it's hard because, well, society is in the way. It's a vicuous circle if ever saw one.

Anyway, sorry for the mini rant, I'm looking forward to see the documentary!

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Pity I'm not in the film business!

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yes, society is a mess and keeps most of us in perpetual confusion, but the political economy society is based upon, plays a crucial role is this sour game...

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This all comes back to feeling like we can only be valid by external sources when in reality, we have everything we need to be happy from our inner world. Unfortunately, these companies will only continue to push out products that do more harm than good because of social media. Wonderful article!

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So true. Too many of us make money on others' misery, Alexis.

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Yep. Yep. Yep. That is some #healthydeviant perspective right here. How encouraging! 👏👏👏

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Thank you!

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Julia... I fucking LOVE this piece. And not just because you mention me (for which, hearty thanks). I've been saving this for the weekend so I could enjoy with a coffee (soz for delay) and I find myself having some sort of existential re-birth. I'm going to save this piece to come back to as, as you say, we are constantly pulled back into the bullshit whirlpool. I vividly remember years ago coming back from my first ever yoga retreat feeling full of Zen, looking at an expensive handbag in my flat and thinking "why the fuck did I think that was worth spending £900 on?!". But then life took over and I bought another one, like an idiot. The gym thing really strikes a chord too - the things we dress up as 'health' that are actually toxic. Thank you for this piece - it's a punch in the face I needed. And I mean that with love!

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You are so welcome Annie. And I didn't expect to hear back; after all your piece about taking FOREVER to message back? Fair warning. So thanks. I had a handbag thing for a while because society told me they were IT bags, as though have IT was some big fucking thing, right? So I ended up with forty handbags I NEVER FUCKING USED because they were rarely ever big enough to shove my Daytimer in, right? We are so fucking stupid, Annie. And BTW congrats on finding love AND a good cook. Gawd. I wish.

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I completely agree! I am 76….77 by Nov 5. I don’t have the chops anymore to fight and try to explain the horrors of what a Trump 2.0 will look like!

Peoples eyes glaze over when I try to explain autocracy and the absolute 180 degree change that will happen.

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We will be making our beds and have to lie in them, Elizabeth. I'm not sure what on earth we're thinking, but maybe that's the whole problem.

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Excellent, thought-provoking article; thanks for sharing this!

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Thank you most kindly!

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I’m actually proud of myself. I usually go against the grain. Which makes on very unpopular. I’ve always done most things my way. I naturally take care of myself and try not to follow the crowd. That being said, I have a very very small circle of friends.

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It's costly- I've done it myself, and yes, we do end up with a few friends, but they are priceless.

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I'm totally in agreement with you on this subject. I don't think the BBC would air that documentary now. Not now they are using those techniques on us,the UK population to foster popular support for War. I learned of the strange and sinister origins of the 'Mad Men' 20th century PR industry from YouTube and a newspaper feature.

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Honestly, Jane, I think that all of us are likely a bit embarrassed when we see how much we are affected by other's machinations, and it's hard to admit it. But if we can, and if we're willing to own where we've allowed ourselves to be swayed, we can unsway ourselves. Hard and valuable work.

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Wow. Fantastic article. I have just started figuring out the scams that are solely designed to separate me from my money. My fixed income that won’t vary and is too little.

Thank you so much for this article. You have validated my recent figurings-out. I am 51 and I am too old for this sh!t.

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Yes! We are!

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Hey, at least you found a normal looking woman in a swimsuit on Unsplash. There was a time when you'd never be able to find "average" in a stock photo.

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Don't. Get. Me. Started. on Unsplash. Damn, the only world those folks see is really really narrow. And if I want to represent us, I have to pay a goodly bit for a single photo, which often wipes out whatever the article might have earned. GAH.

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A strong message about self-acceptance and rejecting societal manipulation. While I agree societal pressures are real, I also think there's a middle ground. Taking care of ourselves, physically and mentally, is important. But it should be on our own terms, not chasing some impossible ideal. You are right, Julia - Flaws and all, we're worthy.

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So true, Mo. Taking care of ourselves needs to be a gentle middle ground full of joy, rather than having to put up guard rails against a predatory society. To that, I am off to spend the day at the coast with a good book...that's my guard rail!

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Enjoy your day!

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On the trip I am on, there are 5 people (3 women and 2 men) who are 85 or older, all relatively fit and doing the hiking with the group, but none of them matching the "fitness" model shown in most media outlets. This is one of the few groups that I have traveled with where I am among the youngest - and I am working hard to keep up with the rest. I want to be like them when I grow up!! And they all have pointed to a time when they decided that the model bodies shown in the media outlets were not for them.

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I love that. Yet one more reason to hang out with folks, there's always something to learn.

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Hi Julia. So glad I found you on Substack ( I read you on Medium).

Love this post. I was a teacher for 30 years, mostly adolescents. From the time I started teaching in the ‘90s, to my retirement in the 2020s, I saw the mental health of these kids deteriorate. And it wasn’t just social media and cellphones, although those had a horrific effect, but the relentless consumption of junk food. Students started eating lunch in the halls for some reason. I would walk around during lunchtime and see what they were eating. It was basically all junk food. I saw kids sitting around eating entire packages of Oreos day, after day. Or fast food from down the street.

You know what else I saw? Anxiety, aggression, neurotic behavior, crying.

That was in Canada. I have now moved to the US and have checked out some local schools as a substitute. The cafeteria food is even worse than in Canada: pretzels, pizza, French fries.

America is in trouble. Especially since so many people have inadequate healthcare. Makes me sad.

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Many heartfelt thanks. I just got a few more books to read about kids, but it applies to us as well. As stewards of ourselves and our kids, we're not going a great job. I'm not sure what's going to turn us around but as individuals we're really not paying attention, and our kids are paying the price, as is our future.

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