Thank you for all of this. I have saved the post and will come back to it many times. I’m digesting your beautiful words before diving into the other Stacks that I know I will also want to take some time with. I’m in my mid 40s and have been doing some really difficult work around my dysfunctional childhood after hitting a bottom with burnout. Your writing really resonates and I’m grateful.
Amanda, thank you most kindly. I am smack in the middle of a major transformation right now, it's both exhilarating and terrifying and a reminder that our work never stops. We do get better at it. We truly do. Each new insight is a step towards personal agency- and the next. Keep me up to date!
"I AM these women. They are me." This. This is worth our awareness, because what women do is that we give each other grace. Thank you for sharing all of these different writers with us and points of view with us. I read all of the stacks linked here. And it truly was grace. I got to experience the ah ha moment multiplied several times -- brushing up against what I know to be truth: none of us is ever as alone as we think we are and none of us is ever as broken as we think we might be. Love your word craft, Julia. Write on . . .
Warm thanks, Stephanie. Louisa Wah does a superb job of scraping Substack for good writers as well, my work pales in comparison. I'm so grateful for such a space of gathering.
Julia, this is yet another tour de force in your vast and profound body of work. A friend of mine, who is in her 70s, always reminds me of the process of rebirth that I'm going through. Your term "midwife of midlife" is brilliant and really reflects how I feel as I go through this very tumultuous birthing process. I love even more the concept that we can all be midwives for one another here!
The discourses on belonging and loneliness, with your own experience and other writers' perspective, are so rich and deep. I have had similar sentiments about running away from what I belonged and of facing the vast empty space of loneliness. At midlife, crises brought me on my knees, and I was forced to stop running away from them... and from the shadows of my soul.
These are my favorite lines:
"We need to stand with, embrace and be transformed by our authentic emotions. Those are the birth contractions moving us towards the person we are meant to be."
"Midlife is when we truly begin to question our stories, so that a new story is written by a more authentic us."
"At midlife we are questioning, poking about for better answers, like a midwife invites us to PUSH PUSH PUSH."
As always, Louisa, what a gorgeous comment and thank you. I had a realization or two the other day, and in talking with my therapist, I've been sitting with and desperately also trying to avoid some very big emotional work. My gut wants me to run like hell, my Goddess is telling me to sit with it. I know what will win but I sure am aware of the discomfort right now.
gosh, if you feel old at 40???? prepare yourself cause the culture is ageist and at some point you'll appreciate that 40 isn't what ageism is pointing its crabby fingers at.....so enjoy it now.
I'm not sure I understand this, Marla. I'm 71....if you're referring to the photo, that was simply to acknowledge the idea of middle age. I'm quite open about my age in my writing, just didn't happen to mention it here, except that I pointed out that I had twenty years on the other writers whose work I was including. Sine they're in various stages of early fifties...that would make me early seventies. Barring any new math. Which. Hell, if new math makes me forty, sign me up ...
Julia your story about the Universe saying F you and not letting you leave Colorado was such a gut punch. I think I’ve been terrified of truly committing - to a place, a community - thank you for seeing me.
You bet. You know after writing this I realized that those of us nomads are ourselves homeless in a sense. I never felt safe at home due to incest, so in a very real sense no home will ever feel safe until I do. You bring up the real issue for us both- whether we're willing to commit to ourselves. Now there's a question to dance with in the wee hours.
Wow - yes I never thought of it that way but yes I ran away from home 2x as a child. It’s like we’re the bird in Are You My Mother - looking for home and safety and belonging outside when really it can only be found within.
OMG, Julia -- every word of this resonates with the Wisdom of Trauma course I'm currently undertaking (courtesy younity and Dr. Gabor Maté, he of the eloquent life lines in his face). And then that photo at the end!! My heart! And now the world must go on pause while I read the other writers to whom you have pointed me.
I've been stumbling into some rather large insights lately, and a nerve or two got exposed. All good work but wow. I'm trying my best to sit with it and let the feelings appear instead of intellectualizing them, which is my default coping mechanism. It's all good, but damn....
Thank you for all of this. I have saved the post and will come back to it many times. I’m digesting your beautiful words before diving into the other Stacks that I know I will also want to take some time with. I’m in my mid 40s and have been doing some really difficult work around my dysfunctional childhood after hitting a bottom with burnout. Your writing really resonates and I’m grateful.
Amanda, thank you most kindly. I am smack in the middle of a major transformation right now, it's both exhilarating and terrifying and a reminder that our work never stops. We do get better at it. We truly do. Each new insight is a step towards personal agency- and the next. Keep me up to date!
"I AM these women. They are me." This. This is worth our awareness, because what women do is that we give each other grace. Thank you for sharing all of these different writers with us and points of view with us. I read all of the stacks linked here. And it truly was grace. I got to experience the ah ha moment multiplied several times -- brushing up against what I know to be truth: none of us is ever as alone as we think we are and none of us is ever as broken as we think we might be. Love your word craft, Julia. Write on . . .
Warm thanks, Stephanie. Louisa Wah does a superb job of scraping Substack for good writers as well, my work pales in comparison. I'm so grateful for such a space of gathering.
I would like to re-frame the term Midlife (reminds me too much of negative connotations like Midlife crisis, etc).
It’s being in the Middle of Life, of Living.
With experience in our backpack and energy for the road ahead.
How about Mid-life awakening?
I think that's a naming contest to be had here!
YAY!!!
Words matter, don't they? I wrote a book on that, once. I love this, Joyce.
🥰
Julia, this is yet another tour de force in your vast and profound body of work. A friend of mine, who is in her 70s, always reminds me of the process of rebirth that I'm going through. Your term "midwife of midlife" is brilliant and really reflects how I feel as I go through this very tumultuous birthing process. I love even more the concept that we can all be midwives for one another here!
The discourses on belonging and loneliness, with your own experience and other writers' perspective, are so rich and deep. I have had similar sentiments about running away from what I belonged and of facing the vast empty space of loneliness. At midlife, crises brought me on my knees, and I was forced to stop running away from them... and from the shadows of my soul.
These are my favorite lines:
"We need to stand with, embrace and be transformed by our authentic emotions. Those are the birth contractions moving us towards the person we are meant to be."
"Midlife is when we truly begin to question our stories, so that a new story is written by a more authentic us."
"At midlife we are questioning, poking about for better answers, like a midwife invites us to PUSH PUSH PUSH."
Yes, yes, yes! Push, push, push!
As always, Louisa, what a gorgeous comment and thank you. I had a realization or two the other day, and in talking with my therapist, I've been sitting with and desperately also trying to avoid some very big emotional work. My gut wants me to run like hell, my Goddess is telling me to sit with it. I know what will win but I sure am aware of the discomfort right now.
gosh, if you feel old at 40???? prepare yourself cause the culture is ageist and at some point you'll appreciate that 40 isn't what ageism is pointing its crabby fingers at.....so enjoy it now.
I'm not sure I understand this, Marla. I'm 71....if you're referring to the photo, that was simply to acknowledge the idea of middle age. I'm quite open about my age in my writing, just didn't happen to mention it here, except that I pointed out that I had twenty years on the other writers whose work I was including. Sine they're in various stages of early fifties...that would make me early seventies. Barring any new math. Which. Hell, if new math makes me forty, sign me up ...
😂😂😂 signed me up too #juliahubbel
so sorry Julia, I thought this was a 40 year old posting about ageism- that’s what happens when you scroll too fast😎👍🏽
No worries. I do it all the time!
Julia your story about the Universe saying F you and not letting you leave Colorado was such a gut punch. I think I’ve been terrified of truly committing - to a place, a community - thank you for seeing me.
You bet. You know after writing this I realized that those of us nomads are ourselves homeless in a sense. I never felt safe at home due to incest, so in a very real sense no home will ever feel safe until I do. You bring up the real issue for us both- whether we're willing to commit to ourselves. Now there's a question to dance with in the wee hours.
Wow - yes I never thought of it that way but yes I ran away from home 2x as a child. It’s like we’re the bird in Are You My Mother - looking for home and safety and belonging outside when really it can only be found within.
Commitment to ourselves--that's it!!!
OMG, Julia -- every word of this resonates with the Wisdom of Trauma course I'm currently undertaking (courtesy younity and Dr. Gabor Maté, he of the eloquent life lines in his face). And then that photo at the end!! My heart! And now the world must go on pause while I read the other writers to whom you have pointed me.
I've been stumbling into some rather large insights lately, and a nerve or two got exposed. All good work but wow. I'm trying my best to sit with it and let the feelings appear instead of intellectualizing them, which is my default coping mechanism. It's all good, but damn....
Right there with you. It's why my weekly "blogcast" is for people who overthink :-)