Sometimes I feel like you're my personal cheerleader — and the cool thing is, I know it's not just me. I too nearly wore myself to a nub trying to meet society's mysterious, shifting, and contradictory standards for young women. And once I caught on, I beat myself up for being so unsure of my identity that I needed all that external validation. It's been such a relief to step away from that vicious cycle. Cheers to you for helping free others from it.
I was thinking about you today. I drove up the Coast a bit to see the King Tides and took myself to lunch on Depoe Bay to watch the last of them smash in, accompanied by a sleet storm which coated every single thing in a jacket of ice. Dangerous as hell out there. While I had lunch I read the very last of Schafler's book again and was so deeply struck by the generosity and kindness in her writing. My god, Jan, what a contrast to the hell-bent-for-leather drill sergeant which used to rule my life. The older I get the more I lean into the great strengths of kindness, forgiveness and vulnerability. Those are the balance to the badassery I so love, but the best part of it is that they complement one another. Many thanks for the kind thoughts.
Thanks, Jan. I think people would be surprised at how often I think about people whose work I read and whose comments I take seriously. You're part of my life.
This is wonderful, and much needed--thank you. As a perfectionist, I completely relate to taking on the project of “fixing” my perfectionism, so this is such a great reminder to relax my grip on that. 🙏
Sometimes I feel like you're my personal cheerleader — and the cool thing is, I know it's not just me. I too nearly wore myself to a nub trying to meet society's mysterious, shifting, and contradictory standards for young women. And once I caught on, I beat myself up for being so unsure of my identity that I needed all that external validation. It's been such a relief to step away from that vicious cycle. Cheers to you for helping free others from it.
I was thinking about you today. I drove up the Coast a bit to see the King Tides and took myself to lunch on Depoe Bay to watch the last of them smash in, accompanied by a sleet storm which coated every single thing in a jacket of ice. Dangerous as hell out there. While I had lunch I read the very last of Schafler's book again and was so deeply struck by the generosity and kindness in her writing. My god, Jan, what a contrast to the hell-bent-for-leather drill sergeant which used to rule my life. The older I get the more I lean into the great strengths of kindness, forgiveness and vulnerability. Those are the balance to the badassery I so love, but the best part of it is that they complement one another. Many thanks for the kind thoughts.
I miss that coast, Julia, and thank you for taking me along with you — I'm honored to find a place in your thoughts.
Thanks, Jan. I think people would be surprised at how often I think about people whose work I read and whose comments I take seriously. You're part of my life.
Same. I heart that so much.
This is wonderful, and much needed--thank you. As a perfectionist, I completely relate to taking on the project of “fixing” my perfectionism, so this is such a great reminder to relax my grip on that. 🙏
I so recommend the book if it interests you, Rob. Boy it was a gift for my journey.
Many thanks Rob. We all need relief from the pressure!