Thanks for the nudge Julia. One of the reasons I keep physically and mentally fit, even becoming a non-drinker is to be the role model for my children and adult grandchildren. And now you have nudged me to clean up my online habits as well.
Thanks for this insight, Julia. I remember the first time I saw smartphones - I was at a coffee shop with two friends and they were both staring at their phones. Our oldest kids were in primary school then; they are in university now. I cleared my throat and they both jumped and put their phones in their purses. Something about it bothered me.... within a couple of years I had one, too....
Hi Julia, thank you for this insightful piece. For me the breakthrough was realising I have control over this instead of blaming my surroundings. Changing my mindset from a victim to an owner.
I hope more people wake up to realise they are not in need of their smartphone all the time.
Start living again. Because we only have 1 life and a lot are wasting it behind a phone.
Let's be honest, it's not our phones...it's the internet. We just happen to be able to access it on our phones. When my son was 10 he didn't have a phone but he sure as hell picked the lock on my bedroom door to access my computer when I was at work.
The problem with the internet it we all use it. It's almost necessity to learn anything now.
Love this piece, Julia, thanks. I will send to my adults kids on behalf of their kids. I'm happy to be a non-addict, do not take the phone with me everywhere, sometimes simply forget, other times, it's a conscious decision. I rely more on computer than phone and that's not on all day every day. Do not have or allow a phone in the bedroom. Definitely "old-school" although confess to having thought of a phone upgrade recently mostly due to camera improvement. I received a lengthy email from a friend yesterday with mega details and links to articles on Apple and the DOJ lawsuit, the Apple vs Google race for the phone market - the new Android vs iPhone, security, and his "fear" of big brother watching everything. I think I'm even beyond that...way too old for this shit, yes, yes, yes. For anyone interested in the details and the lengthy list of links and articles, send me your email and I will forward to you for research purposes. No monetary
Julia, thank you for writing this piece. I 100% agree with you that cell phone usage affects adults' brains--and lives--as much as it does kids. Just as nutritional guidelines and regulations are often designed to highlight the vulnerability of babies and children--yes, they are more vulnerable to all sorts of environmental toxins than adults, but it doesn't mean adults shouldn't pay attention to those toxins or that they are impervious (as many mainland Chinese folks would like to believe, as a way to survive through denial because toxic chemicals infiltrate the soil and air to such a huge extent.)
So, when it comes to the phone, of course, I have to say I'm addicted too, but in recent years I have scaled down 90% of my social media activity and put my focus on more meaningful activities. What is tragic, is how the smart phone has played an instrumental role in the demise of my most recent relationship. Not only is my ex-partner addicted to the dopamine hits from TikTok and IG reels, he was also engulfted and brainwashed by the U.S.-bashing videos and other videos that confirmed his own desire to move overseas--a desire that proved to be so strong that it broke our partnership. In addition, the smartphone made it possible for him to contact women overseas, leading up to his sexual betrayal during the pandemic, the effects of which I am still suffering. And then there was an article that talks about how the cell phone kills sexual desire between couples. I found that to be true! Of course, it might seem unfair to blame a device for all these vices and tragedies, and that without it, things like betrayals can still happen. True. But the ease with which one can deceive and even make elaborate schemes overseas!!! I don't think one can achieve that so easily WITHOUT a smartphone. I'm still seething with anger about this!
Reading this reminded me of the night (I still remember it) in 2010 when I was having dinner during a trip to NYC with a very close, longtime friend. I was actually mid-sentence when she picked up her phone (which was on the table; mine was not because I thought that would be rude lol) and started messing with it, basically ignoring me. Eventually I stopped trying to have a conversation and we sat in silence while she looked at her phone. Again, this was (and is) a very close friend that I don’t get to see often. The saddest part is that although it took years, eventually I not only accepted that everyone does this, but I started keeping my phone out on the table too. 🙃 but I have hope for myself at least! Recently I’ve made a point to keep it in the bag for the whole meal. It’s a start at least…
Thanks for the nudge Julia. One of the reasons I keep physically and mentally fit, even becoming a non-drinker is to be the role model for my children and adult grandchildren. And now you have nudged me to clean up my online habits as well.
Thanks for this insight, Julia. I remember the first time I saw smartphones - I was at a coffee shop with two friends and they were both staring at their phones. Our oldest kids were in primary school then; they are in university now. I cleared my throat and they both jumped and put their phones in their purses. Something about it bothered me.... within a couple of years I had one, too....
Hi Julia, thank you for this insightful piece. For me the breakthrough was realising I have control over this instead of blaming my surroundings. Changing my mindset from a victim to an owner.
I hope more people wake up to realise they are not in need of their smartphone all the time.
Start living again. Because we only have 1 life and a lot are wasting it behind a phone.
Another great reality check on what is truly important, thanks Julia.
Let's be honest, it's not our phones...it's the internet. We just happen to be able to access it on our phones. When my son was 10 he didn't have a phone but he sure as hell picked the lock on my bedroom door to access my computer when I was at work.
The problem with the internet it we all use it. It's almost necessity to learn anything now.
Love this piece, Julia, thanks. I will send to my adults kids on behalf of their kids. I'm happy to be a non-addict, do not take the phone with me everywhere, sometimes simply forget, other times, it's a conscious decision. I rely more on computer than phone and that's not on all day every day. Do not have or allow a phone in the bedroom. Definitely "old-school" although confess to having thought of a phone upgrade recently mostly due to camera improvement. I received a lengthy email from a friend yesterday with mega details and links to articles on Apple and the DOJ lawsuit, the Apple vs Google race for the phone market - the new Android vs iPhone, security, and his "fear" of big brother watching everything. I think I'm even beyond that...way too old for this shit, yes, yes, yes. For anyone interested in the details and the lengthy list of links and articles, send me your email and I will forward to you for research purposes. No monetary
Julia, thank you for writing this piece. I 100% agree with you that cell phone usage affects adults' brains--and lives--as much as it does kids. Just as nutritional guidelines and regulations are often designed to highlight the vulnerability of babies and children--yes, they are more vulnerable to all sorts of environmental toxins than adults, but it doesn't mean adults shouldn't pay attention to those toxins or that they are impervious (as many mainland Chinese folks would like to believe, as a way to survive through denial because toxic chemicals infiltrate the soil and air to such a huge extent.)
So, when it comes to the phone, of course, I have to say I'm addicted too, but in recent years I have scaled down 90% of my social media activity and put my focus on more meaningful activities. What is tragic, is how the smart phone has played an instrumental role in the demise of my most recent relationship. Not only is my ex-partner addicted to the dopamine hits from TikTok and IG reels, he was also engulfted and brainwashed by the U.S.-bashing videos and other videos that confirmed his own desire to move overseas--a desire that proved to be so strong that it broke our partnership. In addition, the smartphone made it possible for him to contact women overseas, leading up to his sexual betrayal during the pandemic, the effects of which I am still suffering. And then there was an article that talks about how the cell phone kills sexual desire between couples. I found that to be true! Of course, it might seem unfair to blame a device for all these vices and tragedies, and that without it, things like betrayals can still happen. True. But the ease with which one can deceive and even make elaborate schemes overseas!!! I don't think one can achieve that so easily WITHOUT a smartphone. I'm still seething with anger about this!
Reading this reminded me of the night (I still remember it) in 2010 when I was having dinner during a trip to NYC with a very close, longtime friend. I was actually mid-sentence when she picked up her phone (which was on the table; mine was not because I thought that would be rude lol) and started messing with it, basically ignoring me. Eventually I stopped trying to have a conversation and we sat in silence while she looked at her phone. Again, this was (and is) a very close friend that I don’t get to see often. The saddest part is that although it took years, eventually I not only accepted that everyone does this, but I started keeping my phone out on the table too. 🙃 but I have hope for myself at least! Recently I’ve made a point to keep it in the bag for the whole meal. It’s a start at least…