This is such a hopeful message. I have lived through abuse as a child and young adult and have been on meds more than 20 years. I keep looking for a pill to fix my problems because working on them is so hard. But I've been thinking about going off my meds. I think it might be time. Thanks you, Julia, for this.
You are so welcome. Please make sure you're supported in all the ways you need. My story has ended well so far, I took a good long time to do it carefully and with my doctors' awareness.
Good stuff, Julia, thanks for sharing! Unfortunately the medical model is based on illness and disease not on health and wellness. Docs don't have the answers, they have procedures and treatments, and oh yes, prescriptions. I am grateful for some of those when they were needed as they have given me a few extra years beyond what was expected. However, what keeps us going, as you have noted, are millions of reasons for hope. "Faith, hope and love, these three...and the greatest is love."
I love how many years of contemplation have been put into this simple to read, relatively short piece. It leaves me with so many things to think about with my own life and circumstances. It also leaves me with hope and a sense of individual freedom. Thank for sharing with us what you know to be true from your experiences and wisdom.
Thanks Anna. While I'd hardly call myself wise I have indeed put decades of thought and work into this. That said, I keep finding millions of reason to hope. that's enough to keep me going.
This couldn’t be more timely for me. I’ve been working with a therapist and am coming slowly to the realisation that I am one of those misdiagnosed with bipolar, and I’m struggling and resisting for all the reasons you describe so eloquently. There is so much here for me to think with. Thank you.
You are so very welcome. How I wish I'd had access to this wisdom decades ago but we are where we are. I am painstakingly walking back all the wrong diagnoses with the VA and cleaning up my record as well as redefining myself and my existence. It truly does give us a whole new life.
Thank you for sharing thoughtful info to assist in breaking the cycle of assuming mental illness when there are so many other circumstances that can be at play...
"Yes, there is. Dialogue is the first step. Side note: As a fellow veteran, I want to thank you for your service. I'm here to encourage you not to grow weary in the slow pacing with the VA. The process can be exhausting, but it's very necessary."
This was so insightful- especially the parts about the brain being shaped by environment and experience- I think the field is epigenetics. Also, what a travesty that a fix is found through a process of labeling which then puts the onus on the labeled individual to shape up instead of recognizing it is the fucking society around him/her that is crazy- making! Great post.
Tracy, the whole concept of mea culpa is so sick. It's one thing to own your shit for a screwup. But to carry the weight of blame for things done to you by other, sick individuals? That's a handy way to continue to control people. It's big. Lots to work on here. Thank you so much.
Thank YOU for writing it! It was like something that had rattled around somewhat ill formed in my mind was suddenly spoken out-loud by someone, and I felt its immediate truth, and wanted to yell, “YES!”
Thanks Tracy. That's the Substack community for you. I find other's wisdom so stunning sometimes and it reminds me that in so many ways we are surrounded by brilliance.
Fantastic. I have much to say. But, it’s late and I’m dealing with yet another failed attempt to make a human connection. You must read Mark Fisher. And another psychology guy whose name I’m blanking on
I got turned on to Mark Fisher recently and devoured his work. He's a philosopher who writes extensively about the link between mental health and capitalism. He committed suicide in 2017 or thereabouts after a lifelong struggle with depression--big surprise. If you only read one of his books, read: 'Ghosts of My Life.' If you read my work, and I'm not sure you do, it's not for everyoneI. I argue ad naseum that our end-stage Capitalism culture is deeply sick and makes us even sicker with it's relentless planet/soul destroying hustle BS and toxic hyper-individualism. (You can tell I'm in a mood this morning.) He also turned me on to a kind of anti-psychology psychologist who argued fiercely that society was 99% to blame for mental illness/distress. But, then again, there is the HNP (human nature problem) that we cannot seem to overcome which I believe is a hardwired inclination for the powerful few to dominate the weaker who want be dominated. And, as I also write about extensively, today even, the inability to connect with people is slowly killing me and, I imagine, just about everyone else. All booze and drugs ingested to anesthetize ourselves to this reality don't Ingest themselves.
Sorry for the very late reply. I got utterly mugged with comments and have been slowly but surely going through my inbox to get current. My brother used drugs and alcohol to anesthetize himself until he did it for good. I've never gone for substances, but I sure considered a quick way out. Honestly these days, I"m not sure anyone gets to fifty without considering it.
This is such a hopeful message. I have lived through abuse as a child and young adult and have been on meds more than 20 years. I keep looking for a pill to fix my problems because working on them is so hard. But I've been thinking about going off my meds. I think it might be time. Thanks you, Julia, for this.
You are so welcome. Please make sure you're supported in all the ways you need. My story has ended well so far, I took a good long time to do it carefully and with my doctors' awareness.
Krishnamurti: “It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.”
I love this, John. Boy that's an article, isn't it? Salman Rushdie said much the same thing but in different ways.
I am sure this was very difficult to write, but it blazes with cleansing fire. I salute you, Julia Hubbel.
Thank you Jan. I'm getting a lot of feedback which tells me this topic struck home for many.
I think that's what happens when we write the difficult stuff -- the stuff we thought we were alone with.
The enormous heartbreaking like that we are alone in all this. what a life lesson that one is, Jan.
Good stuff, Julia, thanks for sharing! Unfortunately the medical model is based on illness and disease not on health and wellness. Docs don't have the answers, they have procedures and treatments, and oh yes, prescriptions. I am grateful for some of those when they were needed as they have given me a few extra years beyond what was expected. However, what keeps us going, as you have noted, are millions of reasons for hope. "Faith, hope and love, these three...and the greatest is love."
Thanks Gary. Each generation has its burden, and boy it's a challenge. I have faith though.
I love how many years of contemplation have been put into this simple to read, relatively short piece. It leaves me with so many things to think about with my own life and circumstances. It also leaves me with hope and a sense of individual freedom. Thank for sharing with us what you know to be true from your experiences and wisdom.
Thanks Anna. While I'd hardly call myself wise I have indeed put decades of thought and work into this. That said, I keep finding millions of reason to hope. that's enough to keep me going.
This couldn’t be more timely for me. I’ve been working with a therapist and am coming slowly to the realisation that I am one of those misdiagnosed with bipolar, and I’m struggling and resisting for all the reasons you describe so eloquently. There is so much here for me to think with. Thank you.
You are so very welcome. How I wish I'd had access to this wisdom decades ago but we are where we are. I am painstakingly walking back all the wrong diagnoses with the VA and cleaning up my record as well as redefining myself and my existence. It truly does give us a whole new life.
Thank you for sharing thoughtful info to assist in breaking the cycle of assuming mental illness when there are so many other circumstances that can be at play...
The parts of this which are blatantly racist, Benivia, it could fill volumes. There is so much to unpack, and so much work to do.
"Yes, there is. Dialogue is the first step. Side note: As a fellow veteran, I want to thank you for your service. I'm here to encourage you not to grow weary in the slow pacing with the VA. The process can be exhausting, but it's very necessary."
‘I was trying to bloody well cope’. The quote of the week, and one to remember. 👍
Lou, thank you and sorry for the late reply. I have to give myself that grace, too.
This was so insightful- especially the parts about the brain being shaped by environment and experience- I think the field is epigenetics. Also, what a travesty that a fix is found through a process of labeling which then puts the onus on the labeled individual to shape up instead of recognizing it is the fucking society around him/her that is crazy- making! Great post.
Tracy, the whole concept of mea culpa is so sick. It's one thing to own your shit for a screwup. But to carry the weight of blame for things done to you by other, sick individuals? That's a handy way to continue to control people. It's big. Lots to work on here. Thank you so much.
Thank YOU for writing it! It was like something that had rattled around somewhat ill formed in my mind was suddenly spoken out-loud by someone, and I felt its immediate truth, and wanted to yell, “YES!”
Thanks Tracy. That's the Substack community for you. I find other's wisdom so stunning sometimes and it reminds me that in so many ways we are surrounded by brilliance.
Fantastic. I have much to say. But, it’s late and I’m dealing with yet another failed attempt to make a human connection. You must read Mark Fisher. And another psychology guy whose name I’m blanking on
When you think of it let me know. I knew you'd find this, Chaos. Hang in there.
I got turned on to Mark Fisher recently and devoured his work. He's a philosopher who writes extensively about the link between mental health and capitalism. He committed suicide in 2017 or thereabouts after a lifelong struggle with depression--big surprise. If you only read one of his books, read: 'Ghosts of My Life.' If you read my work, and I'm not sure you do, it's not for everyoneI. I argue ad naseum that our end-stage Capitalism culture is deeply sick and makes us even sicker with it's relentless planet/soul destroying hustle BS and toxic hyper-individualism. (You can tell I'm in a mood this morning.) He also turned me on to a kind of anti-psychology psychologist who argued fiercely that society was 99% to blame for mental illness/distress. But, then again, there is the HNP (human nature problem) that we cannot seem to overcome which I believe is a hardwired inclination for the powerful few to dominate the weaker who want be dominated. And, as I also write about extensively, today even, the inability to connect with people is slowly killing me and, I imagine, just about everyone else. All booze and drugs ingested to anesthetize ourselves to this reality don't Ingest themselves.
Sorry for the very late reply. I got utterly mugged with comments and have been slowly but surely going through my inbox to get current. My brother used drugs and alcohol to anesthetize himself until he did it for good. I've never gone for substances, but I sure considered a quick way out. Honestly these days, I"m not sure anyone gets to fifty without considering it.