You and I Are Too Old Not to Mentor: Your Wisdom is So Needed

Too Old for This Sh*t: How to Take Your Life Back from an Ageist Society

Someone asked me for help on the BOSU ball. Here’s what happened

First, some context.

The Eugene YMCA is the best gym I’ve ever used and then some. Part of my deep pleasure in being there is watching so many people my age hit the weights, swim, do yoga….and engage.

I’m recovering from twelve major surgeries, including a broken left hip. I also love doing balance work, and am always seeking ways to not only improve my core but also challenge myself.

At 71, I’m what’s euphemistically referred to as “young old.” At some point, like many, my inner ear may change, which can affect our balance.

So, as I have for 51 years, I train for what may be coming. This year, for me, that means mastering the BOSU (Both Sides Up) ball and pushing my limits on it.

One important reason why is that in 2011, a trainer put me on one. He did a lousy job of helping me learn it. I took a fall and tore a rear delt muscle. It never recovered. I’ve been afraid of them for years.

That alone is enough reason to master this bad boy.

The above video is from my PT’s office where we were walking through some new exercises. They can be wicked-hard to master at any age, and very good for all of us to gain body confidence and agency. (PLEASE always check with a medical professional first!)

I’d been inspired to do a lot more by watching a lovely young ballet dancer do a variety of difficult moves, one-legged, on the BOSU about a month ago. I got a wooden staff to help me balance, then practiced until I could not only do what she did but much more.

I will NEVER look like her. I don’t have that body, her flexibility or much else.

I DON’T GIVE A DAMN.

She was my inspiration. As soon as I saw her on the ball, I knew I wanted to master those moves. My mind decided that I could do that. Period.

I want the balance and strength. For us to walk, wander, and waltz instead of wobble into our extreme old age, it takes this kind of loving commitment. Especially when we can make it into a game.

It’s hard. It’s worth it for the benefits.

I look like a drunk stork, true, but by god I am getting it done.

So imagine my surprise yesterday when a woman close to my age asked ME for help with a BOSU ball.

You kidding me?

She’d never been on one. At this point I’ve been at it daily for more than a month. A friend had given me a BOSU ball so there’s one at home while I watch a movie.

Okay. So I’m not a ballet dancer, but my PT has taught me the fine points of mount/dismount. As an erstwhile fitness trainer, I’m not exactly an idiot.

Okay okay, so I AM an idiot, you’re right, but at least in the gym, I’m not.

So we get her set up. She learns how to bend her knees and how to use her weight to stabilize. She uses the staff for balance, but is still wobbly. We move her to the wall where there’s a rack of secure bars she can grasp just in case.

Once she feels comfortable with her setup, I go back to my ball, about six feet away.

Next thing I know, damned if she isn’t doing her version of the Twist, hands-free, close to the bars for safety.

Minutes before she could hardly stand on the BOSU, much less dance on one, hands-free.

Damn.

This woman, in her early sixties, never on a BOSU ball before, watches me all wobbldy-gook and decides she’s gonna do that, just like I did with the ballet dancer.

She bloody well did, too.

A few minutes later she headed for the exit. I caught up to her and complimented her. She beamed, pleased at herself (she has every right) and pleased someone had paid attention.

Gifts to us all.

This is where I am now, integrating other exercises onto the ball. The mental work of this is great too. Being a beginner is juicy stuff; the brain loves it.

I am no Princess Grace. I am, however, determined as hell. When I call myself a “Horizon Huntress,” this is exactly what I mean- finding new boundaries and pushing them. Here, with the aging body.

This isn’t about showing off, either; I am hardly good at it, but good enough. Sometimes that’s all we need to be.

You and I Are WAY Too Old to believe we have to be the best at everything.

We can support, help, guide, mentor. When we reach the limits of our skills, we encourage people to move on, just as my best coaches and trainers have done.

What does this have to do with you?

Let’s tease out the important pieces: I have an aging body that I train for my nineties. I see a badass ballerina do some moves on a BOSU and decide I wanna do that. A week later I don’t need the staff any more and with my PT’s guidance, start adding challenges.

Next thing I know someone close to my age is asking ME for help. Now granted, I’m a gym rat, I’ve had years of training and am not going to do something that will put someone else in danger.

So I set that person up, stay with her long enough to see that she’s got the basics and knows how to dismount or catch herself if she falls.

Next thing, she’s wiggling her butt and having a time of it, watching herself in the mirror, on the ball, hands-free.

It just doesn’t get any better than that.

Where could you make a similar difference? From knitting to needlework to nosedives at the pool, many of us have skills and tricks and shortcuts that we either earned or that someone taught us.

When you and I have the skills and there’s an opportunity to help, to mentor, to support someone else, we have a sacred responsibility to show up.

We don’t have to be the Big Expert. Just good enough and gracious enough to pay it forward. And wise and self-aware to know what we don’t know.

If you and I want to be valuable, even beloved, as we age, let’s find quiet ways to show up for people. When we do, we’re showing up for ourselves, too.

Let’s play.

Photo by Monica Melton on Unsplash

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