You and I Are Too Old Not To Decide That Life is Going to be Beautiful
Too Old for This Sh*t: How to Take Your Life Back from an Ageist Society
It really is for us to decide
My friend Melissa told me a story the other morning during our very early daily talks which start every day but Sunday.
It’s made the rounds. Kind of an old one. Likely you’ ve heard some version of it, like pleasant gossip. I share it here for a reason, so stay with me.
A very old woman was moving to her very last home. Her health was failing, she had no more family, and her house had been sold. She knew she didn’t have long.
When the taxi arrived to take her to the facility, she asked the driver to take her around town, to all the main roads, by ways, and neighborhods so that she could see them once more.
He explained this would be very expensive.
She smiled, and told him that it would be the last time she got to see the town where she’d spent her entire life. She was going to a facility where, in a short time, she knew she would be gone.
He nodded, turned off the meter and squired her everywhere: past her kindergarten, the schools where she was a little girl, the church where she was married, her favorite gardens, the cemetery where her family lay, the old movie house, the library where she rented her first big novel.
Finally, hours later, he pulled up to her facility. A nurse came out to help her from the taxi.
The driver asked how she liked her room.
“I haven’t seen it yet,” she answered. “But I already know I’m going to love it.”
“But how can you know that if you’ve never seen it?” the driver asked, surprised.
“I don’t need to see it,” she smiled. “I’ve already decided that it’s beautiful.”
Then she smiled, and leaned on the arm of the nurse to go to her beautiful room.
***
Like similar stories, you’ll find endless versions of the same thing.
The reason I share this old saw is because I like the reminder that doom and gloom are chosen ways of perceiving. That how we approach a thing paints it in advance. If we hate a person because of their color, we have already decided who and what they are, in utter disregard of all other factors.
This robs us of untold quality of life.
In my area of writing, aging vibrantly, in our culture we seethe with age hate, determining that we are worthless, ugly and horrible by forty or so, and life is over the moment we hit fifty.
We’ve already decided that aging is going to be awful.
One of my readers fired me a private email recently. This person, who lives in Europe, deals with neuro divergency and is approaching the big 50, admitted to feeling very old lately. With a late-in-life child- and my mother had both of her kids after forty- it just seems too much.
Yet it isn’t. Not at all. The act of deciding that it isn’t too much is enough to invite out the inner hero, the one we can count on. We are made to do this, we have all the necessary resources.
We can decide that aging is going to be beautiful.
You and I are Way Too Old to let society, ignorance and self-revulsion rob us of our very best years.
As I stumble, bumble, dance, limp and leap my way into my seventies, I get to choose to experience the inevitable losses as creating room for big gains in new areas of life. I get to choose to experience the inevitable changes as evolution and developments rather than deterioration.
Above all I can do the necessary work, body mind and soul, which will enhance my aging process, give me the strength and courage to carve it into a thing of beauty.
Don’t let societal stupidity and greed take from you what is yours, what is precious, beautiful and sacred: your right to an aging process that gives you joy.
There will be pain, guaranteed (just ask me). There will changes that give you heartache. There will be losses. That is just life.
But with each step, we also get to celebrate that we are indeed alive, that we get to continue to experience this world.
We can choose that it’s going to be beautiful.
Let’s choose.
Let’s play.
Thanks so much for spending time with me today. If this article gave you pleasure and hope, please consider
If someone you know is struggling with aging, kindly consider
Above all, thanks for reading. If ever there is a time you feel like supporting, know that this is my job, and it’s also my passion to Move People’s Lives. Thanks for helping me do that by example.
Going to the gym is so interesting. I'm in the "older" group and I watch my fellow oldsters around me. I think I'm sort of in the middle of the group when it comes to fitness and intention. I love the ones who are going for it and look like they are. They come and work out and look fabulous. They are way ahead of me and I love that I take encouragement and motivation from them. The ones who look like they started at the gym today and need some work to get to my level of fitness, well, I want to give them a high five and tell them they are well on their way to a better life. Regardless of fitness level or ability, I'm most impressed with my fellow oldsters who have a big smile on their face and when asked how they're doing, always say "I'm doing great today. How about you?" You can tell when it's a real reaction said with enthusiasm or just a pat response. But even a pat response is a good thing. The more times you say you're doing great, the easier it is to really believe it.
“I’ve already decided it’s beautiful!”
I absolutely love that! Positive attitude!!