This is so important for people thinking of moving overseas. I'm not. I may bitch about lots of things here at home and I love to travel but I just don't have the mental energy to make that many changes all at once. If I already spoke the language or had spent enough time in my foreign home of choice to know how things work, it might be different. But no. And all those other things you mention kick in. I don't want to live that far from my kids and grandkids. I'm old and while I'm in pretty good shape right now, I can see things declining in the future. I want good health care to be available to me even if I have to not eat to afford it. It's taken me all of my 76 years to figure out how to live here. I don't have that many years left to learn a whole new system. The adventure of moving overseas sounds glamorous and wonderful and if I was 36 instead of 76 it might make sense. As it is, I wish all who make the choice to move out of the country only the very best. It just won't be me.
well written and comprehensive. the only quibble I have is that there are alternative research sites on the quality of health care and availability of pharmaceuticals in varying overseas expat destinations. one may need to enlarge their mindset rather than "run home to mama."
I hope anyone and everyone considering "running away from home" read this carefully and values the work you have done.
the thing I would add, as I had done all of this research years ago, before the corona lockdown, would be, if you can put your life on hold, in storage, in suspension, go, spend at least three years in whatever new, safe, place you have identified. what we see, too often, is what our whole lives have trained us to see; in three years we will either be actually able to see or we will run home.
Great article. I am retired with both a pension and Social Security, living in Belize for 10 years now. I have learned to be patient and get along. English as the official language, and my retired status and stable income make non-issues out of many things you mentioned.
I moved to France some years ago with realistic expectations and I wasn't disappointed. I knew it would be different from home and I would not find "Olive Garden and Ranch Dressing", but I found so much more here.
I've seen in local Parisian Facebook groups some fellow Americans ranting about France, as France was different from their expectations, but the majority of "expats" are educated enough to deal with the differences.
You covered a large territory in this article! Excellent! I have lived overseas and can attest to everything you say. Having read of two Americans fired from Canadian employers this past week, with the message of "we like you, but we don't want any Americans working for us any more, period.", we can't emphasize enough the fact that the US is not a great place to come from in many other countries. Given the current large conflicts and a global economy being made more vulnerable by US policy, or lack thereof, I would advise anyone who cannot carry on a meaningful conversation in a local language not to move to another country. You cannot be safe enough without basic language skills. AND, an app is not the way to learn! If anyone wonders, one of the best ever courses for learning how to speak another language is the Pimsleur method. Google it and go from there. It doesn't help with writing or reading, but it does truly teach you to speak, and pretty quickly.
This was great. I moved to France (French husband) in my mid/late 30s. I understand that many Americans see life abroad as a pathway to solving their very real problems (cost of housing, cost of healthcare, quality of life, etc.).
But I often say that *living abroad* is distinct from vacation. And the longer we live somewhere, the more we learn that cultural differences are *real* and bigger than it may seem.
Moving overseas is an incredibly destabilizing experience. You learn new customs, cadence of everyday life, acclimate to new food, and navigate the many invisible differences of communication that go beyond language.
When I moved here, I was in Facebook groups (don't laugh at me too hard) and nobody talked about how hard it is, but rather, they derided people who voiced problems or shared frustrations.
Three years later I finally found a nice association of women who actually live here (married to French men, work here, speak French, etc.) and they have very real perspectives on la vie en rose.
I wish everyone success on their journey, but life abroad is not a panacea.
Thank you for this, Julia. You've brought to the surface a rarely talked about but necessary point that needs to be considered by everyone living abroad: no matter how much you love where you live abroad, or how long you have lived there, or how well established you are, it is often likely that you will need to return to your home country for end of life care. That can often be something hard to accept when the time comes. I know for my parents, they chose death over returning to Canada where the national healthcare system could have extended their lives significantly. It wasn't a decision I agreed with, and I have suffered immensely because of it. I live abroad, and I would never want my son to have to deal with me having to grapple with such a decision.
Totally agree with the vibe of this one. My wife and I considered Mexico for a couple of years. Then I did the research. While there are a lot of good things that I really would have loved about living there, we instead are relocating to a cheaper, less busy place in our own country. One with a beautiful lake and a beach, and friendly people.
I wish I had faith that my country was worth sticking with. Dean Blundell just posted The Guardian's story about a Trump move to allow VA doctors to refuse care to female, single Democrat voting veterans. The VA didn't deny this, and this is precisely what many of us saw coming. Could we borrow Carney for a while?
I read your profile and looked at what you care about. I respect your right to your take and in fact wore a uniform to protect your take. You're right about Obama but one accurate fact in this argument doesn't balance the problems with the rest. That said, I'm not going to be sucked into a point-by point discussion with you. I'm not the right writer for you, Michele. I wish you the best.
Such a great essay! Your point about end of life care is critical. Americans will spend a year planning a one day wedding, or one week vacation, but seldom invest any time thinking much less planning about their end of life care. A few months ago, I read an article about an 80 something newly widowed woman who wanted to return to the US now that she was alone. She relied on her husband to manage everything, never bothered to learned Spanish, and lived in an expat community that wasn't interested in helping her age gracefully. She realized that she could not afford to return to the US because of spending down their retirement.
I have been researching moving to another country but I have no enthusiasm for it. Your points about the realities of living in another country as an expat are right-on. I am thankful that I do at least have the priviledge of even thinking about leaving as most Americans don't. I am watching carefully to see if I can live with damage that this cruel administration and GOP will leave behind.
That was very hard to read, and Sue, that’s why I write about this stuff. I don’t have much, and what I have may well be obliterated by these people, so these discussions are hard, and present. We cannot deny our deterioration. We can work to age well, but die we must.
thank you so very much. I'm passing along a lot of wisdom gleaned from many, mixed with my own research. May we be wise enough to not do something genuinely foolish and make others pay for our lack of preparation.
This is so important for people thinking of moving overseas. I'm not. I may bitch about lots of things here at home and I love to travel but I just don't have the mental energy to make that many changes all at once. If I already spoke the language or had spent enough time in my foreign home of choice to know how things work, it might be different. But no. And all those other things you mention kick in. I don't want to live that far from my kids and grandkids. I'm old and while I'm in pretty good shape right now, I can see things declining in the future. I want good health care to be available to me even if I have to not eat to afford it. It's taken me all of my 76 years to figure out how to live here. I don't have that many years left to learn a whole new system. The adventure of moving overseas sounds glamorous and wonderful and if I was 36 instead of 76 it might make sense. As it is, I wish all who make the choice to move out of the country only the very best. It just won't be me.
well written and comprehensive. the only quibble I have is that there are alternative research sites on the quality of health care and availability of pharmaceuticals in varying overseas expat destinations. one may need to enlarge their mindset rather than "run home to mama."
I hope anyone and everyone considering "running away from home" read this carefully and values the work you have done.
the thing I would add, as I had done all of this research years ago, before the corona lockdown, would be, if you can put your life on hold, in storage, in suspension, go, spend at least three years in whatever new, safe, place you have identified. what we see, too often, is what our whole lives have trained us to see; in three years we will either be actually able to see or we will run home.
Great article. I am retired with both a pension and Social Security, living in Belize for 10 years now. I have learned to be patient and get along. English as the official language, and my retired status and stable income make non-issues out of many things you mentioned.
Worth reading if you are considering an expat life.
I moved to France some years ago with realistic expectations and I wasn't disappointed. I knew it would be different from home and I would not find "Olive Garden and Ranch Dressing", but I found so much more here.
I've seen in local Parisian Facebook groups some fellow Americans ranting about France, as France was different from their expectations, but the majority of "expats" are educated enough to deal with the differences.
You covered a large territory in this article! Excellent! I have lived overseas and can attest to everything you say. Having read of two Americans fired from Canadian employers this past week, with the message of "we like you, but we don't want any Americans working for us any more, period.", we can't emphasize enough the fact that the US is not a great place to come from in many other countries. Given the current large conflicts and a global economy being made more vulnerable by US policy, or lack thereof, I would advise anyone who cannot carry on a meaningful conversation in a local language not to move to another country. You cannot be safe enough without basic language skills. AND, an app is not the way to learn! If anyone wonders, one of the best ever courses for learning how to speak another language is the Pimsleur method. Google it and go from there. It doesn't help with writing or reading, but it does truly teach you to speak, and pretty quickly.
This was great. I moved to France (French husband) in my mid/late 30s. I understand that many Americans see life abroad as a pathway to solving their very real problems (cost of housing, cost of healthcare, quality of life, etc.).
But I often say that *living abroad* is distinct from vacation. And the longer we live somewhere, the more we learn that cultural differences are *real* and bigger than it may seem.
Moving overseas is an incredibly destabilizing experience. You learn new customs, cadence of everyday life, acclimate to new food, and navigate the many invisible differences of communication that go beyond language.
When I moved here, I was in Facebook groups (don't laugh at me too hard) and nobody talked about how hard it is, but rather, they derided people who voiced problems or shared frustrations.
Three years later I finally found a nice association of women who actually live here (married to French men, work here, speak French, etc.) and they have very real perspectives on la vie en rose.
I wish everyone success on their journey, but life abroad is not a panacea.
so true and thank you! If we can handle discomfort, we grow. If we can't, stay home.
Thank you for this, Julia. You've brought to the surface a rarely talked about but necessary point that needs to be considered by everyone living abroad: no matter how much you love where you live abroad, or how long you have lived there, or how well established you are, it is often likely that you will need to return to your home country for end of life care. That can often be something hard to accept when the time comes. I know for my parents, they chose death over returning to Canada where the national healthcare system could have extended their lives significantly. It wasn't a decision I agreed with, and I have suffered immensely because of it. I live abroad, and I would never want my son to have to deal with me having to grapple with such a decision.
I remember that story, Kaila. Thanks- it's a very tough road for many of us.
Totally agree with the vibe of this one. My wife and I considered Mexico for a couple of years. Then I did the research. While there are a lot of good things that I really would have loved about living there, we instead are relocating to a cheaper, less busy place in our own country. One with a beautiful lake and a beach, and friendly people.
And they speak English.
I wish I had faith that my country was worth sticking with. Dean Blundell just posted The Guardian's story about a Trump move to allow VA doctors to refuse care to female, single Democrat voting veterans. The VA didn't deny this, and this is precisely what many of us saw coming. Could we borrow Carney for a while?
It hasn't been debunked. Denied, but not debunked: https://economictimes.indiatimes.com/news/international/us/new-va-policy-sparks-outrage-as-doctors-may-refuse-treatment-to-democrats-and-unmarried-veterans-alike/articleshow/121886890.cms?from=mdr
I read your profile and looked at what you care about. I respect your right to your take and in fact wore a uniform to protect your take. You're right about Obama but one accurate fact in this argument doesn't balance the problems with the rest. That said, I'm not going to be sucked into a point-by point discussion with you. I'm not the right writer for you, Michele. I wish you the best.
So much useful information and a joy to read. Thank you Julia.🩵
So lucid and clear!
Such a great essay! Your point about end of life care is critical. Americans will spend a year planning a one day wedding, or one week vacation, but seldom invest any time thinking much less planning about their end of life care. A few months ago, I read an article about an 80 something newly widowed woman who wanted to return to the US now that she was alone. She relied on her husband to manage everything, never bothered to learned Spanish, and lived in an expat community that wasn't interested in helping her age gracefully. She realized that she could not afford to return to the US because of spending down their retirement.
I have been researching moving to another country but I have no enthusiasm for it. Your points about the realities of living in another country as an expat are right-on. I am thankful that I do at least have the priviledge of even thinking about leaving as most Americans don't. I am watching carefully to see if I can live with damage that this cruel administration and GOP will leave behind.
That was very hard to read, and Sue, that’s why I write about this stuff. I don’t have much, and what I have may well be obliterated by these people, so these discussions are hard, and present. We cannot deny our deterioration. We can work to age well, but die we must.
This article is spot on.
thank you so very much. I'm passing along a lot of wisdom gleaned from many, mixed with my own research. May we be wise enough to not do something genuinely foolish and make others pay for our lack of preparation.