I grieve with you for the way we are intentionally fractured by the media, by politicians, by consumer culture — and forget the power we have to promote healing one another when we come together. It still happens, but that's not what the culture pays attention to. That's a loss for all of us.
Yes! When a community is struck by a tragedy, it is the compassion and care that rises to meet the occasion. That we had anyone, anyone, even doubt or debate the events in Newtown or Uvalde is itself a tragedy. Every day in the U.S. someone dies in the most awful of circumstances and those who suffer the lost the most need the embrace of family and friends in order to mend broken hearts for the loss. Death and grief are inevitable parts of life and we would do well to learn some lessons from Ireland about the right response. Thanks, Julia!
Beautiful. Years ago when I was traveling around Ireland with my daughters before they got married we passed through Mayo and were walking around a small graveyard looking for our family name. We came across several older men who were digging the grave for their friend who died. It was such a moving, communal effort that I will never forget. I’m 50% NY Irish. My dad was 100% in spite of being second and third generation. The Irish stayed in the same parish and my father’s siblings married other local Irish people.
My father's final things included three hand-made lace handkerchiefs from his Irish side of the family. I've still got them, nestled beneath Quan-Yin and the Buddha on my bedside table. Mixing my heritage with acquired beliefs, a statement of the diversity we all are, and I treasure all of it. Thanks for your kind words. Somehow the act of digging the grave is deeply personal, and such sacred work. Yet we run from it, when we need to run towards what it teaches us.
Grief is a dialogue not a monologue; a social emotion as much as a private one. As someone who is half Irish and has lived in rural Ireland for the last 6 years, the way that grief is honoured here is something that touches me deeply too. My mother in law (93) died a couple of weeks ago and even though many here didn't know her well (her mobility meant she didn't socialize much anymore), our neighbours have rallied around us. Community is what humans long for, what we were built for. When you witness what goodness we can create together, it helps to remind us of that.
So true, Jody. Community is what we make of it. The Irish really know joy and grief; I'm not sure I know a people more deeply engaged with their emotions and so willing to celebrate both sides: life and death. Thanks so much.
Such a deep and meaningful post, Julia. The loss of one person in a community mourned by all. I live in a small town but we no longer mark the passing of a hearse by stopping to show our respect, we just carry on with our busy lives. The loss of a sense of community in these divisive times adversely affects all us. Thank you for this.
Patricia, thanks so much. I am doing my level best to create a small town within my small city, which is the challenge for us all- to know we are part of a very essential community, and eco system which depends on all of us. That's such a life lesson.
It's a real life lesson to appreciate both the intrusiveness and small mindedness that can be village life, as well as this tightly-knit connectivity, Robyn. They can't be separated - all such good things are had at a price. Anonymity is terribly expensive, too.
Loved this... felt there... felt a tear.
It's a tough story to retell for it takes me right back.
I grieve with you for the way we are intentionally fractured by the media, by politicians, by consumer culture — and forget the power we have to promote healing one another when we come together. It still happens, but that's not what the culture pays attention to. That's a loss for all of us.
Yes! When a community is struck by a tragedy, it is the compassion and care that rises to meet the occasion. That we had anyone, anyone, even doubt or debate the events in Newtown or Uvalde is itself a tragedy. Every day in the U.S. someone dies in the most awful of circumstances and those who suffer the lost the most need the embrace of family and friends in order to mend broken hearts for the loss. Death and grief are inevitable parts of life and we would do well to learn some lessons from Ireland about the right response. Thanks, Julia!
Beautiful. Years ago when I was traveling around Ireland with my daughters before they got married we passed through Mayo and were walking around a small graveyard looking for our family name. We came across several older men who were digging the grave for their friend who died. It was such a moving, communal effort that I will never forget. I’m 50% NY Irish. My dad was 100% in spite of being second and third generation. The Irish stayed in the same parish and my father’s siblings married other local Irish people.
My father's final things included three hand-made lace handkerchiefs from his Irish side of the family. I've still got them, nestled beneath Quan-Yin and the Buddha on my bedside table. Mixing my heritage with acquired beliefs, a statement of the diversity we all are, and I treasure all of it. Thanks for your kind words. Somehow the act of digging the grave is deeply personal, and such sacred work. Yet we run from it, when we need to run towards what it teaches us.
Grief is a dialogue not a monologue; a social emotion as much as a private one. As someone who is half Irish and has lived in rural Ireland for the last 6 years, the way that grief is honoured here is something that touches me deeply too. My mother in law (93) died a couple of weeks ago and even though many here didn't know her well (her mobility meant she didn't socialize much anymore), our neighbours have rallied around us. Community is what humans long for, what we were built for. When you witness what goodness we can create together, it helps to remind us of that.
So true, Jody. Community is what we make of it. The Irish really know joy and grief; I'm not sure I know a people more deeply engaged with their emotions and so willing to celebrate both sides: life and death. Thanks so much.
Such a deep and meaningful post, Julia. The loss of one person in a community mourned by all. I live in a small town but we no longer mark the passing of a hearse by stopping to show our respect, we just carry on with our busy lives. The loss of a sense of community in these divisive times adversely affects all us. Thank you for this.
Patricia, thanks so much. I am doing my level best to create a small town within my small city, which is the challenge for us all- to know we are part of a very essential community, and eco system which depends on all of us. That's such a life lesson.
So very true.
Really beautiful article Julia - thank you 🙏
We’ve lost much… just hope we won’t lose that sense of community 🙏💙
Social media has cost us a great deal, and we have work to do to get it back, Joyce. It's not the only factor but it's a big one.
So true
A lot to be said for village life.
It's a real life lesson to appreciate both the intrusiveness and small mindedness that can be village life, as well as this tightly-knit connectivity, Robyn. They can't be separated - all such good things are had at a price. Anonymity is terribly expensive, too.
So true. I have a wonderful large extended family who are a village. So much love and support. I feel blessed.
You are. I have to create mine, which is fine. It's worth the work.