One of the reasons we moved into town was the lack of an alternative to driving my self places. When you are far enough out that a taxi or Uber or Lyft is not an option, the specter of not being able to drive yourself is terrifying. I'm still driving safely but I know when I get to the point that I can't, I'll still be able to live in my home. I miss living in the country but I'm thrilled that I have all sorts of alternate transportation along with so many delivery options available where we live now. Somehow, getting rid of so much stuff in the move was not nearly as hard as making the decision to move. Yes, I feel lighter and so much more free with less stuff but somehow that wasn't the best change. The best change was knowing I'll be fine in this house for a very long time.
Reading this had me considering what I've been doing for years. I've lived in condos for most of my life and travel was my drug of choice so I rarely collected things. I'm not the "souvenir" type. Instead, I have bucket loads of photos saved digitally. Those mean more to me than things, and when I'm gone, my grandchildren will learn more about me through photos than trinkets.
Having said that, I also have a good amount of my son's things still packed away. I've donated plenty to men's shelters but can't bring myself to part with all of it. But what if I want to do what you're doing? Spend my final decades in a different country? The only part of my son I can bring are photos and his urn. I feel ypu, Julia. It's hard emotional work to downsize. ❤️
Julia, I called it “human molting” 10 years ago when (at 71) I readied to sell my house and had to reassess the “stuff” I’d been carting around for much of my adult life. It was THE most freeing experience and a lesson I take with me now. Downsizing is not a bad word, and it doesn’t necessarily mean we won’t accumulate new stuff that we have to reevaluate 10 years later. Now, please excuse me while I go through a closet full of shoes that I’ll never wear again. I think you’ll enjoy the piece! https://www.huffpost.com/entry/awful-pangs-of-decluttering_b_8677356
This is timely for me. The other night, I bumped into one of my many bookshelves and the whole thing collapsed, spewing at least a hundred books on the floor. I barely got out of the way. Sitting on the floor amidst these books that I have been meaning to read for years, I had to face the fact that I will never have time to read most of them. This morning, I went through the books, keeping a few that I really do want to read and boxed the ones I don't care about for Goodwill. Sometimes you have to say, "That thing is good. I like it, but I'm never going to use it."
Thanks for your post. It is a difficult transition.
I am fortunate. I had an inate belief that I didn't need photos of every moment, or memorabilia to remember my past. I knew that those moments became ingrained in who I am.
I have a box, one file box, of the important things that I could not let go of, items from my past before my children and some of when they were little. When I am gone they can explore that and see who I was before they existed, without being overwhelmed with a materialistic legacy.
I have downsized and downsized again, and then upsized a bit. But with the certain knowledge that the stuff I have around me is there to give me pleasure and once I'm gone, can be shipped off to Goodwill or 1-800-JUNK with my blessing. For me, certain objects have importance not because they're trophies, but because they're reminders.
That’s the distinction that can be hard. When releasing, I get to ask what’s most important. Hauling three saddles around as reminders….well,, I hope to have a horse that I can fit them on eventually but I ‘m running out of time!
Dunno. If I go to Ecuador, those folks say to bring them, as to replace them is too dear to make it worth it. So for now, I;m keeping them. It’s a hard choice!
“How we treat others, how we treat ourselves are both better proof that life has not been wasted on us”. This is the best part of this post. Thank you! I downsized 4 years ago and it was a very cleansing process. I left a life behind and started a new one. With the current political situation I may have to it again and move back overseas. Good luck on your journey. At least you have life and zest left in you to tackle this move.
Here's what I learned when disposing of my parents' estate. By and large, nobody wants your s**t. End of story. :)
Doesn't make this process any easier. Thanks for you insights.
So true!
One of the reasons we moved into town was the lack of an alternative to driving my self places. When you are far enough out that a taxi or Uber or Lyft is not an option, the specter of not being able to drive yourself is terrifying. I'm still driving safely but I know when I get to the point that I can't, I'll still be able to live in my home. I miss living in the country but I'm thrilled that I have all sorts of alternate transportation along with so many delivery options available where we live now. Somehow, getting rid of so much stuff in the move was not nearly as hard as making the decision to move. Yes, I feel lighter and so much more free with less stuff but somehow that wasn't the best change. The best change was knowing I'll be fine in this house for a very long time.
Reading this had me considering what I've been doing for years. I've lived in condos for most of my life and travel was my drug of choice so I rarely collected things. I'm not the "souvenir" type. Instead, I have bucket loads of photos saved digitally. Those mean more to me than things, and when I'm gone, my grandchildren will learn more about me through photos than trinkets.
Having said that, I also have a good amount of my son's things still packed away. I've donated plenty to men's shelters but can't bring myself to part with all of it. But what if I want to do what you're doing? Spend my final decades in a different country? The only part of my son I can bring are photos and his urn. I feel ypu, Julia. It's hard emotional work to downsize. ❤️
It truly is, but god help me we are blessed to have options.
Julia, I called it “human molting” 10 years ago when (at 71) I readied to sell my house and had to reassess the “stuff” I’d been carting around for much of my adult life. It was THE most freeing experience and a lesson I take with me now. Downsizing is not a bad word, and it doesn’t necessarily mean we won’t accumulate new stuff that we have to reevaluate 10 years later. Now, please excuse me while I go through a closet full of shoes that I’ll never wear again. I think you’ll enjoy the piece! https://www.huffpost.com/entry/awful-pangs-of-decluttering_b_8677356
This is timely for me. The other night, I bumped into one of my many bookshelves and the whole thing collapsed, spewing at least a hundred books on the floor. I barely got out of the way. Sitting on the floor amidst these books that I have been meaning to read for years, I had to face the fact that I will never have time to read most of them. This morning, I went through the books, keeping a few that I really do want to read and boxed the ones I don't care about for Goodwill. Sometimes you have to say, "That thing is good. I like it, but I'm never going to use it."
Precisely what I am doing at my house. With some things it's almost gleeful to March of he boxes out the door.
Thanks for your post. It is a difficult transition.
I am fortunate. I had an inate belief that I didn't need photos of every moment, or memorabilia to remember my past. I knew that those moments became ingrained in who I am.
I have a box, one file box, of the important things that I could not let go of, items from my past before my children and some of when they were little. When I am gone they can explore that and see who I was before they existed, without being overwhelmed with a materialistic legacy.
I have downsized and downsized again, and then upsized a bit. But with the certain knowledge that the stuff I have around me is there to give me pleasure and once I'm gone, can be shipped off to Goodwill or 1-800-JUNK with my blessing. For me, certain objects have importance not because they're trophies, but because they're reminders.
That’s the distinction that can be hard. When releasing, I get to ask what’s most important. Hauling three saddles around as reminders….well,, I hope to have a horse that I can fit them on eventually but I ‘m running out of time!
Oh, man, that's tough. I love saddles. Maybe you get to choose one??
Dunno. If I go to Ecuador, those folks say to bring them, as to replace them is too dear to make it worth it. So for now, I;m keeping them. It’s a hard choice!
Less pants, more saddles, then ;-)
“How we treat others, how we treat ourselves are both better proof that life has not been wasted on us”. This is the best part of this post. Thank you! I downsized 4 years ago and it was a very cleansing process. I left a life behind and started a new one. With the current political situation I may have to it again and move back overseas. Good luck on your journey. At least you have life and zest left in you to tackle this move.