Fellow Eugenian here. Goodness, that pre-printed sign speaks volumes, doesn't it? How bitter and cheated by life do you have to feel to have a stack of those on hand? It makes me wonder - if I had to print up some signs to distribute to total strangers, what would they say? Whatever it is, I hope it would be something that would make the recipient feel better.
It was right in front of the downtown post office and Area 51. The parking is awful down there and I totally get the frustration, but really? To your point....that anyone carries a supply of those cards around is so telling!
I've been on both sides of this - the outraged person angry about someone else's asshattery but also the person wrongly accused of said asshattery. There are probably lots of times I should have apologized above and beyond the times I did apologize. Not sure what positive, uplifting signs I should print up for my use. Thanks for the cattle prod to encourage us all to do better.
I understand both sides and have lived both sides and been the asshat, Penny. All good reminders about how we show up and how we might want to choose better.
So timely, and yes, we put ourselves in this current nation of asshats position. We never know what is happening with anyone at any particular time. Let us please police our own behavior first before we go ham on others. Thank you for this very appropriate reminder to not be an asshat, which I am more often than I care to acknowledge.
I’m all in on this, Michelle. Guilty as charged, but the gift these days is that there is a little regulator alarm that goes off asking me what the hell is up with me that I feel like I need to control others. Great question. It always and forever comes back to me.
"Add value," I like that! Each day I try to "add value" to my husband's life by thinking what can I do for him today to make his life better. When I remember to do this we both have better days. Thanks for a good reminder.
So true Noel. When we do good, we feel good. When we speak good things, we transform ourselves. And we forget this every single day until we choose better and are completely renewed.
You are correct- a little grace goes a long way. In a way, you MADE THAT DRIVER'S DAY... he'd been driving around with that dumb orange card (probably for months) just waiting for the perfect time to place it on a windshield. In a way, I feel badly for him. He must have a tiny and fraught life.
I always look forward to a Julia read. It's pathetic that someone pasted that sign on your car. Who has the time? Yes, let's have some grace. Especially with ourselves.
I loved the idea of paying for someone's coffee in line! The other day, I paid for a guy a subway ticket after the automatic machine broke and he had no money. I felt altruistic.
"When the politically correct movement swelled into a tsunami of policing everyone for every damned thing that anyone ever felt was offensive, that’s just one reason we are where we are now with such a profoundly awful backlash." The road to our current hell has certainly been paved with a lot of good intentions — and I've been shouting this into the void for years now. My energy is better spent recalling the wise admonition to "be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle" — even including the asshat who left that sign on your car. I mean, how much pain has that person got to be in to even have such a sign ready to go?
There is no doubt that we all carry a bucket with pain in it, and those reasons are unique to us. That doesn't justify carrying a chip on our shoulders the size of a sequoia, with which we wallop the unsuspecting. I've been that asshole before and I understand where it comes from. I'm working on an article that addresses that very thing.
First up - best headline ever. Kudos. Secondly, the same thing happened to my partner a few weeks ago!! In my idyllic, middle-class, middle England, picture-perfect Cotswold village. Admittedly it wasn’t pre-printed (love that dedication!) - just a hand written note saying “congratulations on being an asshole”. Nice to have your entire character written off…
My cardinal rule in life is “Don’t be a dick”. I may now switch this to asshat in solidarity.
Thank you for an excellent commentary that reminds us that we have no idea what is going on in another other person's life, and no idea of the reason for their behaviour, and to be gracious.
Julia, I think we could all benefit from more patience and putting ourselves in another person's shoes. Cultivating more patience is one of my intentions for the year. I hope not to be an ass-hat. I can't believe people leave those kinds of note on a windshielf in any state!
Fellow Eugenian here. Goodness, that pre-printed sign speaks volumes, doesn't it? How bitter and cheated by life do you have to feel to have a stack of those on hand? It makes me wonder - if I had to print up some signs to distribute to total strangers, what would they say? Whatever it is, I hope it would be something that would make the recipient feel better.
It was right in front of the downtown post office and Area 51. The parking is awful down there and I totally get the frustration, but really? To your point....that anyone carries a supply of those cards around is so telling!
I've been on both sides of this - the outraged person angry about someone else's asshattery but also the person wrongly accused of said asshattery. There are probably lots of times I should have apologized above and beyond the times I did apologize. Not sure what positive, uplifting signs I should print up for my use. Thanks for the cattle prod to encourage us all to do better.
I understand both sides and have lived both sides and been the asshat, Penny. All good reminders about how we show up and how we might want to choose better.
So timely, and yes, we put ourselves in this current nation of asshats position. We never know what is happening with anyone at any particular time. Let us please police our own behavior first before we go ham on others. Thank you for this very appropriate reminder to not be an asshat, which I am more often than I care to acknowledge.
I’m all in on this, Michelle. Guilty as charged, but the gift these days is that there is a little regulator alarm that goes off asking me what the hell is up with me that I feel like I need to control others. Great question. It always and forever comes back to me.
💃🏻🕺Dance like nobody’s watching! Some wise person said. Keep on moving💕
"Add value," I like that! Each day I try to "add value" to my husband's life by thinking what can I do for him today to make his life better. When I remember to do this we both have better days. Thanks for a good reminder.
So true Noel. When we do good, we feel good. When we speak good things, we transform ourselves. And we forget this every single day until we choose better and are completely renewed.
I think I need to have a bumper sticker made that says No to asshattery. Or some similar message. 😍
You are correct- a little grace goes a long way. In a way, you MADE THAT DRIVER'S DAY... he'd been driving around with that dumb orange card (probably for months) just waiting for the perfect time to place it on a windshield. In a way, I feel badly for him. He must have a tiny and fraught life.
I always look forward to a Julia read. It's pathetic that someone pasted that sign on your car. Who has the time? Yes, let's have some grace. Especially with ourselves.
Thanks Ysabel. It speaks to a level of misery that this is how someone chooses to spend their lives.
I loved the idea of paying for someone's coffee in line! The other day, I paid for a guy a subway ticket after the automatic machine broke and he had no money. I felt altruistic.
Such actions are utterly transformational, Mateus.
"When the politically correct movement swelled into a tsunami of policing everyone for every damned thing that anyone ever felt was offensive, that’s just one reason we are where we are now with such a profoundly awful backlash." The road to our current hell has certainly been paved with a lot of good intentions — and I've been shouting this into the void for years now. My energy is better spent recalling the wise admonition to "be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle" — even including the asshat who left that sign on your car. I mean, how much pain has that person got to be in to even have such a sign ready to go?
There is no doubt that we all carry a bucket with pain in it, and those reasons are unique to us. That doesn't justify carrying a chip on our shoulders the size of a sequoia, with which we wallop the unsuspecting. I've been that asshole before and I understand where it comes from. I'm working on an article that addresses that very thing.
Me too, certainly, and I look forward to reading your piece on that sequoia-sized chip :-)
It will be taking back seat for a bit as I am getting ready to head to Ecuador for almost three weeks. Lots of horseback riding…I miss it!
Have SO much fun for me!!!
First up - best headline ever. Kudos. Secondly, the same thing happened to my partner a few weeks ago!! In my idyllic, middle-class, middle England, picture-perfect Cotswold village. Admittedly it wasn’t pre-printed (love that dedication!) - just a hand written note saying “congratulations on being an asshole”. Nice to have your entire character written off…
My cardinal rule in life is “Don’t be a dick”. I may now switch this to asshat in solidarity.
Precisely. Asshattery appears to be spreading faster than bird flu.
Thank you for an excellent commentary that reminds us that we have no idea what is going on in another other person's life, and no idea of the reason for their behaviour, and to be gracious.
Julia, I think we could all benefit from more patience and putting ourselves in another person's shoes. Cultivating more patience is one of my intentions for the year. I hope not to be an ass-hat. I can't believe people leave those kinds of note on a windshielf in any state!