Thanks for the shout-out out Julia! The FIRST thing I did after quitting my three-decade career was rest. I'm not good at resting. what I could do though, was try to be content with whatever I was doing or feeling in the moment and leave the decisions for further down the line.
OOOOOHHHHH and that is so hard. I'm so damned compulsive about being...compulsive! What a journey that is to appreciate being able to be down...that is a privilege many never get.
Once again, you’ve landed on just the right sentiments and words for the time. I was not expecting to experience the dormancy of unemployment this year, but here we are. A layoff forces a reset. I’m trying to balance the need to quickly put some things in motion with the need to just sit with the loss for a while. I’ve never been a type-A personality, never was especially ambitious about my career; I’ve zig-zagged through a variety of job titles and been good at most of them mostly due to an innate ability to learn and adapt. It feels different this time, though; I’ve been looking forward to retiring—albeit not quite this soon—and mixed in with the grief and anger and oh-my-god-we-need-the-steady-income-what-are-we-gonna-do is something I can only describe as relief.
I loved The Mists of Avalon and sadly had to include my paperback copy in our recent purging of stuff, but not before I bought it for my Kindle. It’s been years since I read it, so a re-read is clearly in order. I hope you’re kicking that virus to the curb!
I am sorry to hear you are/were down with a nasty virus. I had the same kind of thing totally knock the stuffing out of me and the recovery was much longer than I liked so your essay hit home for me. THANK YOU for reminding me that I should re-read The Mists of Avalon! I loved it the first time I read it years ago and it's time for a redo.
Also, I appreciate the lovely shout out. I am honored to be in such esteemed company.
Yep! Dormant for three years, and counting. And that's not including the previous two years of semi-dormancy for something else. But I've danced with words during my dormancy and published a poetry book. And I'm on a new treatment and it seems to be working so I'm tiptoeing out of dormancy into fun! A different fun, as I'll never be cured. But I'm a firm believer in silver linings. I just read your other piece about ORE trips and the one in Oregon sounds amazing! That's a bit of a stretch at the moment, especially with America the way it is, not to mention my wonky gut. But I'm looking forward to new adventures, because my life has always involved adventure.
Thanks for mentioning me, Julia! I love koalas and adore the photo you posted here to symbolize the "dormancy" theme. I also appreciate your insights of The Mists of Avalon. I did purchase a copy when you first mentioned it but didnt start reading it. Now your nuanced interpretation made me want to read it all the more.
In our achievement-oriented capitalistic culture, dormancy is given a bad rap and slapped with anxiety- and guilt-inducing labels. It's so hard to liberate ourselves from this conditioning.
I've gone through some really tough illnesses as many of us past middle age have experienced. I've realized that my body is always determined to reach me with the message that I truly needed to take a break from what burnt me out. No shortcut! It won't let me heal until I let go of my need to achieve! In finding things that bring me pure joy, my mind found peace. I believe it was this that created a cascading healing effect.
I wish you lots of rest during this dormant period, and sending you lots of love and good vibes for gentle healing 💕 !
Having the option to define who you want to be--this can be a blessing in and of itself, even though it feels like a struggle right now. Perhaps it's OK to not have an/the answer sometimes. Allow it to ferment 😁😉💗
Surgery after a year of being told, “You remind me of my mother, there’s nothing wrong with you” put me in a dormant period to recover, finally. I pushed myself through the year of ‘nothing wrong’ knowing something was very wrong. Now, I’m in between: recovered physically but not fully recovered mentally. I want to ‘get back’ to my old life but realize I need to find my way into this new phase of life. Yeah.
I sit down at the loom to weave and instead of enjoying what I love, internally I'm chanting "Must weave faster, must weave faster." because I know I'm getting old and don't have lots of time left. When I sit down to knit, internally I'm chanting "Must knit faster, faster, faster". The whole thing sucks. I'm sitting at my computer reading and as it gets later and later I'm thinking "No. No time for sleep if I want to get anything done." None of it helps. I don't get the knitting or the weaving finished any faster. I don't get the sleep I really need because it seems like such a waste of what time I have left. Go dormant? Oh, hell no. Just shoot me.
It looks like I may just have some important work to do.....
I am in a dormant stage myself, right now and am feeling resentment from too many obligations w/spouse "fighting me" about making necessary changes to our living situation (too big a house; need to downsize as this house, as large as it is, will not be navigable WHEN and IF a wheel chair becomes his means of moving about).
Thanks for the shout-out out Julia! The FIRST thing I did after quitting my three-decade career was rest. I'm not good at resting. what I could do though, was try to be content with whatever I was doing or feeling in the moment and leave the decisions for further down the line.
OOOOOHHHHH and that is so hard. I'm so damned compulsive about being...compulsive! What a journey that is to appreciate being able to be down...that is a privilege many never get.
Once again, you’ve landed on just the right sentiments and words for the time. I was not expecting to experience the dormancy of unemployment this year, but here we are. A layoff forces a reset. I’m trying to balance the need to quickly put some things in motion with the need to just sit with the loss for a while. I’ve never been a type-A personality, never was especially ambitious about my career; I’ve zig-zagged through a variety of job titles and been good at most of them mostly due to an innate ability to learn and adapt. It feels different this time, though; I’ve been looking forward to retiring—albeit not quite this soon—and mixed in with the grief and anger and oh-my-god-we-need-the-steady-income-what-are-we-gonna-do is something I can only describe as relief.
I loved The Mists of Avalon and sadly had to include my paperback copy in our recent purging of stuff, but not before I bought it for my Kindle. It’s been years since I read it, so a re-read is clearly in order. I hope you’re kicking that virus to the curb!
Feeling much, much better and thank you!
I am sorry to hear you are/were down with a nasty virus. I had the same kind of thing totally knock the stuffing out of me and the recovery was much longer than I liked so your essay hit home for me. THANK YOU for reminding me that I should re-read The Mists of Avalon! I loved it the first time I read it years ago and it's time for a redo.
Also, I appreciate the lovely shout out. I am honored to be in such esteemed company.
Get well soon💕
Yep! Dormant for three years, and counting. And that's not including the previous two years of semi-dormancy for something else. But I've danced with words during my dormancy and published a poetry book. And I'm on a new treatment and it seems to be working so I'm tiptoeing out of dormancy into fun! A different fun, as I'll never be cured. But I'm a firm believer in silver linings. I just read your other piece about ORE trips and the one in Oregon sounds amazing! That's a bit of a stretch at the moment, especially with America the way it is, not to mention my wonky gut. But I'm looking forward to new adventures, because my life has always involved adventure.
I hope you're feeling better. Go do things!
Love
Cesca xx
Katherine May’s book “Wintering” is exactly about this
Thank you! I suspect many damned good writers have penned excellent material. I’ll look it up, Lorna. I appreciate this.
Thanks for mentioning me, Julia! I love koalas and adore the photo you posted here to symbolize the "dormancy" theme. I also appreciate your insights of The Mists of Avalon. I did purchase a copy when you first mentioned it but didnt start reading it. Now your nuanced interpretation made me want to read it all the more.
In our achievement-oriented capitalistic culture, dormancy is given a bad rap and slapped with anxiety- and guilt-inducing labels. It's so hard to liberate ourselves from this conditioning.
I've gone through some really tough illnesses as many of us past middle age have experienced. I've realized that my body is always determined to reach me with the message that I truly needed to take a break from what burnt me out. No shortcut! It won't let me heal until I let go of my need to achieve! In finding things that bring me pure joy, my mind found peace. I believe it was this that created a cascading healing effect.
I wish you lots of rest during this dormant period, and sending you lots of love and good vibes for gentle healing 💕 !
You are so welcome, Lily. I'm struggling to redefine who I get to be next, and patience is not a virtue of mine.
Having the option to define who you want to be--this can be a blessing in and of itself, even though it feels like a struggle right now. Perhaps it's OK to not have an/the answer sometimes. Allow it to ferment 😁😉💗
That’s what’s been up for about five years. Still working on it!
Surgery after a year of being told, “You remind me of my mother, there’s nothing wrong with you” put me in a dormant period to recover, finally. I pushed myself through the year of ‘nothing wrong’ knowing something was very wrong. Now, I’m in between: recovered physically but not fully recovered mentally. I want to ‘get back’ to my old life but realize I need to find my way into this new phase of life. Yeah.
I sit down at the loom to weave and instead of enjoying what I love, internally I'm chanting "Must weave faster, must weave faster." because I know I'm getting old and don't have lots of time left. When I sit down to knit, internally I'm chanting "Must knit faster, faster, faster". The whole thing sucks. I'm sitting at my computer reading and as it gets later and later I'm thinking "No. No time for sleep if I want to get anything done." None of it helps. I don't get the knitting or the weaving finished any faster. I don't get the sleep I really need because it seems like such a waste of what time I have left. Go dormant? Oh, hell no. Just shoot me.
It looks like I may just have some important work to do.....
Way too familiar!!
Love the koala picture AND the message.
I am in a dormant stage myself, right now and am feeling resentment from too many obligations w/spouse "fighting me" about making necessary changes to our living situation (too big a house; need to downsize as this house, as large as it is, will not be navigable WHEN and IF a wheel chair becomes his means of moving about).
Continue becoming a diamond, Julia. 😉
Thanks, Linda. Trying hard. And I so understand. We are in good company.
Ahhh…thank you for the S/O 📣
You are so welcome~!
I needed to hear this today! Beautiful.