This is absolutely wonderful. And while I don’t wear dentures, I do have trouble getting up from the floor. I have been pulled to standing more than once, and have face-planted getting out of tents. Laugh or die, you know?
If you can't laugh.....don't get out of bed. Especially while old. I know you've heard this, but I strongly recommend Turkish get-ups which are a b*tch, but boy do they work. I am just getting back to them after two huge reconstructive surgeries on my feet, and they help. Major pain, but they help, if you can do them. Whatever you do keep going! The stories abound! Thanks for your kind words. Way I see it, the best stories are like this, if nuthin' goes wrong, there's something wrong with the trip!
Sometimes clients come to me with spreadsheets marking to the minute where they should be, what they will see, where they should stand for photos. I gently say I’m not the travel advisor they need. My favorite clients always room for the happy accident. Maybe not denture popsicles because that may go down as one of the best stories ever, but you know what I mean.
My African guides have told me horror stories of certain people who DEMAND to be able to see a cheetah making a kill. This isn't a movie. It's not Disney World. It's Nature. And She doesn't perform on command. If folks want that, watch Nat Geo. I once spent three weeks in Africa, saw very little, then one day we came around a corner in Botswana: thirteen lions finishing a kill, and we sat there for HOURS. Worth it? Every. Single. Second. People with spreadsheets do not belong in the wild. While I understand the urge, I fear those folks would fall apart into tiny pieces where I go. I'm sure there are trips for them.
My god, 13 lions finishing a kill - was the hierarchy of scavengers lined up waiting? Amazing. My last trip to Africa (pre-Covid) I was charged by an adolescent bull elephant - the guide told me it was a mock charge but to be very still lest he changed his mind. The bull stopped close enough that I could have touched his trunk, his tusks. Instead, he sniffed my hair, my face, rumbled slightly and wandered off. Depends help in situations like that. It was brilliant!
At that point, the weeds were so high that if hyenas et al were nearby we couldn't see them. But then, when the young males skulked off we couldn't see them either. Nor did we leave the car. Just saying.
OH MY GOD Julia! I've been following you for years and have never seen this story 🤣🤣🤣 This is hands down, my favorite of your travel stories LOL!!! See? You don't have to climb Everest to impress me....just f**k up and freeze your dentures and I'm good!
Oh there's plenty more where that came from. Most of my travel stories are in boxes from all my handwritten stuff, buried in my basement, beneath all that dust and dirt. I'm just revving up here!
What folks miss, especially people who want to travel and are fearful is this: say I go to Africa for my honeymoon. I return. Friends ask how it was. I say GREAT. Nothing bad happened. Long silence........oh. Okay. Next. OR HOLY SHIT our Jeep broke down out in Maasai country, we thought we were gonna DIE, all these people surrounded us, we were in the middle of NOWHERE. It took two weeks to get someone to us., Meanwhile we ate with them, slept in the bomas, played with the kids, learned how to herd cattle, laughed our asses off, got dirty and and explored and saw all kinds of animals. Frankly.....we didn't want to come back.
I could have either found a hidden underground cave....OR gone inside the cave with a bunch of banana leaves intending to light a fire and hang out half the day. But then the banana leaves were wet and burning them caused thick smoke to fill the cave and we thought we'd die in that underground graveyard where no one would have ever found us 🤣🤣 And when I published that life threatening story on my blog a reader ACTUALLY booked a trip to Jamaica and asked me to take her to the cave LOOOOL!
"Teeth" be told, I adore every word of this story. I laughed out loud. Thanks for the levity. Much needed during these dark and gloomy Midwestern winter nights.
Oh hell, Pam. I'm just warming up. I've got so many of those from the last twelve years and I can't wait to write more of them. Even better, LIVE more of them!
Julia, what a wonderful story! You are so brave! I laughed so hard I peed a little. This is so inspirational. I want to be just like you the next time I travel. Thanks for the inspiration!
This is absolutely wonderful. And while I don’t wear dentures, I do have trouble getting up from the floor. I have been pulled to standing more than once, and have face-planted getting out of tents. Laugh or die, you know?
If you can't laugh.....don't get out of bed. Especially while old. I know you've heard this, but I strongly recommend Turkish get-ups which are a b*tch, but boy do they work. I am just getting back to them after two huge reconstructive surgeries on my feet, and they help. Major pain, but they help, if you can do them. Whatever you do keep going! The stories abound! Thanks for your kind words. Way I see it, the best stories are like this, if nuthin' goes wrong, there's something wrong with the trip!
Sometimes clients come to me with spreadsheets marking to the minute where they should be, what they will see, where they should stand for photos. I gently say I’m not the travel advisor they need. My favorite clients always room for the happy accident. Maybe not denture popsicles because that may go down as one of the best stories ever, but you know what I mean.
BTW can I quote this? This is such a great line: the spreadsheets one. It will allow me to make such a great point (or three or four)
Yes, of course.
Stay tuned
My African guides have told me horror stories of certain people who DEMAND to be able to see a cheetah making a kill. This isn't a movie. It's not Disney World. It's Nature. And She doesn't perform on command. If folks want that, watch Nat Geo. I once spent three weeks in Africa, saw very little, then one day we came around a corner in Botswana: thirteen lions finishing a kill, and we sat there for HOURS. Worth it? Every. Single. Second. People with spreadsheets do not belong in the wild. While I understand the urge, I fear those folks would fall apart into tiny pieces where I go. I'm sure there are trips for them.
My god, 13 lions finishing a kill - was the hierarchy of scavengers lined up waiting? Amazing. My last trip to Africa (pre-Covid) I was charged by an adolescent bull elephant - the guide told me it was a mock charge but to be very still lest he changed his mind. The bull stopped close enough that I could have touched his trunk, his tusks. Instead, he sniffed my hair, my face, rumbled slightly and wandered off. Depends help in situations like that. It was brilliant!
At that point, the weeds were so high that if hyenas et al were nearby we couldn't see them. But then, when the young males skulked off we couldn't see them either. Nor did we leave the car. Just saying.
😂
OH MY GOD Julia! I've been following you for years and have never seen this story 🤣🤣🤣 This is hands down, my favorite of your travel stories LOL!!! See? You don't have to climb Everest to impress me....just f**k up and freeze your dentures and I'm good!
Oh there's plenty more where that came from. Most of my travel stories are in boxes from all my handwritten stuff, buried in my basement, beneath all that dust and dirt. I'm just revving up here!
I hope some of them are as hilarious as this one. I swear, some of my best stories are the mishaps and misadventures.
What folks miss, especially people who want to travel and are fearful is this: say I go to Africa for my honeymoon. I return. Friends ask how it was. I say GREAT. Nothing bad happened. Long silence........oh. Okay. Next. OR HOLY SHIT our Jeep broke down out in Maasai country, we thought we were gonna DIE, all these people surrounded us, we were in the middle of NOWHERE. It took two weeks to get someone to us., Meanwhile we ate with them, slept in the bomas, played with the kids, learned how to herd cattle, laughed our asses off, got dirty and and explored and saw all kinds of animals. Frankly.....we didn't want to come back.
Pick one.
Exactly. And that? Is storytelling at its finest.
I could have either found a hidden underground cave....OR gone inside the cave with a bunch of banana leaves intending to light a fire and hang out half the day. But then the banana leaves were wet and burning them caused thick smoke to fill the cave and we thought we'd die in that underground graveyard where no one would have ever found us 🤣🤣 And when I published that life threatening story on my blog a reader ACTUALLY booked a trip to Jamaica and asked me to take her to the cave LOOOOL!
This. This is why we write, Kristi.
Oh, and just saying, KK, some of my best are trying to find a place to fucking PEE.
I literally burst into laughter at this because.....if you know, you know 😂😂😂
"Teeth" be told, I adore every word of this story. I laughed out loud. Thanks for the levity. Much needed during these dark and gloomy Midwestern winter nights.
Oh hell, Pam. I'm just warming up. I've got so many of those from the last twelve years and I can't wait to write more of them. Even better, LIVE more of them!
Keep them coming. You're a gifted story teller. Love that!
That is very kind of you, Pam. I'll keep after it!
Julia, what a wonderful story! You are so brave! I laughed so hard I peed a little. This is so inspirational. I want to be just like you the next time I travel. Thanks for the inspiration!
I love laughing so hard that I lose it. It's worth it!