22 Comments
User's avatar
Joyce's avatar

Loved this! Every time I see another wrinkle, another fold, another weight gain I remind myself I look good for my nearly 67 years! There's always going to be thinner, heavier, prettier, less wrinkled, more wrinkled people our age(s). We need to embrace our individual beauty. We look damned good as we are!👍❤️

Expand full comment
JULIA HUBBEL's avatar

I'll back that up, Joyce. Great stance and so true.

Expand full comment
Lee Buchanan's avatar

I enjoyed reading this post. It really resonated with me. Most of my life I was slightly overweight but now at 71 I am slightly underweight, which makes me feel a bit fragile. All so silly to have been so worried about a bit of weight all those years!

Expand full comment
JULIA HUBBEL's avatar

That hits home for me, Lee. These days I am far more interested in what my body can do vs how I look.

Expand full comment
Sue Fagalde Lick's avatar

Beautiful. As I sit at the hospital in my stretchy clothes waiting for a blood test, you make me love my plush body.

Expand full comment
JULIA HUBBEL's avatar

I adore the word PLUSH.

Expand full comment
Fierce Goat's avatar

Julia...you are a beautiful writer. Your post really resonated with me.

Most of us spend a lifetime comparing our body to others. Or, should I wear this or that? For what?

Two summers ago I bought a soft-colored, light violet, straw-hat (to protect my already super wrinkled face) at the Dollar Store. I lost my courage to wear it....but eventually started going out with it. Cause, you know, really, who gives a F***!

You can't imagine all the compliments I get when I wear that hat. The first time I wore it, I got 3 compliments before I made it out of my building. HAHAHA

As it turns out, this hat has become a great source of glimmers for me. Glimmers - when I get a big kick out of something - take time to really, really, absorb it - and then, replay it in my mind later and laugh all over again.

I'm going to play now...might even buy a flowered dress!

Expand full comment
JULIA HUBBEL's avatar

So many thanks, Lise. May I kindly quote you?

Expand full comment
Fierce Goat's avatar

How flattering! Another good glimmer to start my day. Of course, yes!

Expand full comment
Beth L. Gainer's avatar

Sonja is beautiful, and your post is really excellent and thought-provoking. At times, I've been really hard on myself for having such a difficult time losing weight. It probably comes from my fat-shaming family. I love your prompt question: How are you already perfect? This is a difficult one to answer. I think I am perfect in my imperfection. I even wrote a post on embracing imperfection. No one is perfect, so we should accept our imperfect minds and bodies.

Thank you for this post!

Expand full comment
JULIA HUBBEL's avatar

Thanks so much Beth. We are all of us perfectly imperfect.

Expand full comment
Amalga's avatar

Writing to my heart. Particularly feeling desperate for love in the family but never achieving perfection. Now approaching 74 with my social engagements being the gastroenterologist on Monday and the hematologist/oncologist Friday. But I can still refuse to weigh in wearing street clothes so there’s that!

Expand full comment
JULIA HUBBEL's avatar

Gawd do I feel this. I know my PT more than my neighbors.

Expand full comment
Tina Derke's avatar

Wow did this resonate with me! I have spent a lifetime worrying about my weight, never feeling I was thin enough. Now at 73, I find it impossible to lose weight. I continue to berate myself one day & tell myself I need to accept myself the next. In this current world where everyone is taking Ozempic, etc. & getting thin, I really feel like I’ll be the last overweight person standing. Such a shame that I have never learned to be ok with me……

Expand full comment
JULIA HUBBEL's avatar

Those people who love you care far less about your extra weight than they do the anxiety it creates in your life. Power is letting that go. There are parts of me forever changed by surgeries and accidents, and mourning them is fine...then I must move on to what's next. I wish you a journey free of the baggage of judgment. I deal with it too, so this is personal.

Expand full comment
Tina Derke's avatar

Thank you, Julia ❤️

Expand full comment
Amy Brown's avatar

Ah Julia! Did you write this just for me? I am sure every woman reading it feels the same. Thank you for articulating so beautifully what so many of us feel and have experienced. At 64 I am trying hard to settle into my soft round body just as it is, to be exactly like your friend Sonja in her flowery dress. It has taken a lifetime but I am finally peacefully and gratefully owning my body for all it does for me, for its perfect imperfection and its flawsomeness. Now go out & buy yourself a flowery dress!

Expand full comment
JULIA HUBBEL's avatar

I read this to my friend Sonja who was so moved by it. Thanks from us both. YES this is for you. And all of us.

Expand full comment
Amy Brown's avatar

Thank you for your writing and for sharing Sonja with us💗

Expand full comment
JULIA HUBBEL's avatar

Wait until you see the photos she took of where we went. So wonderful to see my world through her eyes!

Expand full comment
Amy Brown's avatar

Ooh yes do share!

Expand full comment
Sheila (of Ephemera)'s avatar

A truly wonderful article, thank you!💕

Expand full comment