You're Too Old To Live in a Decrepit Ol' House
Too Old for This Sh*t: How to Take Your Life Back
Feeling old and “broke down” at forty? You’re not alone…
…but you might want to start doing something about that right now.
Dear Reader: This is a re-post of a piece I did a year ago. For those just recently joining me, this might be new. If not, more is coming. One way I take of this ol’ house is to take a break now and then. I’ve got company this weekend and we’re going to go play on the Oregon Coast.
When the alarm rings and your body feels suspiciously like the above photo, that’s feedback. The body is always talking to us; problem is we often aren’t paying attention.
If we ignore the chatter, then the shouting, for years, that’s how we can end up feeling raggedy both inside and out.
Oh, hell. At some point, our outsides- yep, and mine - are going to look pretty tattered. That doesn’t have to be the fate of our insides, though, which are always and forever remaking themselves based on how we treat them, feed them, respect them.
Don’t believe me? I will recommend Bill Bryson (of Walk in the Woods fame) for his amazing book The Body: A Guide for Occupants.
It isn’t just a joyful education in the astounding miracle that is us. It’s also a cautionary tale about the excesses that we commit and the prices we pay for said excesses.
Truth? By forty, sixty, eighty, you and I are way TOO OLD to be treating this remarkable “home” we inhabit like a ramshackle shack.
The gift of the Internet is that there is plenty of both information and research which speaks to all the things we can do to keep ourselves well-oiled, well-maintained and in excellent condition at any age.
ANY age, even allowing for what Time will inevitably steal.
Or, we can abuse and neglect ourselves, which begins between our ears.
Through our internal language, we talk ourselves into believing that we are ancient by twenty.
Your body gets the message fast. The power of words is immense. What we say it is, is the way it is.
Worse, we love to be right. So if you complain that your knees are TOO OLD to run, they will oblige you by getting sore.
Let’s discuss that for a moment, shall we? This is classic. In 2013, I was sixty. When I started running hills to prep for climbing Kilimanjaro, a friend of mine told me that I’d ruin my knees.
Balderdash.
When someone says something like this to you, look at their health habits first. The house she was living in-her body- had begun to crumble because she’d quit exercising herself.
Mind the source.
Ruining your knees from running is an old wives’ tale. It’s also a poor excuse to avoid hitting the road, because the research doesn’t support this claim. This article from NBC News touches on part of that.
From that piece:
It's widely believed, even among doctors, that using the joints more often, through a repetitive activity like running, makes the knee and hip cartilage deteriorate more quickly, upping osteoarthritis risk.
The Northwestern University researchers — including Hartwell, who was at Northwestern for the duration of the study, and a co-author, Dr. Vehniah Tjong, an orthopedic sports surgeon — found that wasn’t the case. (author bolded)
I ignored that friend and returned to running. My legs got stronger, and my knees are just fine, thank you very much. This might happen for you, too, if you aren’t carrying too much extra weight. That’s more dangerous for your knees than the running, so if that’s the case (as with all exercise) start where you are and with solid, thoughtful medical guidance to ensure you don’t injure yourself.
Let’s not let old wives’ tales and unsubstantiated claims ruin our chances for a better life.
The more we work our bodies, assuming we do so with respect and care, the better it performs.
You and I, with rare exception, were born to be athletes in our own right.
Now before you bury your phone in the drywall or my eyeball, let me explain.
I’m as clumsy as a masticating mastodon, but I turned myself into an an athlete at sixty. None of it is pretty.
I will NEVER be Simone Biles.
I will NEVER be Flo-Jo or anything even remotely like that.
I will also NEVER be Diana Nyad, arguably one of the finest aging athletes on the planet.
But I can- as can you- be the most amazing version of what we were given.
My body responds to work, just like yours will. In doing so, that turns us into the high-performing machines we are meant to be.
You and I are way Too Old to accept living in a broke-down, sagging ol’ house that is our body.
That just makes our Third Act miserable. Is that really how you want to go out? If not, what on earth can we do?
Lots.
This article from Harvard Health Publishing gives you a good idea of why it’s never ever too late to start.
From that article:
Today, only an estimated 40% of American adults get 150 minutes of moderate-intensity aerobic exercise a week, the low end of what the government recommends. And many people who do walk or get other aerobic exercise often don't meet the second part of the government's recommendation, twice-weekly strength training. Only 20% of adults meet that goal, says Dr. Phillips. "We're sacrificing our healthy older years by not moving," he says.
Often the barrier that keeps people from moving as much as they should is mental. "Some people assume, 'Well, I'm 70, I can't lift that, or I can't go skiing or bike riding, because I'm too old.' They can't, not because they physically would be unable to, but because they've made the decision that they can't mentally," says Dr. Phillips. "Even among those of us who are into fitness, there may be an exaggerated sense of 'I can't do that because I'm older.'" (author bolded)
Again, BALDERDASH.
Phillips points out that it begins between the ears.
All life quality begins there. You choose your life through your words, attitudes and then your actions.
Will you have limitations? You betcha.
Will certain conditions or changes in your body cause you to have to make accommodations over time or with injury?
You betcha. Sure has happened with me.
Are there some of us for whom disability or some other mishap has taken us past a point of no return? Of course. I hope that’s not you, but if so, you understand that sometimes the best we can do is manage our attitude about what life has handed us.
You can overcome much of that with attitude and the curiosity to find other ways to keep moving, such as changing a sport or going more slowly. That’s also between your ears.
Want more proof? Another book I will return to again and again is Dr. Becca Levy’s Breaking the Age Code.
Two of my fave quotes from this book:
“An example of the psychological pathway is the low self-esteem that develops among elderly people who have assimilated negative age beliefs.18 A letter I recently received from an older Englishwoman states in its opening: “Frankly I feel ashamed to be old. Why? Because society tells me it is shameful.” The behavioral pathway plays out as older people take in negative age beliefs and develop fatalistic attitudes about the inevitability of declining health in later life. They’ll sometimes then cut back on healthy behaviors, which in this grim light appear to be pointless.”
“In study after study I conducted, I found that older people with more-positive perceptions of aging performed better physically and cognitively than those with more-negative perceptions; they were more likely to recover from severe disability, they remembered better, they walked faster, and they even lived longer.”
Have difficulty believing that negative self-talk ages you? READ THIS BOOK.
Not only can it change your life, it might just save it.
My friend who told me I shouldn’t run? She never went back to swimming or yoga or soccer or any of the things which had kept her so healthy through her sixties. She began to curl over because she had given up.
That’s how we end up with a brokedown tumbledy ol’ house for a body. When our attitude gets creaky, the rest of us follows.
My physical residence, my actual home, is undergoing some construction right now. New floors, new drywall, paint and some structural work. Water damage, like neglect or disease in the body, right?
In a few weeks or months, my home is going to look shiny brand new ( okay okay, at least the parts that just got repaired). You and I can do that with our bodies if we can let go of the desperate need to just look young, and focus on helping our bodies work younger.
Even if all we get is incremental improvement, I’m all in. Because incremental improvement might make the difference between being able to walk or swim or play pickleball with friends every so often and never leaving your recliner.
You and I are way Too Old to accept “too old” as an excuse. You deserve to live in the fine mansion your body can be, at any age. It likely will take some work, but like any grand old home, it’s worth it.
Let’s play.
You just spent a few precious, irretrievable minutes with me. I hope it was worthwhile. If so I invite you to consider subscribing:
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Above all, let’s live long and well.