You're Too Old Not To Train Like An Athlete for the Worst Life Throws at You
Too Old for This Sh*t: How to Take Your Life Back from an Ageist Society
We are born athletes, even though we may not feel like one. We especially need that as we age
regularly comments on my posts. This lightly-edited quote is from one of her recent contributions. She is extremely kind and generous with her praise, but I wanted to highlight something that she did which is a powerful statement about how to deal with some of life’s low blows.
Beth writes:
My grand adventure is a medical one. As you know, I'm a breast cancer survivor. My big training came with my final surgery, a 10-hour double mastectomy with reconstruction that involved three surgeons, two of them microsurgeons.
It took 11 months of self-advocacy to fire the wrong doctors and hire the right ones for this life-saving surgery to take place. During these 11 months, I trained for the surgery like it was the Olympics: swam, ran, lifted weights, walked, etc.
While still a brutal surgery, I endured this adventure as well as possible because I was well-trained for it. And, as it turns out, I saved my life, as my supposedly "normal" breast was loaded with precancerous cells, threatening having cancer a second time. (author bolded)
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Beth’s story has a couple of points that I want to underscore here. First, she knew going in that this was going to be a life-or-death situation. If you have ANY doubts about your medical team, do something about it until you have one you trust.
I have already fired one inept kidney doctor this year and I am getting ready to fire another specialist. Early on in this difficult journey I fired doctor after doctor for arrogance, not listening, disregarding symptoms, calling me “hysterical” when I had solid evidence to prove I was right about something important.
I fired a urologist for insisting that I take a medication which, had I taken it, could have resulted in death from a burst colon or wearing a colostomy bag for the rest of my life. That one, I reported.
This is YOUR body. YOUR life. YOUR intuition screaming with that powerful Spidey sense that this feels wrong. Do something about it.
There are plenty of good doctors, excellent doctors. And then there are practicing doctors who are a danger to society. And there are good doctors worn thin and exhausted- we need to know the difference.
Then, assume nothing and work like your life depends on it. It DOES. Before I entered the period of 2018-2023 wherein I underwent twelve difficult surgeries I trained, trained hard, and as soon as I could I did my best to train again after healing.
Sometimes I could, sometimes not. Still, the work I did prior to the surgery made all the difference.
Granted I’ve been lifting for 51 years, but you can start any time, any day, and the results will be signficant. The work pays off in a body that will handle difficult procedures far more effectively. Chair yoga counts.
To Beth’s point, what I took into the surgical theater was my best body with the best chance of swift recovery. You’re helping your medical team and above all, you are helping yourself.
Your medical team cannot do the pre-surgical work. That’s on you and me.
Your medical team cannot do the post-surgical work. That’s on you and me.
Beth is alive today, an artist and writer, because she did the work. She got rid of an inept medical team and she found the right people. She wanted to live, and live well.
That’s a success story.
Here’s another:
Fellow writer
and his wife Diane walk regularly, eat a carnivore diet and are diligent about what they ingest. Recently Diane had some health scares. She’s fine now, but I know that her regular walks, the mindful food intake and her loving social system all worked to ensure not on her recovery but also getting back to walking as before.The older we get, the more we see doctors. Along the way, some things skew sideways as many of us have found. The best thing we can do is train for being ill and especially both old and ill, which is life’s way of reminding us to be grateful for days when we feel youthful and healthy. Train for those days, train for the worst.
Then winnow out those providers who can’t be bothered taking care of you like the one-off that you are. There’s only one of you and only one life. Let’s be in it fully.
Let’s play.
With thanks to Beth for her many kind comments. I did ask permission to use this quote but haven’t heard back yet. That said, I took a chance, as I believe Beth understands the importance of her story.
Thanks for taking an autumn walk today. My pupper and I are heading to the dog park to celebrate the waning days of October. I hope this inspired you to love yourself enough to get good care, as best as you can. If it was valuable, please consider supporting my work so that it continues to be free
If you know someone who is intimidated by a bad doctor, help them find a patient advocate. Consider
Above all, enjoy fall.
Julia, what an important and valuable post! Beth’s journey illustrates the importance of self advocacy. 11 ya my wife exhibited signs of breast cancer in a follow up diagnostic mammogram. Her mother had died that same spring of bladder cancer, so she struggled to make sense of what to do. I was her advocate and immediately requested the results from the mammogram: lobular carcinoma in situ with atypical ductal hyperplasia. She was immediately referred to a thoracic surgeon! Without having seen a cancer specialist. When we met with the surgeon I immediately stated we’d not seen a cancer specialist so why were we here? As she stammered over her words I stated we were leaving.
Next, the cancer Dx specialist. We were seated in her office and when she entered a bit later she screamed at Beth, “You have cancer. You should have addressed this already. You’re gonna die!” Of course Beth was in tears. I asked if she could explain the difference between cancer markers and actual tumors? Blank stare. At that point I indicated we would be leaving, but asked, “Do you read the NYT?” “Yes, why?” was her reply. I asked if she had read the front page article summarizing the findings of the bi-annual meeting of cancer specialists from all over the US. Their conclusion was simply stated, “We over diagnose and over treat ‘cancer’ at an alarming rate.” Her arrogant reply was, “If it had been there I would have seen it!” I replied, “Look again.” Looking at Beth I said, “We’re leaving now.”
We found the doctor we were looking for nearly 200 miles away. At the first appointment we were greeted with a kind smile, he hugged Beth, then proceeded to say, “This is very early stage cancer so we’re in no hurry to take immediate action. We will work as a team and together determine the course of action that is best for you. I classify these biopsy results as an ‘indolent lesion’.” Beth opted for a bi-lateral mastectomy with harvesting of the sentinel node plus one upstream from it. I became her home health care support in every capacity, including seeing signs of infection after the reconstruction/implants. I took several photos and sent same to the reconstructive surgeon then immediately drove to see the doctor the same day. The implant was removed & replaced two days after the initial debreeding and restitching steps.
This instance of two Beths having the same message shows the importance of self advocacy. If that’s difficult for some instances, please find a strong willed advocate to enlist as an advocate by proxy. Question the “specialists” and seek at least one other doctor’s opinion. Find and develop a support network. Crying is a great release of tension and worry. Don’t feel reluctant!
Julia, sorry to have gone on so long. Knowledge is power. Thanks for your championing tough causes and leading by example.
I love Beth's medical self advocacy and believe we should all be like her. Ten years ago I fired 9 gynecologists who all suggested a hysterectomy for my gigantic fibroids. I listened to myself and insisted on keeping my uterus. Finally, after 5 years I found a stellar surgeon who did a wonderful job removing my fibroids and keeping my uterus. During those five years, I trained like a professional ballet dancer and ate the best diet for my body type. My recovery was swift and I came back strong. This was a lesson in trusting my own body's ability to heal while doing the work to facilitate the healing.
I appreciate your reminder for your readers to take responsibility for our own health!