At 59, I started learning (really learning) to play piano. Then, I got married. Then, Covid happened and I lost my job so I started REALLY learning to play piano while I was stuck at home with nothing much to do. Here I am four years later and I'm in a "band" of sorts, with my husband (who is a very healthy 76 and says "you never see a fat 90 year old") -- a band with my husband and another couple. I've always always always wanted to be a singer. And the funny thing is I was surrounded by musicians my entire life. I even worked at a recording studio. But I always assumed I wasn't any good at singing because nobody ever invited me to join in. Here I am at almost 64 and I'm singing and playing drums (I decided I liked that better than piano) in a band! Pinch me. The only problem: I was "the video/photography person" all those years for all the musicians I was working with. Who's gonna video us? haha
Look up Tom Vanderbilt's bright yellow and wonderful book about Beginners. He learned to sing at fifty, and much more, and his journey is worth reading for more reasons than one. It ain't over til it's over Kathy!
In the past year I’ve realized I spent my whole life trying to be something that appealed to anyone else. I feel like I’ve finally mostly given that up but at 48 am going to have to learn to figure out what that bird even wants to do. When I think about it my mind is blank, that’s scary. I have much work to do to overcome the overwhelm of day to day life, to free up space to discover what makes that bird sing.
Carrie, that blank is there for a damned good reason. Sometimes we have to do an awful lot of housecleaning of all the stuff that other people want us to do which has little to nothing to do with us. When we can start saying NO, that doesn't serve me, we may end up with....blank space. At first that can be terrifying when we are asking well, whaddya want, self? That's the start of it. It may take a while. But you will find something, and then more things, then better things. It happens, it's just beginning that can feel so awkward.
I see him getting all kinds of love on LinkedIn. People do NOT know what they're seeing. When I commented on it you can imagine the blowback. It's not about Goggins. It's about extreme extreme extreme.
"Puts the bird in my chest" -- what a great phrase. I am deeply grateful to have gotten to a stage in my life when I have the time, space, and guts to let my bird sing. Cheers, Julia.
I was so struck by that phrase. Safina is a scholar and I suspect that it's from one of the greats, but if you Google it, you get a very recent coming of age novel. So I may not be able to locate it easily. I sure can locate that bird, though. Thanks.
I wish I knew. I give Safina credit and strongly recommend his multiple prize-winning, breathtaking books, all of which I own, and love, and which feed my soul.
I saw a headline today about a 45-year-old bicyclist who biked 100 km a day for 42 months straight, and then he died of a heart attack. The cause was purportedly over exercising and causing heart damage. But to all outward appearances, he looked like a young fit guy.
Part of me is wondering, didn’t he have a car? And didn’t he have anything better to do with his life than bike every day, all day long? Crazy.
At 59, I started learning (really learning) to play piano. Then, I got married. Then, Covid happened and I lost my job so I started REALLY learning to play piano while I was stuck at home with nothing much to do. Here I am four years later and I'm in a "band" of sorts, with my husband (who is a very healthy 76 and says "you never see a fat 90 year old") -- a band with my husband and another couple. I've always always always wanted to be a singer. And the funny thing is I was surrounded by musicians my entire life. I even worked at a recording studio. But I always assumed I wasn't any good at singing because nobody ever invited me to join in. Here I am at almost 64 and I'm singing and playing drums (I decided I liked that better than piano) in a band! Pinch me. The only problem: I was "the video/photography person" all those years for all the musicians I was working with. Who's gonna video us? haha
PS May I quote you, Kathy?
Sure!!
Look up Tom Vanderbilt's bright yellow and wonderful book about Beginners. He learned to sing at fifty, and much more, and his journey is worth reading for more reasons than one. It ain't over til it's over Kathy!
I shall look for that book. Thank you for the suggestion.
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
In the past year I’ve realized I spent my whole life trying to be something that appealed to anyone else. I feel like I’ve finally mostly given that up but at 48 am going to have to learn to figure out what that bird even wants to do. When I think about it my mind is blank, that’s scary. I have much work to do to overcome the overwhelm of day to day life, to free up space to discover what makes that bird sing.
Carrie, that blank is there for a damned good reason. Sometimes we have to do an awful lot of housecleaning of all the stuff that other people want us to do which has little to nothing to do with us. When we can start saying NO, that doesn't serve me, we may end up with....blank space. At first that can be terrifying when we are asking well, whaddya want, self? That's the start of it. It may take a while. But you will find something, and then more things, then better things. It happens, it's just beginning that can feel so awkward.
Wow, that’s scary. That’s David Goggins level self harm.
I see him getting all kinds of love on LinkedIn. People do NOT know what they're seeing. When I commented on it you can imagine the blowback. It's not about Goggins. It's about extreme extreme extreme.
"Puts the bird in my chest" -- what a great phrase. I am deeply grateful to have gotten to a stage in my life when I have the time, space, and guts to let my bird sing. Cheers, Julia.
I was so struck by that phrase. Safina is a scholar and I suspect that it's from one of the greats, but if you Google it, you get a very recent coming of age novel. So I may not be able to locate it easily. I sure can locate that bird, though. Thanks.
Whoever is the originator of that phrase, I fully intend to pay her/him/them the compliment of stealing it.
I wish I knew. I give Safina credit and strongly recommend his multiple prize-winning, breathtaking books, all of which I own, and love, and which feed my soul.
We are so singing from the same hymn sheet on ageing, Julia, A wonderful post. It's never too late to let your bird sing.
“…run for office,…”. Wouldn’t recommend it at this stage. There are already two geezers in the USA that are too old doing just that.
Thanks for the mention!
I saw a headline today about a 45-year-old bicyclist who biked 100 km a day for 42 months straight, and then he died of a heart attack. The cause was purportedly over exercising and causing heart damage. But to all outward appearances, he looked like a young fit guy.
Part of me is wondering, didn’t he have a car? And didn’t he have anything better to do with his life than bike every day, all day long? Crazy.
this might be part of it. https://www.stlukeshealth.org/resources/dangerous-side-effect-extreme-exercise