When Your Dreams Are Full of Rapids, Is It Time to Go Rogue?
You're Too Old to Spend the Rest of Your Life on the Couch: Let's Adventure!
When is it time to live your dream life? What are you waiting for?
Not the X-Men Rogue. Real Rogue. As in go rogue against the life that people expect you to live, especially as we also go grey.
If you don’t plan to “go gentle into that good night”, this article is for you.
If you’d rather go rogue- even just once in a while- than live out the rest of your life in a recliner, this article is for you.
If you don’t know how to start, or have doubts that this can be part of your life, this article is for you.
Not far from where I live here in Oregon, the magnificent Rogue River tumbles its way West to the Pacific from the Cascades. The Rogue is one of the original eight great rivers named in the Wild and Scenic Rivers Act of of 1968.
Imagine rafting on that river. I plan to do just that this year as part of the adventures on my list.
I also plan to decorate next year with zip lines and big hikes and horse rides and plenty more adventuring. The thrilling kind.
There are plenty of very capable guides and outfitters who can help me realize all of that; not just here but all over the world.
Imagine living rogue, not doing what’s expected of you at any given age. Especially after an age when society expects us to melt into the couch with our cats, our coffees and our catalogs of reruns from the Seventies.
If your knee-jerk response to the idea of going rogue was “I could never do that,”
We need to talk.
We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.
I’m a 70-year-old adventure athlete. I didn’t even start doing this kind of serious adventuring until I was sixty. I’m no graceful athlete either.
If there’s a pebble on the path I’ll stumble on it, but that doesn’t keep me from playing in the outdoors. I just bring plenty of band-aids and a big sense of humor. Besides, my pratfalls are my best stories.
Try freezing your dentures in a water cup in your tent in Western Mongolia’s Altai Mountains. True story.
I’ve never laughed so hard in my life.
So before we say we could never do that, can we please talk about what later-in-life adventures could look like?
Let’s start with what’s between your ears: that wonderful brain of yours.
Right around fifty, we shift from fluid intelligence to crystallized intelligence, which means that we are now using those fifty-plus years’ worth of life to start considering things more carefully and with greater depth and context.
That’s a huge advantage in ways we often don’t recognize.
After fifty, you and I can actually be better equipped in some ways to head to the hills, because we’re more thoughtful about the risks we take. We’re also more aware of our bodies, and in many cases more aware of what we can’t or shouldn’t do.
This is just one reason why we silver hairs are successful at summiting Kilimanjaro, more so than some of the young, very fit people who want show the mountain who’s boss.
So in other words, being older can be in many ways a great setup for success in the wild. If you’re disabled, and I’m a disabled veteran, don’t let that decide the rest of your life for you.
There’s plenty of adventure designed for you, too.
If you just gave me the side-eye, here’s something for you to consider:
The world of adventure is changing. That means that it might be time for you to envision yourself in it, too.
The softer versions of raft trips, hikes and ziplines are perfect for people who prefer or need a soft up-ramp into the world of the wild. You don’t have to go to Patagonia first. You can do all this and more here in America, in some of the world’s most beautiful and iconic places.
Can you really do that?
Of course you can. We begin where we are. So let’s start with how we can talk ourselves out of a life with a little rogue in it.
Too many of us lock ourselves out of life because of age myths.
First and worst about the outdoors:
This is a “young man’s game.”
Blarney.
The wild belongs to all of us. The wild needs us to learn it and love it so that we don’t lose it. The more you and I explore, the more likely we are to spend more time in Nature. It heals us, renews us and makes our souls youthful again.
You and I, young and old, all colors, genders and abilities belong in the wild.
Whatever appeals to you, whatever you dream of, the chances are that there are outdoor adventures geared to your physical level so that you can get out and get active in your way.
Another terrible myth:
I’m too old to do this.
Double blarney.
Too old begins in our noggins, supported by media messaging. Why? It sells silly stuff, based on fear. The truth is that your attitude has vastly more to do with what’s possible than your age.
For reference, please check Dr. Becca Levy’s marvelous and life-changing book Breaking the Age Code: How Your Beliefs About Aging Determine How Long and Well You Live.
If you want to know how to break out of the “old age” prison, that’s your book.
Your best life begins with deciding that your final third is going to be your most amazing, then giving yourself permission to have a life dotted with a little daring.
Recently Alfredo Aliaga, a 92-year-old Spaniard who lives in Berlin, did the rim-to-rim hike in the Grand Canyon. While you most certainly don’t have to do something that epic, the point is that such experiences, and many versions of them, are available to many more of us than we may believe.
Finally, one more myth:
I’m too old to learn new things. Especially new physical skills.
Triple blarney.
Your good brain loves a challenge. Its wonderful plasticity comes alive every time we try something new. This doesn’t stop no matter how old we get.
What does get in our way is not wanting to look foolish, fail or face-plant.
So for those of us who are older, my guess is that FOLS (Fear of Looking Stupid) will shoulder FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) right off our life path.
FOLS is a thief- of your life, your joy, your right to play in the wild no matter how old we are.
We encourage kids and toddlers to fail constantly. Somewhere along the way we get more concerned with our ego than our love of life, which invariably involves the occasional flop.
At fifty, we have a whole lifetime of practice at being a beginner.
If you want a resource on how wonderful being a beginner can be, I heartily recommend Tom Vanderbilt’s Beginners: The Joy and Transformative Power of Lifelong Learning.
We’re actually quite good at it. All you and I need to do is invite the kid out to play, and take things slowly and easily.
It was the kid in me who found my Mongolian denture popsicle so hilarious. That’s a superpower and we can all build it at any age.
Your inner beginner, the childlike part of you that loves play, will thank you for it.
So will your brain.
I spent twelve years, from age 58 to seventy, learning new sports, trying new things, failing and falling and flopping and laughing so hard my sides hurt.
I can’t wait to get back out again in 2024. Learn new sports. Do other foolish things for more terrific tales. That is how I stay youthful.
The outdoors is our fountain of youth, and it’s waiting for all of us.
But wait, there’s more!
Research shows that the more time you and I spend in the natural world, the more we benefit. Stress levels drop, our short-term memory improves, our self-esteem rises, self-confidence improves. Add a river rafting experience, a yurt, a gentle hike, a starlight-studded dinner with new friends, and you might wonder why it took you so long to get out into the wild.
Indeed. What are you waiting for?
The world of adventure sports includes every level imaginable, from gentle kayaking and staying in comfortable riverside lodges to more rustic, remote and challenging adventures.
Your safety is always first, and trained guides are attuned to what you’re going to need to find your inner kid.
There’s only one real danger: once you let that inner kid out, it’s awfully hard to reel them back in.
The world of adventure isn’t just on National Geographic and reality TV. It can be part of your life, too, but safer, more comfortable, and designed with you in mind. The way to begin is to, well, begin.
The best way to begin is to start with trained, professional outfitters and guides. I never go to any new place without one. Begin here, by ordering a directory of outfitters from America Outdoors, the professional association for outfitters.
The whole world opens up to you with a single click. Take a look at what’s close to you. Consider what’s available in those gorgeous places you dreamed about but perhaps too-quickly decided were out of reach.
Then make some inquiries. You don’t have to be Bear Grylls to get out and play in this gorgeous world.
You just need to give yourself permission.
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
With your one wild and precious life?
-Mary Oliver
Let’s play.
Thank you for dreaming a little with me. I hope you’re inspired, no matter your age, ability or condition, to at least consider. I don’t expect you to do what I do. I just want to invite you to investigate. Curiosity is the beginning of so many good things.
If this article was useful to you, please consider
If you have friends who might need a little inspiration, please also consider
Either way, what will 2024 hold for you? The great outdoors is waiting.
I'll get to that, and I was thinking of it as I wrote it. The good news is that the world is full of smaller, local operations which don't require your first born male child in payment. Since I'm a disabled veteran, I can't afford the big stuff either unless I trade for stories, which is how I've done it in the past. That door has been closing as influencers shouldered in and, sadly, really muddied the water with some of their deeply disrespectful behavior in other cultures and places. New world indeed.
Lots more to come on this topic. If I include all the stuff about budgeting the piece would have been way too long. I'll get there. I'm dedicating a whole series to the topic, so accessibility based on budget will be part of it. Not disrespectful at all, it's a key piece of the puzzle.
My 52 mile hike in Maine's Wilderness with @Jenny O'Connell who writes @Wild story was life altering. My guides and fellow hikers were half my age and taught me so much. I wrote about it for anothe outlet, but I'm about to go rouge and add it here. 🌄