What She Said: At Some Point You Will Be Too Old and You Will Die Badly
Too Old for This Sh*t: How to Take Your Life Back from an Ageist Society
Are you not worth caring for right this second?
My first cousin’s daughter died a few days ago. She was barely 51. Once a vibrant, beautiful woman, she deteriorated rapidly. I had only met her once, but lived through this experience with my first cousin.
It was horrible. Horrible for my cousin, horrible for this young woman, horrible for her family.
But it also reminded me of how the choices we make have everything to do with how we end up, the results we get, the body we inhabit.
We are a society with remarkable access to all kinds of information, well-researched and well-written books that we can get from the library, tons of valid information from the best institutions on nutrition, nutritional studies and the like.
There is nearly unlimited information about the dangers of alcohol, smoking, sugar, ultra-processed foods, drugs, sedentary habits, isolation and just about every damned thing that ails us right now.
You and I cannot argue that we just didn’t know. Didn’t realize. While in some isolated places where access to information as well as decent nutrition are going to be pockets full of health problems, the rest of us have no excuse.
Forgive me, but NONE.
I’ve been obese. I’ve abused my body with eating disorders. I smoked heavily for three years as a teenager. I’ve done horrible things to my body, so this is not a diatribe delivered from some holier-than-thou position.
Been there, done that. So before someone accuses me of otherwise, I’ve made some of these mistakes.
People who become addicted to so-called “clean eating” (you still shit, your shit still stinks, and there is no such thing) end up with yet another disorder: orthorexia. From the National Eating Disorders Association:
Although being aware of and concerned with the nutritional quality of the food you eat isn’t a problem in and of itself, people with orthorexia become so fixated on so-called ‘healthy eating’ that they actually damage their own well-being and experience health consequences such as malnutrition and/or impairment of psychosocial functioning.
We have access to good information then turn it into a compulsion. We can choose otherwise. Of course it’s hard. Self-care can be VERY hard. But if you don’t do it, surely nobody else will.
This article was inspired by fellow adventurous woman
Dr. Olivier writes a lot about health, as she sees some of the worst of what poverty can do.
Worse than that, you and I live in a rich, rich, RICH society that is still living in a poverty of health because of our mental poverty.
This recent Note of hers on Substack really caught my eye, and is worthy of your full attention. I am directing this not just to those of us past fifty whose bodies are sending us love letters about how we treated them.
This is also going to those of us privileged enough to have the OPTION to eat well, exercise regularly, create social circles and have a purpose. Astoundingly, we are poorer in many ways than Dr. Olivier’s poorest patients.
I have seen those people. I have been to Madagascar, ridden through the villages, bought fruit from the vendors. Played with their kids and the many stray dogs. In some ways they are richer than we are, in ways which are criminal, because we have options.
This re-post of Dr. Olivier’s note is especially for those in rich societies who are in their twenties, thirties and forties, this is for you, as the decisions you make right now make or break you later.
From Dr. Olivier:
Dear Over Weight, Diabetic, Hypertensive, Emphysema, previous Cardiovascular Disease Patients,
I say this with pragmatic empathy, your choices have lead to your disease.
I had a diabetic, hypertensive patient whining about his loss of lifestyle when I advised to eat two meals per day and cut out carbs, sugars and alcohol, in order to avoid using 40 units of insulin per meal and to heal his diabetes (yes, diabetes can be healed).
Now, months later, he is nearing his end with aggressive dementia, delirium, incontinence, and no money for home-based care or money to go to hospital and his elderly wife is suffering with the dire consequences.
Life is about choices, all those diseases I mention above, they dictate your short-, medium- and long-term quality of life, and how you end your days, and how those around you are impacted during your plummeting quality of life.
Because believe me, as a doctor with 20 years of experience, I see the absolute nosedive in people's health.
And the slow, protracted agonizing deaths.
Stop thinking of today and of only yourself.
The decisions you make today about what you eat, how you eat, how you move, smoking, drink - these will determine your freedom.
And your suffering.
And the suffering of those around you.
I witness most patients keep doing the same thing, hoping for a different outcome, and then complain about their suffering and the cost of medical.
Good free health is your choice.
Keep being your own hero, and doctor. Make better choices for yourself daily.
Dr Jane x (author bolded)
You cannot, cannot argue with her. She’s dead-on right.
Barring unexpected disease, a sudden accident or disability, 75% of how we age is in our hands.
Many of us in America right now are in a state of real shock, trauma, suffering and pain because of the current administration. I get it. Me too. But I am NOT going to eat, drink and drug my way through whatever comes next.
I want my entire brain and body in full alert mode, looking at options, choosing to give myself a daily vacay from shit news, staying away from shit food, exercising this aging body and doing all I can to stay on top of things rather than let bad news, age, chosen decrepitude and despair define my final third.
If you and I are not only going to make it through the tough times, kindly, we need to take care of ourselves. Aging will be THE toughest times you will ever go through, guaran-damn-teed. Ask any of us who are living through it just how easy it is as our bodies change, joints hurt and need replacement, major organs scream screw you!! and just shut down.
Ask us how easy it as as all the results of dumb choices and brutally stupid habits come home to roost late in life.
You and I are worth caring for. Nobody is coming to save us. We have to save us. Those choices are in front of us all day every day in a rich society.
Be your own doctor. Don’t end up with a terrible illness barely halfway through your life. While some are indeed just pure bad luck, so much of this is preventable. Let’s take loving care of ourselves.
Let’s play.
Below: the author at play in Madagascar:
With heartfelt thanks to Dr. Jane for the inspiration and to my subscribers and supporters.
Hey Julia, you’re singing my song and many thanks to the doctor - she speaks the truth. As a health and wellness and life coach, personal trainer and fitness specialist I have seen more than you can imagine in terms of people who have abused their bodies. Of course, I have no space to brag having been brutal on my body in what would have been termed, “healthy ways”. I was a competitive body builder back before people had common sense when it came to body building.
I am now, 30 years later, continuing to rehab the body I tore apart being oblivious to the harm I was doing.
But, here’s the good news: I was able, you are able (and doing), and so is anyone else who desires it, to change our habits and begin to do what will enhance the rest of our lives. It really is not too late … but it’s expensive. It costs time, diligence, determination, discipline, commitment, honesty and deliberation. Oh, and that’s just before you start. But it’s so worth it.
Health-span -- such an important concept. And there's so much we can do. I know you live the big adventures with movement, my movements are smaller. But today I did two walks totaling forty minutes and I swam for a half an hour. I'm blessed to have a diet that's been pretty much protein and veggies for decades now, and I love to be in nature. This is my health regime. Not extreme and kind to these grateful old bones. Life is good. I love that I always learn something from your pieces, or at the very least, nod along with a smile on my face. Big hugs.