Too Old For This Sh*t: On Being an Aggrieved Asshole Whiny B*tch

Too Old for This Sh*t: How to Take Your Life Back from an Ageist Society

Photo by Xia Yang on Unsplash

A writer delivers a lesson, and why I’m grateful

One reason I love my readers: if ever I need humbling, read their work or comments

Over the past few years, certain terms have come into the general vernacular as hurled insults. For example, snowflake, whiny bitch. The asshole part has never gone out of style, happily. Usually those are directed at Liberals, most often Progressives. Asshole seems to be pretty universal.

It’s inevitable that those doing all the pointing are some of the worst offenders, but you already know that.

In the largest sense, it appears that many are people who, after having ensured that they (often as White males) retain most of life’s privileges, become whiny, aggrieved bitches when they are being asked to share the sand box with historically- marginalized peoples.

This seems especially true in countries where colonizers were quite happy to rape, pillage and plunder, and those pesky locals would appreciate a part of the profits. Maybe even protect their sacred sites from more mining.

This isn’t that article, but you can include the MAGA-hat folks who are still living on the wrong side of history (the Civil War, that is) and putting up Make America White Again billboards, when we never were to begin with. But I digress.

Here’s what the Urban Dictionary says:

One who complains, moans, bitches, or is an all around annoying dramatic pussy.

Let’s also define aggrieved:

unhappy and angry because of unfair treatment

Said “unfair treatment” is often perceived.

When told that he has to share his toys, or half a cookie with his sister, a bratty toddler instantly becomes aggrieved.

UNFAIR UNFAIR UNFAIR.

We won’t point out adult toddlers. We’ll let

Jeff Tiedrich

do that, and thank you Jeff.

So, today’s article. You can see what’s coming, or at least I think you can.

Those of you new to me may or may not know I came over to Substack from Medium. Five dedicated years of hard work, and it didn’t end well. The last time they changed the payment algorithm in 2022, it ended my company and nearly ended my home ownership.

The freefall was spectacular, and I am still trying to recover. Getting there. It’s highly entertaining having to start all over again at 70, but I’m hardly alone.

Two side comments here. Okay, four:

1. Diversify diversify diversify. Medium controls how you get paid and how much, different from over here.

2. Then, follow my own advice, dummy. Most of my eggs were in one basket, so when something shifted, and it always does, and it goes blooey, you go down with it. I nearly did. I’ve taught this for years. Why it didn’t dawn on me that I’d set myself up to fail, I dunno. We all get to go stupid.

3. Medium owes it to its owners to turn a profit. If that means shit-canning authors, even their best, along the way, so be it. They don’t owe anything to us. Welcome to capitalism. I’ve worked for big corporations for years; they do NOT care if fifty small suppliers are upended because they decided to change a widget in their production line. Tough.

4. Nobody gives a flying shit whether or not you up and leave, complain or anything else. Really. Well, other than other people looking for validation and someone to join in their pity party. You look like a whiny bitch.

Are a whiny bitch.

Look. I really hate it when someone calls me out on my shit. Okay, for about ten seconds. Then I get to see that my reaction to having been called out is monumentally useful and helpful. To wit: long-time writer’s writer

Linda Caroll

posted this piece today which got me right between the eyes:

Sour Grapes About Medium

…A year ago I almost left Medium. I had deleted a couple of dozen posts. Was deciding what to leave when I slink off into the shadows. Then one day it dawned on me what I was doing. I’d drunk the whine.

There are always people leaving Medium. Way back in 2018, big writers left. In 2019, 2020, every year since the payment program started. People sharing their glass of whine about how it’s not paying well. Not worth it. And I drank the whine.

Every time a big name leaves, there will always be die-hard followers who jump on bandwagon to defend them. Throw out drama like confetti at a parade. If so and so left, what hope is there. Omg, Medium sucks. Blah, blah, blah. (author bolded)

It’s worth reading this post if for no other reason than that there is always someone crowing about the imminent death of (Medium, et. al.) I did it. People agreed with me.

We were wrong.

We all get to be wrong some days. Just as most if not all of us also get our turn in the asshole barrel. It was embarrassing to read this article because she was talking about me.

Not directly, but I did some of those things.

You and I are WAY Too Old not to take responsibility for when we’re being brats.

Linda and I have followed each other for a long time over on Medium. Like others, she saw my frustrations and my departure (in a huff, I might add).

What, Medium is going to die now that I’m not getting paid the way I want any more? I’m THAT important?

GTFU.

Talking to myself here.

I did leave Medium - in other words, I stopped posting original material or reposted articles - in June 2022. I’d started a blog, WalkaboutSaga.com, to focus on topics important to me.

Forty of the eleven thousand followers I’d worked hard to develop migrated to my Patreon site, which hasn’t done what I’d hoped for a variety of reasons.

First, the blogosphere world has changed a lot in the last few years. There is no one model, no sure-fire way to succeed; all I knew is that I needed to have an email list that wasn’t owned by someone else.

Second, you and I have a hard time competing for eyeballs without enough of a community. I thrive in community. I am a lot happier tagging others’ good work and pointing my readers to other talent.

I missed the camaraderie inherent in these writing platforms, which is why I’ll be moving my other blog to Substack later this year.

Substack allows us to deal directly with those folks who like our work. It’s harder to get subscriptions; we have to work for them. Medium made writing relatively easy, but we paid for the convenience of not having to pitch ourselves to get subscribers by being on the receiving end of any major changes.

Barring a buyout and change of business model, here on Substack we aren’t subject to the vagaries of corporate decisions. As Linda points out, what works for you depends on what you’re trying to accomplish.

At least for now this is a much better place for me to set down roots.

I could have done it without the aggrieved whiny bitch act.

There are few things so valuable as to be able to read about poor behavior in someone else’s post, recognize yourself in that description and have the chance to own it publicly.

Photo by Ryan Franco on Unsplash

There are plenty of aggrieved, whiny bitches around who can’t stand to share a piece of the pie. At the largest scale, said pie was meant for all mankind, not just White and most-often-male Christian Nationalists. (There’s a place in South Africa where they’d fit right in.)

That said, there are plenty of aggrieved whiny bitches angry that life didn’t turn out the way they wanted, and who feel owed.

We’re owed nothing. We earn everything. We were given life. It’s up to us what we do with it.

I can be grateful or I can be resentful. As someone who likes to think I take responsibility for all my actions, when I show up as an asshat and we all do at times, I get to be grateful for the chance to own it.

That’s why I like writing communities. Like I said, if ever I need humbling, read their work or comments.

Ever show up aggrieved? Like a whiny bitch? Join the club. It’s eight billion strong. We’re in good company. We’re in better company when we choose to do better.

Let’s play.

Photo by Kristin Brown on Unsplash

Thanks for reading. Articles like this are fun for me once I’ve gotten over my embarrassment, and I can get to work figuring out what I just learned. I appreciate every chance to do better. That said, for so many of us, all too often the initial feeling is of shame. No need for that. We all show up badly, the question is whether or not we’re willing to own it and commit to being more self-aware. No shame in being human. There is, perhaps, shame in denying our humanity, and our right to be flawed.

If this article invited you to think please consider

Either way, thanks for reading today. Now my puppy is being an aggrieved whiny bitch because she needs to pee.